


Seasons Inbetween

by Kikyz



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Canon Irrelevant lol, Cunnilingus, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Lars is 17/18 and Sadie is like 19 just btw, Masturbation, Miscommunication, Music Refs, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Vaginal Fingering, but not really?, cursing, fwb au, i'll add tags as i go, implied poly Cool Kids, lars is too scrawny to handle big emotions, mostly lars pov, sprinkles of tagalog cuz validation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2018-12-04 06:25:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 45,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11549373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kikyz/pseuds/Kikyz
Summary: “Sometimes I lay in bed at night wishing there was someone there to hold me,” Sadie had softly confessed. She had gazed directly into his eyes, and his heart had skipped a beat wondering if she ever pictured him as the one holding her. “You ever...crave it?” Sadie asked longingly. “To be with someone like that?”“All the time,” he muttered truthfully.





	1. Spring

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy... this lol. There's not a lot of smut for these two, and I guess this fic is my way of rectifying that? (though not all chapters will have smut, and the level of graphic-ness varies too. honestly rated this E to be safe.)
> 
> Also sorry it's not pink lars? lol it didn't occur to me until recently that i would only have to tweak it a little to fit my idea of him, but i was already 30k words in, and old lars is just as important to me as his newer, developed self. This vr. of him is suppose to be him pre-wanted but post-the new lars. not that that matters at all...this is all au lol
> 
> (And special thanks to ghidrah for being my beta from chapter 4 and onward. you are a blessing to me lol)

It had happened so fast.

One moment they were playing the newly released game Sadie had picked up for him, munching casually on oyster crackers to fill the time before they were to head out to watch today’s wrestling matches, and the next… They were kissing, sloppy and desperate, as they sprawled back onto his bedroom floor.

Their clothes were stripped away without much thought, their groping hands needy in their explorations of the other’s body. Lars muttered expletives into her neck. His hand fumbled with the condom when he rolled it on hastily. He prodded clumsily until he found her entrance. And she felt so good around him, he couldn’t stop his lips from telling her as much. The minute it took for Sadie to adjust to him being inside her was pure torture. And when she finally nodded that it was okay to move, Lars jerked his hips forward. She moaned deliciously in his ear, and his strokes immediately quickened. Something inside him slipped, and he lost himself completely in the act.

It had happened so fast, and ended even faster.

Two minutes, the clock on his old dvd player taunts him. He had only lasted two minutes. If not a little less.

Lars stares up at the ceiling, breath still coming out heavy and uneven. Sadie’s laying next him, her touch ghosting over his knuckles before she takes his hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

“Did you at least…” Lars swallows the lump in his throat, turning his head to look at her. “Um, _you know_?”

She gives him a sweet little smile before she shakes her head. His blush deepens. God, this is so embarrassing.

“It was nice though,” Sadie tries kindly to placate, her fingers fiddling with his. “I mean, it was nice being close to you.”

It doesn’t make him feel better. Actually, it makes him feel worse. Because _nice_ doesn’t even begin to describe how it felt to be inside her.

There’s an immature part of him that wants to yell at her, _blame her_ , for his failings. He quickly squashes it down though. It’s not her fault she smells, tastes, and feels so frickin’ good to him.

He gives the hand in his a squeeze of his own.

He recalls their conversation from just minutes ago, about how they both felt lonely at times and wouldn’t it be great to have someone to hold and kiss…

Will she still want to find that comfort in him after such a pathetic first time?

His stomach drops, and he frowns harder at himself. Lars sits up. Sadie looks at his determined face questioningly before gasping in surprise when he dives down to kiss her neck.

“Let's go again,” he begs her between gentle nibbles. He licks over her pulse point, feeling just a tiny bit better when he feels it jump in excitement beneath his tongue. “ _Please_ , let me do it again.”

“O-okayyy,” Sadie shakily exhales.

Lars smiles and continues licking his way down her neck to her bosom. Her breasts are the perfect handful for his wide palms, and he kneads one as he peppers the other with wet kisses. Feeling the hardened nub of her pink nipple press into his hand while his tongue flicks over the other is a heady sensation that’s only outranked by the way Sadie gasps and arches her back into his touch.

Groping hand and suckling mouth eagerly switch places, and he dotes on the soft and ample mounds with sweet attention. Caressing and sucking her nipples in tandem, albeit a tad sloppily, Sadie shivers beneath him with a tiny moan. He pinches the pebbled nub between his teeth, tugging and biting as his excitement grew. But he must have bit too hard, because the way she hisses as her body flinches didn’t exactly scream anything good. So Lars hastily press tender kisses around the wide circumference of her dusky pink areola before moving onward.

Each kiss he plants on her skin on his way down sets off a tiny firework for Sadie. Each firm press of his lips causes a burst of warmth on wherever he’s just placed a kiss, her skin tingling deliciously and it only fizzles out when he moves to the next spot to do it all over again. It makes her belly flip. The constant sparks prickling her nerve endings almost feels torturous. Sadie shifts beneath him, rubbing her thighs together as Lars kisses a heated path from her ribs to her stomach. He’s barely doing anything, but Sadie feels like a livewire.

His big brown eyes glance up to hers through his dark, boyish lashes when the tip of his tongue dips into her belly button. Her body convulses, and a pool of warmth drops between her legs. Lars’s breathy chuckle, accompanied by that crooked grin of his, has Sadie’s heart working overtime.

His hands run up and down her sides as he kisses around her belly button. He smiles when he feels Sadie try to suck in the slight paunch of her stomach, and glides his tongue further down. Little jagged lines mark her wide hips. Lars thumbs where her hips begin to flare out, his bottom lip tracing over the lighting bolts etched on her skin. He has similar, less noticeable marks near his pelvis from his last growth spurt. It’s a small similarity, but having anything in common with her makes his heart beat with pride. So he smiles as he adoringly laves his tongue over it too.

He leaves a trail of kisses down her thigh. His teeth graze over her knee, and Lars pecks a quick smooch on the little dimple he’s just noticed resides there. Her curvy legs are lightly covered with wisps of barely visible hair that pleasantly tickle his lips as he kisses his way down her calf to her ankle. He then moves to the other ankle, giving it a gentle nip instead of a kiss before swiftly licking his way back up to her upper thigh in one long, wet sweep of his tongue.

Lars is then faced with her delicate looking folds.

Sadie stills under his reverent gaze when his fingers gently spread the full lips there. Everything is pink and glistening. The aroma is intoxicating. His mouth is watering to the point that he has to swallow, adam’s apple bobbing. His lustful eyes flicker up to hers before dropping back to her center. He licks his lips in yearning, dick twitching even as a beat of uncertainty flashes through him.

Fuck it.

He licks up her slit.

Kind of tangy, though not exactly sweet like ripe mangoes the way he once heard. It’s not comparable to anything else he’s ever tasted, actually. It’s purely Sadie. Lars’s tongue eagerly laves over her again, moaning when she bucks reflexively into his mouth.

Lars pulls back with a grin. Sadie looks a bit dazed as she smiles back. Lars quickly wipes the slick on his mouth off on his forearm, and comes back up to fuse their lips together. Sadie hums a soft sound at tasting herself on him. He wants to tell her how unbelievably good she tastes. He can’t find the words though, least not any that didn’t sound dumb in his head. So Lars just keeps kissing her instead.

Her hands, which have been fisting the little blanket under them for the most part, comes up to glide fervently over the expanse of his back, caressing shoulder blades and scratching down the bumps of his spine while they ardently makeout.

Lars’s arms bracket her head, his fingers tangling in her yellow tresses. He groans into the kiss before nipping her bottom lip with a soundless laugh when her soft hands move down to squeeze his bum. She lets out a little laugh too, and their mouths meld back together.

Her hands slide back up, groping his shoulders, caressing his chest, thumbing his brown nipples, tracing his ribs, teasing his sides, and mapping the jutted bone of his pelvis down its sloping v… Lars is so caught up in their impassioned kiss, it doesn’t quite register that Sadie’s exploring hands have a final destination in mind. So the silent gasp that breaks their kiss is equal parts shock and pleasure when Sadie wraps a hand around his hard shaft.

Lars shifts to the side, allowing her more access to him. One of her hands on his hip, her gaze drops to the hand that's fisting him with open curiosity. They had rushed through their first time together. Neither really got a good look at the other until now.

As she shyly runs her finger down a ridged vein, making him shudder, Lars nervously wonders what she thinks of him. He knows he’s pretty average length wise, though he has a nice enough girth. It curves ever so slightly to the left, mushroom top head pointing at her. Then there’s the discoloration, his dick at least two shades darker than the rest of him. Compared to all her soft pinks and peachy creams, dewy folds looking every bit like a pressed rose, he feels downright hideous.

Any worries melt away, however, when she thumbs circles on the flushed head.

It feels so good. Her hand strokes him in a tight grip, finding a steady rhythm that has his breath hitching. His eyes keep darting from her pale hand working his sun kissed skin, to her flushed face that’s pinched with concentration, and back. He can feel something tighten in his lower abdomen, and his hips jerk. Lars lets out a heavy exhale through his nose, eyes closing while he bites his lower lip. Shit. He’s definitely going to cum again if she doesn’t stop soon. So he takes hold of her wrist, and moves her hand away.

Her eyes send him a questioning look, slightly worried she did something wrong. Lars blushes and shakes his head. He kisses the underside of her wrist and the center of her palm before placing her hand to her breast, over her racing heart.

His large hand then travels downward, fingertips teasing her with light brushes until he lands atop her center. Their eyes lock. Lars gently scratches over the thatch of wheat colored curls before turning his wrist over to cup her sex. Sadie gasps at the initial contact, bucking into his hand and drawing a curse out of Lars. He has to glance away. The shockwave of pleasure flashing over her face; sparking in her dilated eyes, flushing her cheeks to a deeper shade of pink, and turning her lips to a perfect little ‘o’ in that brief moment is altogether too much for Lars to take in. The sight makes butterflies flutter from his gut up to his chest cavity. _He_ made her look like that?

Rubbing her slit in a slow and tender motion, moisture gathers on his hand. Lars bites his lip again, both of them shivering as he clumsily touches along her heated core. Her entrance is easier to find this time around, and Lars’s long middle finger slowly sinks into her.

Slick warmth and silken walls of muscle clench tight around his finger. Lars’s breath gets huskier. Sadie makes a small yet salacious noise of pleasure that hits him straight in the chest, and it zings down to his groin where he gets impossibly harder. His wide eyes dart up to her face, and for a fleeting moment Lars basks in the open desire burning in Sadie’s eyes. And then he’s kissing her, mouth slanting over hers so his delving tongue can mimic his finger as he drags the digit almost all the way out before sinking back in. He does it again and again, settling into a steady rhythm.

Curling and twisting his finger, her walls spasms, and their kiss break with Sadie moaning hotly on his mouth. His stomach swoops, and he angles himself to lay more on his side so he can grind against her thigh to relieve the pressure building inside him.

Lars carefully watches her face contort when he adds another finger. Unsure if it’s from pleasure or pain, he stills and sweetly kisses her temple. Her eyelids flutter at the unexpectedly affectionate gesture, and he timidly looks away from the questioning wonder in her eyes. Lars then brings his thumb up to caress featherlight circles around that little bud that’s slightly protruding from its hooded hiding place above her entrance. The resulting jerk of her hips, her stuttering out his name in a sinful moan while her walls clench around him, has his fingers moving with purpose again.

She meets him beat for beat, stroke for stroke. With every rock of her hips, his movements grow more urgent. Her warm juices run down his knuckles. Their heavy breaths fill the air, and her heady scent permeates the room. It makes his head hazy, like he’s getting high off it.

Lars groans, hanging his head a moment as precum dribbles out of him. His dick twitches, dying to get back inside her.

Lars only had the one condom, however. A souvenir from the sex ed portion of health class. And even if he had another, he doesn’t want to stop to find it in the wreckage that makes up his room. So he settles on actively humping her thigh, grinding his pelvis on her hot skin in time with his thrusting fingers.

He’s flicking his wrist with abandon now, fingers moving so fast they’re practically vibrating. Excited thrills shoot through him each time he hears Sadie’s breath hitch, or feel a tremor rake over her body. If his hand is starting to cramp up, Lars doesn’t feel it. He’s much too absorbed in the obvious pleasure displayed on her flushed face. _Fuck, she’s gorgeous._

Sadie whines, bucking into his hand even when her tiny hand flies down to wrap around his wrist. Lars doesn’t stop working her with his fingers, though his range of motion is now limited. Snug and deep inside her, his fingers curl and spread. Sadie’s head thrashes to the side. A loud cry belts out of her. Her hips jerk. Her grip on him tightens to the point of pain. He speeds up his pace, unknowingly flicking her clit with just the right amount of pressure.

Suddenly, a new wave of heat washes over his fingers, and Sadie’s arching off the floor. She stills, body strung like a bow. And then she starts to tremble, her mouth opening wide to release an almost soundless, high pitched scream. His eyes go wide in awe, his jaw slack, at the sight of her coming undone. Pulse after hot pulse squeezes around his fingers, her juices coat his hand, and Lars chokes on a gasp as he feels himself cum lightly on her thigh.

_Sweet Jesus._

She flops back to the ground a moment later, her body relaxing enough for him to remove his hand. He rolls his wrist and flexes his fingers, snickering breathlessly when he sees that the pads had started to prune. Had he been touching her _that_ long, or was she just that wet? Either way, he grins down at her.

“Nice?” he laughingly asks her, still panting. She’s still shaking like a leaf, her face redder than he’s ever seen it. She barely seems able to answer his question as he prompts her once more. “Better than nice?”

Sadie nods enthusiastically, a breathless ‘ _yeah’_ falling from her lips.

He grins harder. Lars falls to lay fully on his back. Most of the blanket in bunched up under Sadie, but the cool wood floor feels good on his hot skin.

It takes a minute or two for them to catch their breaths, another for the thrill to fade enough for a bit of awkwardness to creep over him, and another for Lars to gain the strength to sit back up. He reaches out to the basket of clean clothes he hasn’t bothered to fold and put up that’s next to the tv. Plucking a wash rag from the pile, he hands it to her somewhat sheepishly.

“Oh, uh thanks,” Sadie weakly laughs out in a hushed voice.

Lars nods, making a point to not look at her while she wipes between her legs before cleaning away the cooled white splatter he left on her thigh. Instead he turns off his television, the abandoned fighting game on the large flat screen fading to black. It might have been the wrong move, for the silence in the room is much more noticeable now. The burn on his cheeks that had been beginning to fade flares back to life. Lars hastily grabs his underwear from the floor.

He glances at the time, and chews on his bottom lip. Nearly eight p.m.

Slipping his boxers back on, Lars stands up. Sadie sits up as well, following his lead by collecting her clothes. His motions slow to a stop, sidetracked into watching her curvy body disappear as she quickly pulls on her sports bra and purple shirt. She makes a face as she wiggles into her damp underwear. She must feel his eyes on her, because she glances his way when her jeggings are pulled up over her wide hips. Lars swiftly darts his eyes away. He finishes shrugging on his shirt to distract himself from the way his stomach does somersaults at the sight of her small knowing smile, clearly pleased to catch him staring.

“You still wanna go to wrestling tonight?” he blurts. It seems like a dumb thing to ask after what they’ve just done. But reality is starting to settle over them, and Lars doesn’t want things to get too weird. Despite everything, Sadie is his best friend and he really doesn’t want what they’ve just done to eradicate that. “We still got time to make the first match if we hurry.”

Sadie blinks at him, like she’s surprised that _that’s_ the first thing to come out his mouth. She then glances away from Lars, her head tilting to the side as her fingers comb through her hair. However, their gazes meet again just a few seconds later. The confusion that pinched her face mere seconds ago is gone. In its place is something he can’t quite figure out a name for. But then Sadie gives him that tiny smile of hers, and though it doesn’t seem to reach her eyes, it doesn’t appear to be fake either. So Lars grins back as she nods.

“Uh… Y-yeah, let me find my shoes and we can head out.”

 

**\---**

 

“Tiger Millionaire was so awesome tonight!” Lars, still pumped from watching the fights, bounces beside Sadie as they exit the building together. The last hour and a half had been spent screaming and cheering from the crowd, all thoughts forgotten beyond how amazing and entertaining the wrestlers were as they duked it out in a grand showdown. “He totally slaughtered those other guys!”

Sadie nods in agreement, smiling slightly at her friend’s exuberant excitement.

“I still think he’s Steven, though.”

“Ugh, Sadie.” Lars rolls his eyes in mock annoyance. “I thought we agreed that you’d keep that little theory to yourself.”

“Oh, hush,” she snorts, playfully shoving him. “When the truth comes out, you’re gonna feel stupid for not listening to me.”

“You say that about a lot of things.”

“And I’m usually right, Lars.”

He scoffs dismissively, mainly because it’s true and he has no other way to combat her. She seems to know she’s won, and her tiny smile widens a fraction with smugness. If she didn’t look so cute right then, he’d be able to think clearly enough to come up with a snide remark to knock her down a peg. So, in lieu of that, Lars just tucks his hands away in his front pockets, and takes a few long strides that has her struggling to keep up.

“Hey! Don’t be a jerk,” she calls after him. “Slow down.”

He does, matching her pace with ease and a smug grin of his own.

Sadie rolls her eyes at his antics. “You’re such a child sometimes, Lars.”

“Yeah, well... _Ngh_.” He sticks his tongue out at her. She glowers at him, and does the same to him. He instantly cracks, and a bout of chuckles escape him. Sadie giggles along with him.

As they walk towards home under stars and streetlights, Lars starts to sniffle. They cut through someone’s garden, and it proves to be a mistake. The lingering pollen in the air makes his eyes itchy. He sneezes, again and again, until his nose is red. The heel of his palm rubbing at his eyes, the orbs start to water and he sighs. He scrubs his face on his shirt, which only makes it worse. He sneezes again, the sound echoing in the night, his nose suddenly feeling stuffy.

Lars lets out a miserable whine. With a tug on one of his belt loops, Sadie makes them pause their journey. He’s blinking away the moisture stinging in his eyes, while Sadie digs through her little wallet purse for a miniature pack of tissues. They’re the good kind, unscented with drops of aloe so it's soft on his skin. Ever helpful, Sadie lifts the tissue up to his nose for him. He frowns, truly feeling like a child now. But he blows his nose anyway, and takes hold of the soft paper only when she urges him to do so she can grab another tissue from the pack.

He kind of hates it when she babies him. Lars had once thought it had to do with their slight age difference, but the truth is that Sadie’s just too frickin’ nice. There were times she would even overstep boundaries to assist him with something, but she’s gotten better about that with time. It still kills him sometimes, though. His cheeks burning and his stomach rolling as she constantly steps in to help him. And, admittedly, he had took advantage of that kind heartedness earlier on in their friendship. He still feels like an ass for it. It’s one of the many reasons he’s not worthy of her affections.

The fresh memory of her gasping his name, her tight heat squeezing around his fingers, pops into his head unbidden.

He had confessed to being lonely, and then they had… Shit. He thought she had been offering _something_ , but maybe it was a one time thing? _A pity fuck_. Lars frowns at the thought of her doing it with him in some absurd act of kindness. He’d much rather be her in-between guy than _that_.

He shrugs the thoughts away, and accepts the new tissue to dab at his eyes.

Sadie grabs hold of his shirt, guiding him forward as he continues to sneeze into the tissues she’s given him. Her house comes up before his, and after a slight pause at the door where Sadie fumbles to find her house keys, they stroll into the quiet abode.

While Sadie kicks off her red flats by the door, Lars dashes over to the kitchen sink. He tosses aside the crumpled ball of tissue in his hand to wash his face with cool water. He sighs dramatically with relief. Sadie giggles behind him. Lars smirks as he rips a paper towel off the roll next to the sink, knowing it was the kind of laugh that is usually accompanied by an eyeroll. _He’s amused her._ He finds himself chuckling as he wipes his face clean.

“It _stings_ ,” he explains in a fake huff, crossing his arms, which only makes her continue to giggle softly.

“Obviously. Don’t you have allergy meds?”

“Eh.” Lars shrugs, and sucks his teeth. He didn’t like taking it. Made him drowsy when he was younger, and constantly having to check labels to make sure something won’t have an adverse effect with the behavioral meds he got prescribed at fourteen just made taking any drug too much of a hassle.

Sadie tilts her head at him. Lars gingerly collects all the wadded tissue paper, and tosses it in the garbage. Sadie opens her mouth, as if to further inquire about his allergies, but then his stomach growls. Loudly.

She snorts. He blushes.

“Have you eaten anything today besides junk food?” Sadie asks him. When he shrugs, she gives him a look and forces him to take a seat at the counter. “You should eat before you head out.”

She ignores his mild protest, not trusting him to eat anything of nutritional value when he got home.

Sadie sweetly pats his arm, flashing him a tiny grin before she spins on her heel. Something about the gesture seems to say _I’ll take care of you_ , and it makes his face heat up all the more. But glancing up to see her filling bowls with leftover pasta salad for them, softly humming some pop song to herself in the dimly lit room, makes a smile quirk up his lips. With her feet bare, and his mind drifting back to when she had been decidedly more nude, well... It all felt rather _domestic_.

“So are we married now?” Lars asks jokingly, continuing to watch her flitter about the kitchen to fix him a quick meal. She frowns at him, slamming the glass of orange juice she just poured for him loudly on the countertop. The liquid splashes up a little, spilling on Lars’s hand. Lars frowns back, but she’s already flouncing away to put up the tupperware container she’d taken out the fridge. He wipes his hand on the side of his jeans before he laughs dryly. “Thanks, _wifey_.”

Blushing, Sadie returns to the table and places the bowls down. She takes the seat next to him.

“So does this mean we’re actually gonna talk about what happened?” she asks almost shyly, stabbing into her bowl for a small chunk of broccoli, meat, and curly noodles. “Since you're making jokes about it.”

“What’s to talk about?” Lars shrugs, all false bravado, as he shovels pasta salad into his mouth. His cheeks are flaming, and he refuses to look at her. “We’re good, right?”

“Yeah,” she whispers with a little nod. Sadie quietly sighs, and she almost sounded… _Disappointed?_ “We’re good.”

He swallows, and chews nervously on his bottom lip. His mind once again drifts back to earlier tonight, this time to before he got bold and kissed her until they were naked and panting.

 _“Sometimes I lay in bed at night wishing there was someone there to hold me,” she had confessed softly after he had complained about how lame being lonely is. She had gazed directly into his eyes, and his heart had skipped a beat wondering if she ever pictured_ **_him_ ** _as the one holding her. “You ever...crave it?” Sadie asked hushly, longingly. “To be with someone like that?”_

_“All the time,” he muttered truthfully, the controller in his hands dropping to the floor, their game forgotten._

And maybe it had been wishful thinking that made Lars interpret it as her propositioning him when she had reassuredly palmed his knee and squeezed it, but she hadn’t reacted negatively when he bridged the gap between them. And now, watching her subduedly chew her late night dinner as she sneak glances at him, he can’t help but wonder if maybe… Maybe she _had_ been offering?

“But if you want to...uh, ya know, do _it_ again?” he forces himself to say. “I mean, if we were to reap the benefits of friendship, I wouldn’t be like completely opposed to that...Yeah.”

The words rolled awkwardly off his tongue. Her head snaps up, her eyes wide. Lars cringes. Her face turns contemplative. Her gaze stays locked to green tabletop. His shoulders go taunt, and he steels himself for rejection. _Such an idiot! Why would she want to do that with him?_

“Okay.”

“W-what?” Lars sputters in disbelief. “Wait. Really?”

“Yeah, Lars,” she solidifies, a smirk breaking across her face at his obvious excitement. “Tonight was --”

“Don’t say nice.”

“ _Fun_. I ...enjoyed it,” she admits with a tiny laugh that held more nerves than mirth. “And if it became a regular thing that happened then… I guess it wouldn’t be the worst thing ever.”

“Gee. Thanks,” Lars snorts coolly, though an entire colony of butterflies have erupted in his stomach. “Real ringing endorsement there, Sades. Remind me not to list you as a reference.”

Sadie just chuckles, cheeks all pink. And then they’re smiling at each other.

“But cool,” he says giddily, turning his gaze back to his food as he tries to reign in his joy. His leg is bouncing with exuberant energy, causing his chair to creak. His cheeks might just break, he’s smiling so hard. _She enjoyed it, and wants to do it again!_

Lars is still a bit in disbelief that she’s agreed to be his...friend with benefits. There’s a weird undercurrent of discontent at that, but his grin is still huge as he eats more pasta.

“Heh, yeah,” Sadie softly coincides between bites. “Cool.”


	2. Summer I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another work day...

He thinks he might be hearing someone call his name, but the voice barely filters through the loud music blasting from Lars’s earbuds. He blinks. Glancing behind him and seeing no one, Lars shrugs to himself and goes back to leaning his weight on the broom in his hands. He stares out the front windows of the Big Donut, wistfully watching people walk by in their swimsuits and floppy sunhats.

The first official day of summer and he’s working the evening shift. So lame.

“Ugh, Lars!” Sadie snaps, yanking out his headphones. “I’ve been calling you for the past five minutes!”

Lars yelps an embarrassingly high pitched sound and flinches back at the sudden attack. The broom clatters loudly to the floor, and he scrambles to find his balance without it. Lars blushes before frowning down at the tiny blonde glaring up at him.

“What?” he asks irritably.

“You’re suppose to help me unload today’s inventory,” she rants. “You said you would! And yet, when the truck came you just walked off. I’m tired of doing everything by myself around here, and...”

Oh. She is _big mad_.

Lars snorts. As she yells at him, her words bleed into the background with the muted song still blasting from his earbuds. Being on the receiving end of her ire is usually kind of scary, but… Her dark brown eyes are ablaze, her ample bosom heaving, her blonde curls wild from being tugged on in annoyance. Lars can’t help but notice how unbelievably hot she is when fired up. His cock stiffens in his pants as she stomps closer to jab her finger at him. Lars chuckles when he realizes her flushed face is the exact shade of pink her creamy skin takes on when she cums.

“ _What_ are you laughing at?” Sadie huffs, smacking his chest. “You’re such a jerk!”

“Geez, Sadie. Calm down,” Lars grumbles as he rubs the sting she caused on his chest, but he can’t keep the grin off his face. “I didn’t mean to ignore you. Chill. I’ll help stock the stupid doughnuts.”

Her shoulders relax, but her little frown stays in place as she walks off to the back. He picks up the broom, and puts it in the corner by the entrance. He glances at the sign hanging on the door for a brief second before he flips it to say _'Sorry, We’re Closed'_ to any potential customers. 

Lars grins mischievously to himself when he joins her in the back. Sadie raises an eyebrow at him, but just hands him a box-cutter instead of questioning him about it. Obviously she’s still a little miffed at him, but a few playful glances from him has her smiling again.

They unbox a hefty load of doughnuts, sodas, Lion Lickers, and other treats. They take their time restocking the sweets in their proper places before heading to the back to store what’s leftover. She’s humming a little tune, shaking her bottom to the peppy beat while she stands on a stepper to reach the freezer portion of the storage fridge. Lars smiles as he watches her, handing her ice cream and popsicles to put away. She really needs to listen to some of his indie records. The pop songs she softly sings around the doughnut shop always get stuck in his head, and knowing all the words to silly Top 40 hits like _Haven’t You Noticed (I’m A Star)_ is not exactly helping his strides for coolness.

But she’s so frickin’ cute when she merrily sings them, he can’t really fault her for it.

So when Sadie hops down to put away the doughnuts, Lars bends down behind her to nuzzle the side of her neck. The humming comes to an abrupt stop.

They’ve been doing _it_ for a few weeks now, each time better than the last. It kind of blew his mind how when they came together, they seem to connect on another level. Reading unspoken desires with a look. Knowing when to give and take by the slightest jerk or moan. It’s to the point that he’s not entirely convinced she can’t read his mind. God, he hopes she can’t. There’s a lot of embarrassingly jumbled thoughts clouding his brain, most of them involving her and feelings he’d rather not name.

She knew all the buttons to push to make him go crazy in the best of ways, and they were discovering new ones together.

But he knows her buttons too. Like, for example, nothing gets her going quicker than warm kisses on her neck.

“Lars!” Sadie giggles out in mild protest, but he continues to smack messy kisses along the curve of her neck. Her head automatically tilts to the side for him, giving him more access to the tender flesh despite her voice trying (and failing) to sound stern. “We’re at work!”

Lars scoffs, his hands on her hips guiding Sadie around to face him. He pouts. Sadie snorts and giggles more, eyes rolling. But he keeps pouting, and his big puppy dog eyes bore into hers. Amusement twinkles in her dark orbs, and he decides to switch gears.

“Please,” Lars begs sweetly with his biggest, cheekiest grin. When it doesn’t seem to work, he leans in closer. Close enough to see the little heat bumps that dot her button nose. Close enough for her face to blur. Close enough for their foreheads to bump, and he can peck a pleading smooch on her upper lip. And another one. And another. “Just a quickie. Pretty please?”

“Ugh. Okay, okay,” she relents with a breathy laugh, pushing him and canting her head so she can properly kiss him back. “But just this once.”

“Okay,” he giddily responds, chuckling in triumph before he plants a firmer kiss on her lips.

“I’m serious,” she tells him when their lips break apart. “We’re not gonna make a habit of doing this here.”

Lars just chuckles and nods, pulling her up to meet his onslaught of fervent kisses.

“Not. By. The. Dough. Nuts,” she says between each impassioned collision of their lips. Allowing him to pull her closer, his knees knock into her upper thighs. “It’s. Un. Sani. Tary.”

“Kay,” Lars breathes hotly over her lips before resuming his slew of increasingly zealous kisses, blindly walking them towards the break area.

One hand slinking up in her hair, the other pressed on her lower back, pushing her more firmly against him. Sadie melts into Lars, sighing blissfully into his mouth. Lars’s arms are tight around her, nearly sweeping Sadie up as he kisses her. She’s on her tiptoes, neck craning as her hands desperately fists his purple work shirt as the kiss deepens. Melded mouths heatedly slanting while ardent tongues intertwine, an intensity burns through them.

She’s so much shorter than him. Kissing her while standing up is starting to put a crick in his neck, but he ignores it a few minutes longer to nibble on her bottom lip. Sweet like strawberries on his tongue, though he knows she hasn’t eaten any. He just _has_ to suck on it until she’s letting out that little whimper that never fails to make him feel a surge of pride in his chest.

They break apart with heavy breaths.

His eyes dart frantically around the room for a place to settle. He’s not strong enough to hold her up against the wall, and he knows for a fact that the floor is nowhere near clean enough for what he wants to do. The foldout break table is small and likely to collapse, but it's their best option.

He squeezes two handfuls of her perfect ass, moaning into her mouth as he dives back into a kiss. She’s so fucking soft and plump. Her arms open for him freely, and cling around him so endearingly. She makes his heart thump in his ears. It’s no wonder that he’s falling in… _No. Brain, shut the fuck up._

Lars gently nudges her to step backwards until the back of her legs bump into the table. He spins her around and bends her over it in one fluid motion, with an effortlessness he’ll probably never be able to recreate. Sadie gasps, lifting her heart shaped rear in the air for him. Lars’s teeth sink hungrily into his bottom lip. _God_.

He curses at his hands for not moving fast enough as he undoes his pants. Boxers and jeans are pushed down just enough to free himself. He yanks down her leggings to pool around her ankles, her simple cotton panties following shortly after. Lars lines himself up with one hand, the other groping a lush globe of her behind. He teases her slit with his tip, and they both groan at the contact. Her slick coats him, and Lars shudders. A drop of precum dribbles out of him. He unthinkingly smears it around her nether lips, moaning before rubbing at her entrance.

“W-wait,” Sadie stutters when the head of his cock dips inside. Lars stills behind her with a soft, protesting whine escaping him. “Did you put on a condom?”

Oh, shit. He pretty much forgotten about that in his eager excitement. She’s twisting her neck to look at him over her shoulder, and he blushes guiltily.

“Oh my god! Lars!” she practically squawks in a panic. “Pull out, pull out, pull out!”

“Shit. Right, right,” he hisses, rushing to do as commanded. “Sorry.”

“I haven’t been on the pill long enough for that,” she tells him in a huff, standing up to worriedly finger around her slit. He didn’t know she was on the pill _at all_. His dick, tip still wet from her juices, twitch in excitement at the prospect of condom-free sex. But that’s for a later date.

Sadie sighs. Her body jiggles enticingly as she pulls her panties all the way up. He grabs his erection, stroking it a few times as he apologizes again.

“But I do got a condom, though,” he tells her. He’s recently gotten into the habit of always carrying one on him. Tucking one in a pocket every morning always made him grin.

Sadie stills. Her hands, which had been reaching for her leggings, come back up to rest on her hips. She eyes him somewhat skeptically, but then her gaze drops to between his legs. Her cheeks get rosier, and she bites her lip in a shy smile. His heart thumps in his chest as he watches her thumbs hook into the sides of her panties, peeling them back down her curvy legs before toeing out of it completely. Her gaze locks onto his, and she nods for him to come forward.

Lars rushes to scramble back to her, capturing her lips in a heady kiss.

He whips off his shirt, placing it on the table before helping her up to sit on it. He then fishes the condom out his back pocket, ripping it open with his teeth and hurriedly rolling it down his thick shaft.

Lars licks up the delicate column of her throat to the underside of her jaw, the silken skin tasting faintly of salt and sugar. Her arms linked around his neck, her legs spread wider so he can sink inside her, inch by delicious inch, until he’s buried to the hilt. His eyes flutter, taking a second to luxuriate in Sadie’s pulsing heat.

_God, she feels good._

He presses another kiss to her neck unthinkingly. Lars grinds into her, teasing her little bud with his pelvis to get that sweet little gasp out of her. He grins when he’s successful, but she tugs on his hair to remind him to hurry it up. He chuckles at the few impatient bucks of her hip, but it’s a shaky sound because she’s honestly making his head swim. So his hips rock back only to surge forward once more, again and again. Her short legs lock around his waist, and she bucks to meet his thrusts. The friction they build together is frickin’ incredible.

His mouth stays on her neck, sucking and nipping her pulse point until she’s a shuddering mess, and even after that. One of his hands span over her hip and lower back, holding her in place as he pounds into her. The other kneads her breast over her shirt, thumb flicking her pebbled nipple through the fabric just because he likes the feel of it. He bangs his legs into edge of the table with each enthusiastic thrust, accidentally pushing it, making the hard plastic wobble and scrape across the floor.

“Lars!”

Sadie moaning his name like that is the sexiest sound that’ll ever grace his ears. Combined with the sting of her blunt nails clawing into his back as she clings to him as if her life depended on it, makes his chest swell. He bends over her as she leans back to lie more on the table, his body following hers instinctively. Lars rests his head fully on her shoulder, panting heavily over the fresh love bites on her neck, his brows knit together as he squeezes his eyes shut. His pace quickens. Her silken walls pulse deliciously around him.

“Shit, bab--” Lars rasps before he catches himself. He tries to shake his head clear. No, not baby. That’s too revealing. His foggy brain has no time to worry about the almost slip. His dick is quivering inside her.  “ _Sades._ ”

His hand drops between them, rubbing blindly until he finds her clit. Hard, yet soft and slippery from her juices. He flicks the bud enthusiastically, mentally begging her to cum as he continues to fuck her for all he’s worth. Or maybe he’s pleading her out loud, because he’s vaguely aware that he’s rambling something into the crook of her neck.

Lars feels her convulse beneath and around him. _Yes, finally!_ She moans in his ear. Fireworks go off in his brain and his eyes flutter from the sensation of her climax rippling around him, silken walls snugly milking his cock. Lars groans, and follows her over the edge with a few hard and jerky strokes.

Lazily, Lars starts kissing her neck again while he lingers inside her for a few seconds before pulling out. Sadie rubs tender circles on his back. He sighs happily, licking over the new hickey darkening her creamy skin.

“We got to get back to work, Lars,” she tells him after a minute of labored breathing.

“Yeah, yeah,” he mumbles almost dismissively, sitting up and disposing of the condom before he zips up his jeans. He comes back to stand in front her, handing Sadie her leggings and underwear from off the floor.

“And _you're_ going to write the inventory report,” she tacks on, hopping off the table to shimmy into her clothes.

Lars opens his mouth to argue, paperwork was so mind numbingly lame and it took him way longer to do it than it does for her, but then Sadie’s pressing a tender kiss on his cheek. His heart thumps up in his throat, and he fucking melts. Despite all they’ve just done, _that’s_ what’s got him going wide eyed and weak in the knees. He’s not even certain if he actually responded, or if he had just sputtered nonsense at her.

But she gives him smile, all sugar and sunshine, before she leaves the break room. He watches her depart, heart still pounding.

Oh, he is so fucked.

Lars doesn’t worry about the stupid emotions swirling inside him for long. He successfully pushes it down, and goes to grab his shirt.  He frowns at the large wet spot staining the Big Donut logo. He puts it on anyway, laughing when her scent -- apples and cinnamon with the overwhelming added bonus of her tangy arousal -- fills his nose.

Sadie looks horrified when she sees the dark circle on his chest, which only makes him laugh more as he walks past her to get the stupid clipboard to fill out the dumb report. And if he doesn’t wash the shirt for a few days, -- taking small whiffs of it throughout the work shift until he’s all fuzzy in the head, and snickering like an idiot each time Sadie’s nose wrinkles whenever she gets too close to him -- well… That’s nobody’s business.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since this ones kinda short, decided to just go ahead n post it...


	3. Summer II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> x weeks later, in the living room stressin'

Lars glances around the cozy living room.

Sour Cream plays some of his new beats on his laptop, periodically stopping the music to edit and splice in new sounds. Jenny is reclined on the sofa, legs crossed over Buck’s lap, with her bare feet propped up on the armrest. Her eyes are glued to her phone, finger poised and ready as she scrolls through various social media sites. Buck sits contently, head bobbing and fingers tapping rhythmically on Jenny’s knee to the mellow EDM pouring out of the laptop’s speakers. When a song ends, or Sour Cream pauses it, Buck gives a word or two of commentary that causes Sour Cream to nod and _mm-hm._

It’s honestly kind of boring.

When they had invited Lars to tag along with them, he had thought they would doing… well, _something_. Had he really given up a movie night at Sadie’s for this? Not that this isn’t nice. It’s chill, though being around the trio makes him feel on edge as he tries desperately to give off an air of coolness. It gives him heart palpitations, and makes him sweaty. Despite all his efforts, Lars knows he’s nowhere near cool enough to hang with them. So maybe he simply doesn’t _get it_. Still…

He could be sprawled out on Sadie’s comfy bed, watching one of the films in her awesome horror collection while he steals all her fluffy pillows just to make her huff and shove him before laying her head on his lap or shoulder as if it was a punishment for him.

Lars blinks out of the thoughts that has him smiling softly when he spies Sour Cream’s little brother by the door leading to the hallway. Lars raises a brow at the little boy just standing there in the shadows, staring at Lars with a blank expression. He doesn’t even blink. A cold shiver shoots down Lars’s spine.

“Ugh, I hate when Kiki gets online. She likes _everything_ ,” Jenny complains, thankfully distracting Lars from the leering child. “It totally clogs up my feed. I love the girl, but really? What’s so great about this slug photo Ronaldo posted nine months ago that she just gotta give it three hearts?”

“Y-yeah, that’s so lame,” Lars chimes in just for the sake of it.

“I think it’s cool,” Buck says with a casual shrug. Lars can feel his spirit cringe as it tries to escape his body, but no. Lars is still very much alive to hear Buck’s smooth as silk voice explain. “She’s like seeing the good in everything. Even slugs are beautiful in the eyes of beholders, you know?”

“Deep,” Sour Cream comments.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Jenny relents with a smile. Lars bites his lip, feeling foolish for opening his trap. Though a little less so when Jenny adds, “Still annoying though.”

“I can unlink your accounts,” Sour Cream offers, but Jenny declines with a shake of her head.

Lars just sits there, uncertain what else to add to the conversation or if saying anything was even necessary. He shifts a little on the floor, his cool sitting pose faltering. He quickly straightens back up, glancing around to make sure no one seen the slight slip up. All his weight is being put on his left hand as he leans to the side, legs outstretched and wide. He tries to keep his expression aloof just like the dude in some cologne ad he’d once seen sitting like this in _NOICE_ magazine. But his shoulder is starting to hurt, his arm is wobbling, and the carpet is itching his palm.

“She is so gorgeous!” Jenny suddenly squeals. “I’m totally DM-ing her. What a look!”

She shoves the phone into Buck’s face. He makes a small approving noise, but not much else of a reaction is given. The phone is then passed to Sour Cream, who’s pale cheeks turn pink when his blue eyes glance at the image on screen.

“Woah,” he says before handing it to Lars.

“Right?” Jenny chirps back with a grin.

Lars takes in the pictured woman, and...Yeah, she was mad hot. Slicked down hair that curled at the ends. Tiny pleated shorts that show off long, bronzed legs. A matching white blazer with nothing beneath it, her chest barely covered. White stilettoes firmly planted on cobblestone. A cloudless blue sky in the back drop. Green bedroom eyes that were too cool to look directly at the camera, and pouty brown lips that only hinted at a smile. The photo looked professional too, something meant for a glossy page in some fashion magazine. If the sheer number of photos on her page wasn’t so overwhelmingly high, Lars might have thought it was a catfishing page.

“Babe of the night, I’m calling it. Unless you guys think you can find a cuter cutie?” Jenny challenges as she takes back her phone. She taps the screen, making do on her promise to message the girl in the photo.  “I’ll give ya’ll five minutes.”

Sour Cream chuckles softly, opening the site up on his laptop while Buck digs out his cell. Lars gives up on his model pose to sit up and fish out his own phone.

He opens the site’s app, and his palms get sweaty.

He never posted on the photo-centric site, since every selfie he’s ever taken has never looked cool enough for the internet to see. The only people he follows besides people he know are porn stars, and girls that look like they could be porn stars. All the pictures in his feed are of scantily clad women with implants under bad lighting. His cheeks flame. He can’t show the Cool Kids that!

He taps the search bar in a panic.

_Cute girls. Cute girls. Cute girls. Who’s a girl cute enough to impress them?_

Lars draws a blank, but he somehow finds himself on Sadie’s page.

There isn’t much on it. It’s mostly pictures of things or places from around town, or when she went on vacation or a school trip. There’s a few pictures of her and her mom baking cookies together, flour dusting their hands and faces. Her hair is pulled back in a ponytail that’s so fluffy looking, his fingers are itching to touch it. One or two are with Steven, the bubbly boy starry eyed as he grins big next to her with the Big Donut in the background. And there’s one of just Lars staring at the camera with the most bored expression that the ironically used happy filter -- cartoony rainbows and smiling suns floating about his head -- is almost funny. Almost.

He stalls on a candid picture of her seated on a blanket at the beach. A sheer floral wrap is tied around her, shrouding the blue one piece she’s wearing. Wind whipping her blonde curls, one tiny hand holds down her sunhat while the other holds a half eaten ice cream cone, chocolate dripping down her wrist. She’s laughing hard, her nose wrinkling, her eyes shut, her cheeks red, her mouth wide open as she grins. He can almost hear her shriek of giggles, with sea birds cawing in the distance.

He smiles, wondering what had caused to her look this happy.

“Times up!” Jenny cheers, causing Lars to jolt and fumble with his phone. “Give me your best shot.”

Buck turns his phone to them, displaying a picture of a tiny snail under a big leaf. Jenny tsks.

Sour Cream’s laptop is on Jenny’s page, a photo of Jenny and her twin in matching pink rompers is pulled up. The two girls are hugging in front of a large birthday cake, Jenny pecking a kiss on Kiki’s cheek.

“Aww,” Jenny coos. She taps her friend on his nose. “But you’re still in second place. Lars?”

“Oh, uh,” Lars sputters dumbly. “I didn’t...I mean...”

“Hey, isn’t that Donut Girl?” Jenny exclaims as she peers over to look at his phone. Lars flushes.

“Sadie,” Buck smoothly corrects, though his focus appears to be on thumbing his way through the snail hashtag. “His lady.”

“She’s not my…” Lars tries to clarify, but voice cracks and his tongue feels like lead in his mouth. The painful words won’t come out, and his stomach churns. He doesn’t want to look like a loser, but he also doesn’t want to outright lie to them. “We’re not...”

“That’s so sweet!” Jenny squeals overs his stammering. The cool girl tilts the phone still clutched in Lars’s hand back to get a better look. “She’s such a cutie too. Her cheeks look so pinchable! Alright, you win, Lars. Babe of the night goes to… _Lars’s girlfriend_.”

A liquid warmth spreads through his veins at those last two words. It settles in his chest, but he feels it all over from the tips of his ears to the toes curled in his sneakers. It makes him feel fluttery and light. But it disappears in an instant, leaving his body cold with the truth.

He glowers down at the floor, pocketing his phone.

A few minutes later, someone mentions going out for a snack run. Lars follows the trio out to pile into Buck’s car. He stays silent during the short ride to the store, only partly listening to the retro music and pleasant conversation that’s filling the purple vehicle. Once there, Jenny is giggling and climbing onto Sour Cream’s back. The two run to the candy aisle, while Buck strolls leisurely behind them. Lars straggles after them throughout the store. Pausing in the bread and cracker aisle, Lars turns to the group and rattles off some excuse to go home.

He feels a little stupid for bailing on them. It isn’t often that they want to hang with him, and he’ll probably regret it later. But Lars buys his snacks, awkwardly waves goodbye, and makes the walk to where he feels most at home.

“Lars?” Sadie blinks at him in confusion when he jumps off the bottom step of the staircase leading down into her bedroom. “I thought you made other plans.”

He shrugs, stepping more into her room and shivering. Her basement dwelling is always cold, which is nice since it’s still summer but it’s hell in the wintertime. Lars stills, looking at her all balled up in her bed with her blankets kicked off. He watches her try to fight a miserable looking grimace that contorts her face anyway. Sadie makes a little whiny noise, and sighs when whatever’s ailing her passes.

“I’m not going to be much fun tonight, Lars,” she mumbles apologetically with a pout. “You should go home.”

“You look like death,” he blurts, walking closer in spite of her words.

“Thanks,” she curtly huffs.

“Seriously, though,” Lars chuckles, taking a seat on the bed despite her protesting moan. He watches the way her hand clench at her stomach as she wiggles about to get comfortable again. “What’s wrong?”

She gets red in the face, and swiftly hides in her pillow. Her muffled answer just sounds like more whining to his ears. He pokes her side repeatedly, badgering Sadie to repeat herself. She groans.

“Shark week came in hard today, okay?” the tiny blonde snaps, slapping his probing hand away with a whimper.

“Shark week?” Lars laughs with a raised brow, hand flailing to shake off the sting. She glares up at him, fisting her shirt again with a pained expression. He blinks. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

His nose wrinkles as he makes a face of disgust. Sadie rolls her eyes. Lars chuckles then, digging into the plastic bag in in his hand to pull out a small bag of oyster crackers, sour gummy worms, and a box of chocolate malts. He lays them out by her nose before he balls up the bag, tossing it towards her waste bin like it's a basketball. It misses.

“Take your pick,” he tells her, though he’s already pushing the oyster crackers towards her. It is her favorite snack, after all. “Since mother nature is such a b-word, you can have one of my superior treats.”

She glances at him, her hand reaching out like the paw of a skittish cat to snatch up the crackers and chocolate.

“Just this once though,” Lars jokes. “Can’t spoil ya too much.”

“Yeah, cause you’re rotten enough for the both of us,” she grumbles after she rips open the box of chocolates with her teeth. Lars gasps in mock offense, hand laid on his chest like an appalled southern belle. Sadie ignores his antics in favor of dumping a few chocolatey chunks into her mouth, munching happily. She lets out a delighted little sigh after she swallows. “Thanks.”

“No prob,” Lars responds with a shrug, smiling slightly as he watches her knock back a few more chocolate pieces straight from the box.

“So you’re staying?” she asks him, though the answer is obvious. His shoes have been kicked off, he’s stolen her biggest pillow for himself as he eases fully onto the bed to lean back on the headboard, and he’s picked up the remote control to turn on the TV. “Even though we can’t do...um _stuff?_ ”

“ _Stuff?_ ” Lars repeats, pretending to be scandalized. “And here I thought you had invited me over to have a nice evening as friends, when really you were trying to trap me in your little sin dungeon here.”

“Oh, hush,” she chuckles, playfully shoving his arm. Sadie then blinks up at him. “But you really don’t mind?”

Lars shakes his head with a shrug. He’s actually kind of relieved. It’s been a month since his brief encounter with being bare inside her. He had grown a little paranoid when the internet failed to give him a conclusive answer on rather or not precum could get a girl pregnant. And besides, it’s not like they’ve never hanged out without doing _stuff_   before.

“Nah, I mean… It’s whatever.”

She smiles that tiny grin of hers that’s pure sweetness, and Lars turns his sights to the television so she wouldn’t see him blush. He flips through the channels at lightning speed, looping through the stations at least three times before he settles on a baking competition show. They ease closer together as they watch. The pad of his forefinger, soft and timid, runs along the back of her hand inquisitively until their brushing fingers interlock. Lars bites back a grin.

“He’s trying to make ice cream? Now? Oh my god,” Lars yells at the screen a little while later, exasperated. “You’re an idiot! Just plate the cake.”

Sadie chuckles next to him, but it dies quickly and the warmth of her fingers leaves his. Lars looks down to see she’s curling herself up in a fetal position again. The tiniest whimper of pain escapes her. Lars frowns sympathetically.

“Does it really hurt that bad?”

If he didn’t sound so genuinely concerned, Sadie might have felt compelled to snap at him. Instead, she just nods.

Hesitantly, he pushes her hand that’s clutching her stomach away. He slips under her shirt, his palm pressing gently on her lower abdomen. Sadie breath hitches. He flinches and lessens the pressure, but doesn’t remove his hand. He looks at her almost shyly.

“Am I making it worse?”

She shakes her head. Lars’s hand is blissfully warm on her cool skin, and the comforting circles he starts caressing into her makes her tense body relax. But he’s essentially rubbing her ‘baby fat’.

Sadie squirms under his attention. She attempts to suck in her gut, but another cramp hits her and she suddenly doesn’t care about her belly’s lack of flatness. Her hand clamps over his, forcing his warm palm to bare down into her flesh. He kneads it carefully, and Sadie moans softly in relief.

His face heats up at the sound.

The longer he’s touching her, the tighter his pants start to feel. He can’t help it. Her skin is so smooth and soft, like silk or satin. And she’s so… so… He’s not even sure what, but she’s making his insides all jittery even though he’s never felt more calm. It’s a strange mix.

He actively fights the urge to dip his hand lower into the waistband of her sweatpants. Doing _stuff_  while she’s on her period would normally sound gross to him. And it still does, except...Maybe not as much as it had a few minutes ago?

He shakes the thought away.

“Feel better?” he asks when the show goes off, another episode about to start.

“Kinda. Would you rub my back?”

“Kay.”

She rolls onto her stomach, shifting about and resting her chin on her hands so she can keep watching the show. His hand slides back under her shirt, running up and down her spine. Eventually he presses his knuckles into her back and firmly rolls his hand until it's the heel of his palm working into her tense muscles, in a similar motion of how he kneads fresh dough. Sadie hums a pleasant sound, mumbling that it feels good. Lars smiles victoriously, repeating his ministrations.

“Dang, how many times is this guy gonna mention his restaurant has four stars?” Sadie mumbles sleepily as the competition show goes into the second round.

“Four stars on Yelp, maybe,” Lars snidely comments. “Look how lopsided that cake is! And the icing technique? _Flawed_.”

She hums a soft sigh-like laugh in agreement, and dozes off a minute later. Lars smiles at the sound of her snores, his hand still massaging her lower back. He turns on the closed captioning before he turns down the volume.


	4. Summer III

“I’m going to do the grocery shopping tonight,” Sadie’s mom shouts cheerily. Sadie looks up at the ceiling of her bedroom in the basement, knowing her mother is in the process of heading off to work. “So if there’s anything you want to add to the shopping list, now is your chance.”

“I can do the shopping!” Sadie calls out, standing up from her spot on the floor as if it’ll help her voice carry up to her mother. She’s off today, with no plans beyond hanging out with Lars later tonight. There’s no reason her mom should have to go to the store after running around Beach City all day delivering mail. “Just leave the list on the table!”

“Okay! Thanks, sweetie! There’s a snack in the fridge for you!” she hollers back as a farewell.

“Mom, you don’t have to keep making me...” Sadie gives up on the sentence, taking a deep breath before yelling to the ceiling again. “Okay! Have a good day!”

“You too!” her mother chirps, and Sadie can hear her footsteps fade as she goes to the front door. “And your boyfriend’s here!”

Her boyfriend?  

Sadie’s cheeks flame. How many times did she have to awkwardly explain to her mom that Lars wasn’t her… Oh, crap! Her mom just called Lars her boyfriend in front of him.

A wave of panic washes over her as she listens to Lars’s rapidly approaching footsteps. How is she suppose to explain what her mother just said?

Turns out, she doesn’t have to.

Lars bounds down the steps and dashes towards her so fast that Sadie jolts back in fear of him barrelling into her. Instead, Lars comes to a screeching halt, using his momentum to grab her face with both hands and pull upwards. He overwhelms her with a heated kiss. It’s quick, but it melts her all the same. Sadie has to clutch at his arms when he pulls away, just to keep herself steady.

“You are the best friend _ever_!” he shouts, shaking her in excitement. “It’s so kickass! I can’t believe you got it for me!”

Lars smacks another quick kiss on her lips, releasing her with a giddy laugh. He’s hopping in place, grinning like a maniac. He’s so jubilant, he’s practically vibrating.

“Wha-what?” Sadie blinks dumbly, feeling lost as her mind begins to clear away the fog brought upon by his steamy kisses.

“C’mon, c’mon!” Lars yanks her towards the stairs, her feet barely touching the ground as he excitedly guides them through her house. “I rode it over here!”

The front door is pretty much kicked open, and then it clicks in her brain what has him so over the moon. Parked outside her house is a stylish red and black vespa scooter. The motor scooter is an older model that once belonged to one of Sadie’s cousins who never used it. Having seen Lars longingly scroll through pictures of pricey motorcycles and vespas on his phone, Sadie thought it would make a good birthday present when her uncle in Jersey called asking if she wanted some of the things cluttering his garage.

It arrived a week early.

Seeing it in person, sleek and polished unlike the dusty thing it had been in the pixelated photo her uncle had emailed to her, the gift now seems a bit more extravagant than Sadie had initially thought. Too extravagant for someone who you’re technically _‘just friends’_ with to give, anyway. Yet, Lars doesn’t seem to notice her faux pas as he circles the vehicle in boyish delight.

He hops on it, striking a casual bad boy pose that he can’t hold for more than five seconds because he’s bursting with too much joy not to squeal and bounce.

“Well, happy early birthday,” she softly giggles. She’s never seen him this hyped before...Well, at least not with all his clothes on. She almost feels bad it came so early. She doubts his actual birthday can top how he’s feeling right now.

Lars beams at her, scooting up and patting the little space behind him.

“C’mon, let’s go somewhere!”

“Lars,” she laughs, and shakes her head at him. “I’m still in my pajamas.”

He blinks, knitted brows causing that little crease to appear on his forehead as he seems to only just realize she’s standing barefoot on her lawn in a baggy black sleep shirt and rolled up sweatpants.

“You look fine.”

“Lars!”

“Ugh! Fine, okay,” Lars huffs, but his ecstatic grin takes hold of his face a split second later as he swings his long legs over the seat of the scooter and stands up. His hand cups her shoulder as they walk back inside. “Get dressed, and then we’ll --”

“Go to the grocery store.”

“Go to the grocery… Wait. Really?” Lars stalls, glancing at her weirdly when she nods. He rolls his eyes, the hand on her shoulder lowering to her back as he gently pushes her toward her room. “You’re really sucking the cool out of this fantasy, Sades.”

“Fantasy?” Sadie laughs teasingly, her brow raising at him. Lars just grins.

“Yeah. Me looking like a bad ass on my ride, cruising the streets with a hot babe behind me.”

Sadie laughs, but she can feel her cheeks warm as she descends the staircase into her room. Lars is right behind her, letting out a fake mournful sigh.

“Sadly, all the babes I know were busy,” he proclaims dramatically in the doorway, “so you’ll have to do.”

“Ugh,” Sadie scoffs, rolling her eyes at the teasing, lopsided grin on his face. She pushes him, and he laughs as he stumbles back a few steps. “You’re such a jerk.”

Lars just shrugs, his smile widening as he playfully smacks her ass. “Whatever, _babe_. Hurry up and change, so we can go riding.”

Sadie ignores the tingly sensation that zings through her. She swats his offending hand away when he tries to pat her bottom again, though she’s unable to fight off the silent giggles bubbling in her as she does her best to give him the stank eye.

“Don’t call me babe now. You’ve tainted the word.”

Lars just smiles innocently back at her, leaning against the wall.

Sadie walks over to her dresser then, pausing a moment when she realizes Lars isn’t going to leave the room while she changes.

She’s not wearing a bra under her shirt. It’s just more comfortable to fall asleep without it. She blushes with him standing there, watching her expectantly as his foot impatiently taps the floor.

She knows she’s being kind of silly. He’s seen her naked probably a hundred times by now. Still, she modestly turns her back to him when she strips off her night shirt. Tossing it towards her hamper, Sadie puts on a lavender sports bra as quickly as possible before wiggling into the first shirt her hand makes contact with in her dresser.

She frowns when she realizes she just slipped on the white lace crop top her mother had ill advisedly bought for her. It’s a cute top, truly. And it does look nice on her, but Sadie just didn’t have the confidence to wear it out the house.

Lars is so eager to head out. She doesn’t want to be annoying by using more time to change into something else, but… Sadie glances at Lars over her shoulder to tell him to be patient as she changes yet again. However, when met with his blushing face, Sadie just smiles and decides to keep the shirt on.

The sweatpants are kicked off, and high waist black shorts are tugged on. She brushes down her flyaways, and steps into her red flats before sending Lars a grin to tell him she’s done changing.

He smirks back at her, eyes dancing over her frame appreciatively as he nods.

“Cool. Let’s go.”

“Wait,” Sadie stalls. “Won’t you need a lock or something when we park?”

“I dunno.” Lars shrugs. “It’s not a bike. I think we’re good.”

Sadie frowns with uncertainty, and goes about her room to rummage through her things until she’s found what she’s looking for with a triumphant _“ah-ha.”_ She grins as she walks back to Lars who’s still lingering next to the door, and he raises his brow at her.

She hands him an opened pink lock, as well as a black chain. Lars frowns at the little piggy face painted on the pink lock, and only takes the thin linked chain.  Sadie rolls her eyes and pockets the lock just in case.

“We can go riding now?” Lars asks, and he’s grinning large and wide when Sadie nods. She giggles, allowing him to take her hand and drag her up the stairs and out the house once again. “It’s such a smooth ride, Sades. It’s so awesome.”

He glances at the chain in his hand and then the scooter before he snakes it around his waist through his belt loops. Sadie snorts. The chain belt combined with his ripped jeans and mostly shaved head gave him an exaggerated air of edgy-ness that only worsened when he sat on the motorbike styled scooter.

He squints, a brow quirked up at her.

Sadie shakes her head at him, still softly giggling when she walks around to join him. As she hops on, it occurs to her that he might need a special license to drive around on this thing. Also, shouldn’t they be wearing helmets or something?

But he starts it up with ease, and she forgets to care about safety or possible law breaking when they speed forward. Her arms locked around him, they zip through the streets. Sadie squeaks and holds Lars tighter each time he swerves around people and cars.

The power of the motor hums beneath her. She knows it’s not as powerful as a motorcycle, and she’s been in cars driving faster than they are right now plenty of times. Yet, there’s something almost surreal about _feeling_ the engine vibrate with life as it softly purrs, her heart thumping to a wild beat, her front pressed fully to Lars’s back as they fly down the smooth asphalt, sun shining on their heads with wind whipping through their hair. She feels effervescent.

Bubbly giggles naturally flow out of her. She can hear Lars laugh with her, his hand patting her fist that’s clutching a handful of his shirt before he takes a sharp corner.

They don’t slow down until they reach the store’s parking lot.

Sadie’s skin is buzzing with lingering excitement when they park. Lars must be experiencing the same effects from the ride because he’s grinning like an idiot again, bouncing as he frees the chain from his belt loops to loosely tie it around the pole of the cart station next to them and the front of the scooter.

He smirks when he looks down at her, and his hands smooth over her wind blown hair. Sadie whispers her thanks, and he shrugs to say it’s not a big deal. Lars then blinks, his hand flying up to his own hair to fret over any possible stray curls. Sadie chuckles, tugging on the hem of his shirt so he’ll bend down so she can return the favor. She sweetly pats his cheek when she’s done. But her hand lingers on his face for a moment, and Lars’s eyes dart to her mouth. Sadie unthinkingly licks her lips, a tiny thrill shooting through her when his eyes follows the movement of her tongue.

Is he going to… Are they going to kiss? Here? Out in the open where anyone can see them? The thought makes the fading buzzing sensation return to her skin, her insides all aflutter. But Lars blinks and blushes before he stands up straight, forcing her hand to drop away from his face.

He quickly and silently takes her hand, however, dashing away most of her disappointment as they walk into the store together.

Sadie grabs a shopping cart from the line at the entrance, rolling it back and forth for a second to make sure it doesn’t have a squeaky or broken wheel. Lars steps up on the brim of the undercarriage as she does this, leaning forward and looping his long fingers into the side grates of the cart. Grinning obnoxiously at her, he looks every bit a spoiled brat as he waits for her to push his weight around the store.

She can easily picture him doing this as a small child, smiling with a head full of bushy hair as he rides on the edge of the metal cart while his mother flips through coupons, and the mental picture is almost cute enough for her to indulge him. Almost.

“Off,” Sadie commands, fighting a smile. Lars pouts. She snaps her fingers at him. “Now.”

“Fine,” he pretends to sulk as he steps off the end of the cart, and crosses his arms. “You’re no fun, _mom_.”

“Oh, hush. If you’re good, I’ll buy ya some candy.”

“Oh?” He chuckles, following behind her when Sadie pushes onward. “And what if I’m bad? Ya gonna spank me, mommy?”

“Maybe,” she playfully threatens, but then her nose is wrinkling as she giggles and shakes her head. “Okay, this little joke ends now before it gets any weirder.”

Lars grins wickedly as he bends down to whisper suggestively in her ear, “You can call me daddy.”

Sadie immediately shoves his cheekily grinning face away with a scoff like laugh. “Ew. No, thanks.”

Lars sniggers. Sadie turns away to pick up a dozen of eggs, opening the carton to check that none of the shells were cracked before carefully placing it in the cart. Lars follows her around the aisles, occasionally pointing out better brands and options only for them to have small quarrels over price vs. quality. He wins on most, but Sadie puts her foot down when it comes to seasonings.

“All salt tastes the same, Lars!”

Lars sucks his teeth at that. Sea salt is obviously superior, but he still reaches for the bargain brand iodized salt on the higher shelf for her, and she hums a little tune as she pushes the cart.

He soon grows bored in the produce section as he stares at the wooden crates of fruit while Sadie bags up some bananas.

Lars picks up a peach. He idly tosses it in the air a few times like it’s a baseball, letting it fall back into his hand only to flick his wrist and toss it back up again. Sadie sends him an amused look before turning her gaze back to the shopping list in her hand. Lars catches the peach midair, and smirks.

“Hmm.” Lars gives the peach an experimental squeeze, pretending to be in deep thought as he glances around them. No one is nearby or looking in their direction, so his free hand gropes a handful of her perfectly round ass as he squeezes the peach yet again for comparison. “Soft yet firm.”

Sadie nearly yelped, jumping away from his touch and spinning around so fast to smack his chest that Lars barely has time to lift his arms in a defensive stance. An apology spills from his lips, but it’s mixed with laughter. Her face is so red! Her little button nose is all scrunched up in annoyance, and she looks so adorable. He couldn’t help himself. He pecks a kiss on the tip of her nose.

Her pinched expression relaxes into one of silent awe, round eyes blinking owlishly at him. Lars swiftly turns away as he feels his own cheeks flame, biting into the peach just to distract himself from the anxious bubble that’s bursting in his chest. The sweetness on his tongue does little to help though.

He nervously awaits for her to question the action, ask why he’s being so affectionate in public, or maybe remind him that casual pecks weren’t a part of their arrangement. Remembering her look of utter confusion when he unthinkingly smacked kisses on her mouth back at her house earlier only makes his insides knot up all the more.

However, Sadie just touches her nose. The tip of her finger brushes over where his lips had been, and then she gives him a tiny smile before pushing the cart onward. Lars follows behind her, smiling softly in relief as he takes another bite of the peach before placing it bitten face down back into the wooden display crate.

“So how much longer are we gonna be in here anyway?” he asks, wiping the back of his hand across the sticky juice on his mouth before rubbing it off on his jeans. “This is mad boring, Sadie.”

She shrugs, pulling the list out her pocket to give it another once over.

“There isn’t much left. It’ll be quicker if we split up,” she tells him as she carefully rips the shopping list in half. She hands him the scrap of paper, and he glances over the tiny words written in her mother’s loopy cursive. Lars frowns.

“I can't even read this.”

“It’s like four things, you’ll figure it out,” she tells him, and he almost laughs when she starts to walk off only to double back to him. “Actually, I’ll just read it to you.”

Once she says the words aloud, the squiggles on the page seem a little more legible to him. Nodding his comprehension, the two young adults part ways.

Lars starts grabbing things, soon realizing that holding a sack of potatoes doesn't leave much room anything else in his arms. So he goes back to the front in a huff, picking up a plastic shopping basket to dump his items into.

When he’s done, Lars peruses the length of aisles at a glance, feet moving at a speedy rate as his eyes look for a flare of blonde curls standing two inches off the ground. Lars grins when he finally spots her by the pancake mix, but his steps falter when he sees she’s not alone.

It’s just a store employee, probably just asking if Sadie needed help with anything, but… The guy is smiling way too naturally, not at all like the fake one plastered on for customer service work. Lars glares at the employee, not liking the way the guy openly lets his gaze sweep over Sadie’s curves.

“You sure you don’t need help with anything else?” the employee asks, and the flirtation in his tone makes Lars’s hands ball up into fists. “Lot of tall shelves I can reach for you. Could be your personal assistant shopper.”

“Is that a new service?” Sadie questions, and Lars can’t tell if she’s genuinely asking or not. She’s looking at the box in her hand, though. Completely unaware that the man in front of her is giving her bedroom eyes. “Will I get charged an extra twenty bucks at the checkout, or something?”

Dear lord, she’s genuinely asking. Is she really that oblivious?

“Nah. For you, it’s free.”

“Uh.” Sadie blinks in confusion as she puts the box of pancake mix into her cart. She shakes her head. “Thanks, but I’m good.”

“Well maybe you can help me?”

“Huh?” she asks, finally looking at the employee who’s cheesing in a way that Lars is sure the guy thinks is swoon-worthy.

“By giving me your number.”

“Oh!”

Finally realizing she’s being flirted with, Sadie’s eyes widen, her cheeks turning pink as a surprised laugh bubbles out of her. Her head shyly lowers, her lips mouthing the word _wow_ , her fingers twisting into her yellow curls. And Lars’s racing heart feels like it’s seconds away from plummeting to his feet.

There’s absolutely nothing stopping her from giving this dude her number.

Lars already knows that this agreement they’ve set up isn’t meant to last forever. The realization had randomly dawned on him a few weeks ago actually, and he had spent that night glaring up at his ceiling. He had pushed the thought away for the most part so he could sleep, thinking he had plenty of time to worry about it later. But shit, what if this is the beginning of the end?

His guts burn as it knots up at that thought. His fists clench tighter, his fingernails digging into the palm of one hand while the rough edges of the basket handle cuts into the other.

Whatever… _Whatever!_ He doesn’t care. He really doesn’t fucking care, Lars tries to convince himself as he bites down hard on the inside of his cheek.

But there’s really no denying the utter and complete relief that surges through his body, however, when Sadie starts shaking her head at the stranger. She shyly whispers her apologies to the man wearing a nametag that Lars doesn’t bother to look at. She sort of bumbles her way through expressing her disinterest, obviously trying to let the guy down easy. But her lack of rudeness seems to come off as _just try harder_ to the employee.

Lars decides to march over then, stopping right behind her so his arm can oh-so-casually -- _needlessly_ \-- reach over her to drop the hard plastic basket into the cart with a loud _thunk_ that rattles the metal cart. He can feel Sadie tense at his initial touch, his front brushing her back. But she quickly realizes it’s him and relaxes. If she’s wondering why he’s lingering so close behind her, knees bumping the back of her upper thighs while his elbows bracket either side of her to rest on the shopping cart’s handle, she doesn’t seem bothered by it.

“You done with your half, wifey?” Lars asks her, dropping his cheek on the crown of her head. Lars is glaring at the employee, who blushes stupidly before awkwardly nodding at them in farewell. Lars’s lips twitch up in a devilish smirk when the guy finally walks away.

Sadie snorts. “Yeah, I’m done.”

“What?” Lars squints at her little laugh as she starts pushing the cart towards the front of the store. He stumbles forward a few steps, as he had been leaning his weight on her, but quickly finds his balance and catches up to her. Sadie rolls her eyes at him, but she’s smiling.

“You’re ridiculous.”

“What?” he huffs incredulously. “I didn’t do anything!”

“Whatever, Lars,” she giggles as she stops in front of self checkout. “Also, don’t call me wifey. You’ve tainted that nickname too.”

“What? When?” he laughingly scoffs.

Sadie pins him with a look, mainly because she isn’t able to conjure up an example off the top of her head. But she knows he’s called her that a few times before, usually in a playfully mocking manner that made her cheeks burn.

“Just know it’s tainted.”

“Oh?” he chuckles, handing her items from the cart so she can ring it up. “What about P-2?”

“Oh, that one’s definitely dead,” Sadie firmly declares, despite the little flip in her gut that comes with hearing that particular petname. It reminds her of that night they first played a video game together, the first time she spent the night night at his place, and the first time she got a glimpse at how great of a person he really is beneath the grumpy exterior. That night also happens to be the first time they had kissed. But that was over a year or so ago, and nothing had came of it. Until now.  “I think you should just stop giving me nicknames.”

“Never, _Sades_.”

“Hmm. I’ll give that one a pass,” Sadie declares as she bags her groceries, giving Lars a tiny grin when she turns to take whatever he’s holding out for her to ring up next. “But only because it’s barely an alteration of my name.”

“Cool, so it’s settled then. You’re officially Sades… Miss Miller, if ya nasty.”

“Oh my god, Lars!” Sadie merrily squawks, loud and high pitched, and Lars beams with pride from making her laugh like that. It’s such an ugly sound, but he loves it. That pure mirth twinkling in her eyes, her cheeks rounding from her large grin, her dimple flashing… It’s fucking beautiful. She shakes her blonde head at him, giggling more normally now. “Nope, I take it back. No more nicknames.”

“Pfft, we’ll see about that,” Lars challenges as he gathers most of their bags. Sadie’s only response is a small snort, and they make the short trek to the parking lot.

“Oh. Seems we didn’t quite think this through,” Sadie laughs weakly as her eyes dart from the bags in their hands to his scooter. “We should probably hook a basket to it in the near future.”

“Sadie, this is not a little girl’s tricycle. I am not putting a basket on my new ride. It’ll ruin my aesthetic,” Lars says firmly, taking the bags she’s holding and looping all the groceries on the handlebars. Sadie rolls her eyes. Lars quickly undoes the chain tied to their transportation and puts it around his waist once more. Sadie joins him on the little seat once he’s hopped on. Their weight plus the copious bags on the handlebars causes the wheels to sink low into the ground. Sadie makes a small noise of uncertainty, but Lars appears unbothered. “This’ll be fine.”

“If any of my food ends up on the street, Lars, I swear,” she mildly threatens as her arms links around his middle.

Lars scoffs. “Don’t you trust me?”

“Yes,” she begrudgingly admits, dropping her forehead to rest on his back as he cranks the scooter to life. “But just barely.”

He chuckles, and they pull off from the parking lot.

Though there were a few close calls, they do manage to get back to Sadie’s without losing any of the groceries. Lars helps her put away the food, only needing to ask once where something needed to go. Sadie silently smiles at that.

When the last plastic bag has been emptied, balled up and stored into another bag that hangs next to the spice rack, Lars is already chittering about going back out to ride around the city some more. Sadie laughs, but immediately agrees.

So they speed around town on his scooter for about an hour, waving at people they know when spotted. It’s fun and relaxing, and Sadie feels pleasantly sluggish when they ease to a stop in front of Lars’s yard.

After the scooter is securely put away in the garage, they stroll to his kitchen. Lars rummages through the fridge. In such a good mood, Lars doesn’t even notice he’s humming one of Sadie’s silly pop songs before he announces that he’ll cook them something for lunch. Sadie nods and sits at the table, resting her head in her hands as her lidded eyes watch him mutter to himself as he goes over his options of ingredients.

“Grilled cheese and tomato soup?” he tosses the suggestion over his shoulder. Sadie shrugs. _Eh_. Lars nods in agreement. “Hm. Could get fancy and make pizza cups. The cupcake pan might not be clean, though.”

“I’ll wash,” Sadie offers.

“Sweet.”

Lars takes out the leftover biscuit dough he had whipped up over the weekend, some shredded cheese, garlic butter, pizza sauce, and ground beef. He playfully smacks Sadie’s hand away when she moves to help, and he smirks when she slightly pouts.

The cupcake pan is already clean, hidden under the sink with the rest of his baking tins. So it doesn’t take too long to get everything prepped and cooked. The aroma in the air made their mouths water, and they happily gorge themselves on the buttery, cheesy perfection that is Lars’s pizza cups the moment the pan was cool enough.

He washes it down with a sugary energy drink, and Sadie does the same by stealing swigs from his can.

They chat mindlessly while Sadie cleans up the kitchen, and they laugh at silly inside jokes as they make their way up to his bedroom.

It’s warmer up here than the rest of the house, but Sadie still feels comfortable as she toes off her shoes. Sadie then flops down on his bed, frowning when something jabs her unpleasantly. Sadie digs out the lock in her pocket so it’s no longer poking into her. She sighs happily, wiggling deeper into the top of the red comforter. Lars divests himself of the chain in his belt loops and kicks off his own shoes before he swiftly joins her on the bed. He snuggles into her middle, curling up between her legs to lay his head on her stomach.

“Comfy?” she asks with a wry smile. He grins back up at her, nose nuzzling up the soft curve of her belly, making the frilly hem of her shirt ride up.

“Mmhm. Soft and squishy.”

Sadie’s nose wrinkles at that. Lars chuckles and hides his face in the lace of her top when her hand comes down to smack his shoulder.

“It’s a compliment,” he defends after propping his chin up above her belly button. Sadie rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling again as she spins the opened lock around her finger.

“Just when I thought your flirting couldn’t get any worse,” Sadie pretends to sigh, shaking her head like he’s a lost cause.

“My flirting game is undeniably on point, Sades,” he quickly tosses back. Lars smirks despite her giving him a less than impressed look. She is in his bed, after all. So obviously something’s working. “Besides, what’s wrong with what I said? Soft is a good thing. Cozy. I could lay here forever.”

“Forever, huh?”

“N-no.” Lars blushes, mentally cursing himself for the tiny slip. He sits up so he can scoff and shrug his shoulders. He flashes her a playful smile then, hoping to God she doesn’t read too much into it. “Sorry, Sades. Now that I got wheels, I’m gonna always be on the move.”

“Oh?” she chuckles with a raised brow, the pink blur spinning around her index finger slowing to a stop. The smooth metal grazes the skin of his cheek before it's weaved through the hole his gauges should be. “Guess I gotta... _lock ya down_.”

Lars groans and rolls his eyes at her terrible joke, the dull clink of the lock snapping in place around his earlobe somehow making the whole thing even more silly. But he finds himself smiling all the same.

She giggles, dropping her forehead to his chest as he shakes his head at her.

“You’re so lame,” Lars teases, chuckling along with her. She lifts her head to playfully stick her tongue out at him, and his grin widens. Her hair had fallen into her face, so his fingers brush back the soft golden curls. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

She blushes almost instantly at that, the creamy skin of her cheeks blooming pink roses. It’s rather adorable. She seems to decide that he’s just teasing her again, though, and swats away the hand lingering in her tresses. But Lars just brings it back, threading his fingers into her hair and pulling her in for a quick kiss. He smiles at the way her eyelids dreamily flutter back open afterwards.

Looking directly into her eyes, so round and dark yet shimmering with light, Lars feels something warm unfurl in his chest. It steals his breath for a second, and his heart thumps harder. He lets his eyes drift closed despite the overwhelming urge to stare at her. Lars tilts his head to slant his mouth over hers.

Her lips are sweet as always. Mixed with the zest of pizza on her tongue, Lars moans and deepens the kiss for a better taste. Her hands grip at his shirt, much like she had during their rides on his scooter today. He desperately wants her hands to explore, to dip under his clothes and caress his skin. He’s burning for it. For her.

The weight of the lock starts to get to him though, and Lars grumbles a muffled whine when he can’t stand to ignore it anymore and he’s forced to break the kiss.

“Get this thing off me, please,” he breathes heavily over her mouth.

Sadie nods with a breathless laugh, reaching for the dial and spinning in the combination. And then...

Nothing.

“Um,” Sadie mumbles warily, fingers no longer fiddling with the lock.

“ _Um_?” he parrots back, brow rising.

She sheepishly glances away, shifting back a little, her tiny smile apologetic.

“You don’t remember the combination!” he exclaims in a panic. “Oh my god! _Sadie!_ ”

“I’m sorry! That lock was on my gym locker during my freshman year in high school,” Sadie rushes to explain. “I haven’t used it in nearly five years.”

“Then _why_ did you put it in my _ear_?” he screeches loudly.

“I dunno! I wasn’t thinking!” Sadie shouts back, freaking out a little. “I was trying to be witty and charming. I mean, c’mon. The pun was just _right there_.”

“Sadie, this thing is going to tear my earlobe in two!” Lars groans in frustration.

“No, it’s not,” she tries to mollify, taking a calming breath for the both of them. “Just...Just hold it up so it doesn’t weigh down your ear so much.”

“Am I supposed to do this forever?” he asks incredulously while following her suggestion, hand cupping the heavy bulb of the lock. “I look like an idiot.”

She snickers, and he frowns all the more.

“Maybe Steven and his ... _aunts?_ can help take it off?” Sadie tosses out as she brainstorms.

“I’m not going outside like this!”

“Well, your parents must have some pliers or wire cutters somewhere,” Sadie suggests, though she’s still mentally composing a text to send Steven. “I could go look for them.”

“Oh, no! I’m not letting you use tools like that near my head.”

“Then I don’t know what to tell ya, Lars,” Sadie sighs, unable to think of any other helpful solutions. “I guess you’re just gonna have to be the guy with a lock in his ear. Sorry.”

“No, _you’re_ just gonna have to try every combination until it unlocks,” he firmly declares. He pulls her forward, and she fumbles into his lap. “Get crackin’, locksmith.”

“Oh, a locksmith! That’s a good idea. We can call one over,” she says, though her hands are once again playing with the lock’s rotary dial.

“No one’s allowed to see me with a pink pig themed lock in my ear,” Lars mutters. “It’s dorky.”

“It doesn’t even look bad,” she mumbles, tugging the lock. No luck. She tries another combination. “Pink looks good on you actually.”

“Whatever,” Lars grumbles, frowning when the lock stays intact when she gives it another tug.

As she starts the process again, Lars shifts his weight a little. Having her in his lap feels good for the soul. Her body heat sinks pleasantly through his clothes to warm his skin, her naturally sweet scent fills his nostrils, and her plush form is beyond cozy. She feels like home, which is kind of a silly thought but... Lars pulls her closer, so she’s a little more snug against him.

Sadie wiggles a bit, adjusting to the new position as she keeps spinning the dial locked on his ear. Her ample bottom presses into him when she does this though, and Lars bites his bottom lip to keep himself from moaning. He briefly wonders if she could feel his semi hard-on twitch in his jeans beneath her. Glancing shyly at her face that's pinched with focus as she gives the lock yet another unsuccessful yank, he figures not.

Squeezing at her sides now, Lars tilts his head to rest his temple on her shoulder. Her arms rearrange themselves to accommodate him, her little hands still at work on the pink lock. A shiver runs down her spine when his tongue laves the crook of her neck. His hot mouth then melds to the curve of it, nibbling gently between wet kisses.

Sadie softly sighs, her eyelids fluttering as the warmth of his mouth seeps into her skin and the tingly heat zings its way down to her clenching core. She tries to shake it off, but...

His lips on her neck is beyond distracting!

Sadie’s fingers unconsciously slow as she turns the lock’s dial. Her head lulls to the side for him, the tiniest moan falling from her parted lips. But Sadie quickly blinks out of the fog attempting to cloud her brain. She hardens her stare on the object at hand, doing her best to ignore the growing need to rub her thighs together to get some kind of friction.

His idle hands play with the lace of her top, eventually sliding beneath it to fondle the strip of skin it left unhidden. She’s pleasantly warm, and velvety soft to the touch. His hands creep higher up her back, into the elastic band of the crop top’s built-in bra. The stretchy white fabric wrapping her chest is the only part that’s not frilly with lace, and thus properly hides her from him.

Sadie hums a small noise of displeasure when she tugs on the lock yet again and it doesn’t come undone. As she tries another sequence of numbers, Lars wiggles his fingers under her actual bra and pushes it up.

“Lars, I’m trying to concentrate,” Sadie chides, coaxing his head off her shoulder.

Her breasts exposed behind the thin waterfall of white lace, the material tickling her puffy nipples into a semi-pebbled state, is an enticing sight for Lars. It just feels weird to Sadie. But he gives her a tiny grin, hands moving to her chest to cup the mounds over the lace. His wide palm and slender fingers kneading the flesh feels nice. _Better than nice_ , she mentally corrects herself with a smile tugging on her lips. So she doesn’t complain when Lars pushes the lace away to flick her nipple with his thumb. The strumming shoots a little lightning bolt through her, heat pooling between her thighs, and causing a nearly inaudible moan to escape her.

He hears it just fine, however. All breathy and colored with lust. The sound makes his stomach swoop. Blood rushes to his ears, but more so to a place much further south.

Lars bites his lip in mild annoyance, one of his hands stopping their pleasing ministrations. Lars shifts beneath her, slightly bouncing Sadie in his lap before his hand comes down between them to adjust his hard-on in his jeans. Comfortable, he brings the hand back to her breast.

“Yes!” Sadie exclaims. It has nothing to do with Lars’s fondling, though. She’s grinning victoriously, holding the lock above his nose on a hooked finger.

“Finally,” Lars mutters before pulling her into a heated kiss. The lock falls onto the bed with a soft thud, and is quickly forgotten.

Clothes are tugged and yanked away in a hurry as their kiss intensifies.

Without preamble, Lars falls back on the bed, bringing Sadie down with him. She smiles into the kiss as the mattress bounces them, but swiftly loses herself once more in the heated feel of lips on hers and the eager caress of his large hand on her backside.

Atop him, their bodies press together in a tangle of warm limbs that has them both drowning in an amorous bliss. The summer sun beaming through the windows and their combined body heat intermingle, a light sheen of sweat already manifesting itself on their flesh as they ardently makeout. Time bleeds away, minutes speeding by unnoticed as their mouths smack and attempt to devour one another. Sadie’s fingers massage his bare scalp in small, sensuous motions. Lars bites and licks her lower lip with ardor.

He then pats her behind in silent command, and Sadie’s face goes red. She knows exactly what he wants, but… She ignores it, kissing him harder as a distraction tactic. He groans into her mouth, and he grabs her full behind with a loving squeeze before he pats it again. Distraction failed.

“Lars,” she breathes out in an embarrassed whine. “Are you sure?”

“Sadie, just sit on my face already,” he groans in mild annoyance, squeezing handfuls of her ass again.

Sadie’s blush deepens.

The first few times they had done that, she had a headboard to hold on to. It made it easier to keep her weight off him, something they hadn’t thought about the last time they did it, which happen to be the first time they’d done that in his room. She had nearly suffocated him, and he complained about a crick in his neck for the rest of the week. She had been so mortified, she never wanted to do it again. But Lars is currently giving her that look that has dripping for it.

“How about _I_ lay down,” she attempts to persuade, “and you can um...”

“Sadie, there are worst ways to die,” Lars flatly tells her. He pulls her forward with a hard yank on her hips, and she slides up his stomach to just below his ribs. The warm, wet trail she leaves on his skin makes him shudder. His voice takes on a husky quality when he begs roughly. “Get _up_ here.”

“Do you not realize how traumatic that would be?” Sadie huffs, but she’s easing up his chest. “Not to mention embarrassing. What will I tell your parents?”

“Tell ‘em to let you put pussy willows on my grave,” he deadpans. “So you can lay that pussy down on me one last time.”

“Lars!” Sadie squawks out that ugly, beautiful laugh of hers that makes Lars grin like an idiot. “Oh my god!”

Sadie, hovering over his clavicle, flicks his nose. Lars’s face screws up from the slight sting, but then he just snickers, hands pulling her the rest of the way. And then his laughter is replaced by a muffled moan that vibrates through her core. Sadie gasps, hips bucking involuntarily, her thighs quaking as she braces her hands on his wall.

Lars tongues featherlight circles around her clit, flicking the bud just enough to make Sadie gasp and grind down, only for him to dart away to prod fluttering licks at her entrance. Sadie groans at his teasing, which only makes him smile as he repeats his actions.

Sadie rotates her hip, chasing the toying motions of his mouth until he relents and lavishes her with the flat of his tongue. She jerks and moans, and Lars grunts from her delicious juices coating his lips. He squeezes at her waist, encouraging the movement of her pelvis as she urgently rocks herself against his mouth, whimpering as she rides his tongue because she’s on the cusp. Her body’s overheating. Her ragged breath turns pitchy. She’s loudly keening his name, her back arching while her fingers scratch at the wall.

Her body starts to shake in the firm hold of his hands, her little orgasm-induced noises fills his ears like a symphony, and his dick is weeping with precum as Lars continues to gently flick over her clit with the tip of his tongue.

Suddenly her laughter, weak and breathy, is filling the air between pleas for him to stop. It feels _too_ good. Sparks are still fizzling the ends of her nerves as he elicits new waves of passion fueled fire. It’s just too much!

Her legs feel like jelly, and Sadie thinks she’s likely to collapse soon as she wobbles with aftershocks. But she’s careful to keep her weight off him, despite him anchoring her down to his attentive mouth. Glancing down at his half hidden and tousled head, Sadie sees his eyes peek up at her. She gasps at the sight of those luminous eyes. Electric thrills and shivers shoot up and down her spine, something in her lower abdomen clenches almost painfully and another bout of heated pleasure starts coursing through her system.

“L-Lars,” Sadie cries out beautifully as all thoughts leave her head once again.

He groans in bliss, licking up every last drop of her arousal, loving the feel of her writhing above him more than anything else in the world. The pure pleasure in her voice? Knowing he made her feel that good? Lars relishes in it.

So Lars whines when she recovers enough to pry his hands off her hips.

Sadie eases off him, flopping down next to him on the bed. He’s not really certain who reaches out first, but the spaces between his fingers are instantly filled in by hers.

“Fuck, you taste good,” Lars mumbles as they both try to catch their breaths.

Sadie’s only response is to lightly smile at him, her entire body already flushed pink. She smiles a little wider though, flashing the pearly whites of her top teeth, when she sees her slick glistening around his mouth and down his chin. He smiles back, almost wickedly, as if he knows the perverted pleasure she got from seeing him like this.

She rolls onto her side, her free hand wrapping around the solid shaft of his erection. Sadie stares at her fingers as she strokes him a few times, smearing the beads of precum around the engorged head and down the flushed shaft, before her gaze darts to his face to see his reaction.

She bites back a face splitting grin as she watches his jaw clench and his left eye twitch, the way it always does at her touch. He swells impossibly in her palm, and her cheeks somehow burn to a deeper shade of red when he huskily whispers her name.

Sadie wiggles down the bed, shifting closer to his waist. Hand still pumping his length, she kisses a path along the jut of his pelvic bone. She feels Lars tense up as her breath washes over the tip of his cock. And then Lars is groaning, slender fingers delving into her curls as the wet warmth of her mouth surrounds him.

He’s salty with precum. The weight of him on her tongue and the sound of his groans does something to her, and she hums with delight. Her walls pulse and clench around nothing. A deep need spikes her blood. And truthfully, the fact that she’s doing this with _him_ , never fails to make her dizzy with emotion. So she moves with gusto, hollowing her cheeks and taking in as much of him as she can.

Lars cranes his neck up to watch her lips dipping to meet her fist halfway down his cock. Her hand works the base while her mouth glides back up to the head, her tongue dragging over the vein on the underside of his cock.

“Sh-shit, ba-- Sadie,” Lars harshly pants when she bobs back down, pink lips stretched perfectly around his girth, sliding down length further, while her twisting hand moves in tandem.

The head of his cock bumps the back of her throat, and she startles slightly. But Lars groans again, deep and loud, and his neck flings back to rest his head on his pillow. He diligently fights the urge to buck into her mouth. Especially when she relaxes, and takes him in completely, the flat of her tongue caressing him as she sucks and hollows her cheeks again.

“F-fuck,” he hisses, body involuntarily jerking. Toes curling, Lars bites his bottom lip and gently tugs at her tresses. She knows this means he needs her to stop. Or else, he’ll...

Sadie’s insides tingle. A part of her wants to keep going, to truly return the favor by not stopping until he’s sputtering declarations of how wonderful she feels as his release spills over her tongue. But when she continues to suck him, Lars tugs her hair a little harder and _pleads_ for her to stop.

So Sadie releases him with a wet _pop_ and one last lick. Lars stutters, his shoulders shaking as his fingers flex. Sadie sits up and their gazes met, blown out eyes clouded with desire. Lars hastily wipes at his face before he brings her up for another kiss. Their distinct flavors mix together on their tongues, and they both moan at the heady taste.

He clings to her, pulling her closer, guiding her on top of him. She needs no further direction. Her knees on either side of his slender waist, Sadie’s soft hand finds the base of his cock, holding him steady as she places him at her entrance. She moans. Her head falling back in ecstasy to his girth stretching her so deliciously.

Lars grunts, and has to close his eyes for a moment.

She’s soaking wet, and her silken walls pulse hotly around him. His stomach flips. His hands caress and fondle her wide hips and thick thighs. She’s so soft. She feels so good. And when his eyes open to see her kind eyes gazing back at him, Lars is overcome with the desire to kiss her. Hold her. Cherish her. His heart skips a beat, and he closes his eyes again in fear she’ll see how deeply he wants her. Needs her.

But he can’t resist opening them again when she starts to move. The view is just simply too incredible. The way her breast bounce and her body jiggles, or how her wild hair sways about as her blushing face twists with pleasure… He openly stares.

His feet plant on the mattress and he rocks his hips up each time she grinds down, causing her body to bounce enticingly as she rides him. But her rhythm is unsteady, picking up pace only to slow down again. And then she stops completely.

“Sades?” he rasps, heart hammering.

“Sorry,” she whispers on a heavy sigh. “My legs are still kind of jello-y from… ya know.”

Lars chuckles, more so with relief than anything to do with pride. He rolls them over, indulging himself in kissing her wherever his lips can reach. The little sigh of happiness that escapes her flutters his insides, and Lars smiles when he kisses her lips and her arms drape around his neck to cradle his head.

Lars pulls back and starts thrusting then, sliding almost all the way out before slamming back in. Her legs widen, and she finds his rhythm quickly, matching him stroke for stroke. Their eyes lock, and the way she’s looking at him, he can almost trick himself into believing that she lo…

_Fuck!_

He grabs hold of her love handles then, beyond fucking enamored by how incredibly soft she is to the touch as he pounds into her with vigor. His fingers press into her skin. His eyes squeeze shut. His forehead rests atop hers, their noses brushing, and her breath tickles his lips and chin. The beds starts to creak loudly with every frantic jerk of his hips.

Sadie’s gasping at the sudden change. Her nails bite into his back, and she’s undulating beneath him, desperately trying to keep up. She’s stuttering out his name, and he presses a bruising kiss onto her mouth. He swallows her moans, and grunts. He peppers more affectionate kisses across her hairline, from temple to temple, and turns his head away because he doesn’t want to face that questioning gaze of hers.

He catches a glimpse of them in his dresser mirror. The image of their tangled limbs is so…

His stomach swoops.

His breath hitches.

Lars bites down on the inside of his cheek. Eyes rolling up to the ceiling, he mentally recites the Big Donut’s menu as he tries to keep himself from cumming too soon.

He’s recently been working on a rule of three, for he deeply wants to ruin her for any other man. If nothing else, he wants to be the one that always made her see stars. So even when she’s moved on to the currently faceless bastard that’ll sweep her away from him in the future, it’ll still be Lars she’s thinking about late at night.

His gaze drops back down to her, and he feels a little breathless. Did she have to be so pretty? Blonde curls starting to stick to her glistening forehead, alluring rosebud lips mouthing half-spoken words, lidded eyes of dark desire staring right at him as she moves her body to match his strokes... Shit, how is he suppose to function?

His thrusts falter for a second, and Sadie makes a small noise of displeasure and bucks up hard. A small laugh, though it’s moreover a puff of air, comes out of him. Lars then buries his face in her neck, focusing on nibbling the tender flesh as he finds his rhythm again. Sadie moans in his ear, and he angles his hips to quicken his pace. He unknowingly adjusted himself to hit a certain spot inside her, and the debauched sounds that came mewling out of Sadie has Lars going bug eyed.

“D-don’t you dare st-stop,” she stutters out when he slows down from the shock. Her nails dig into his flesh when he continues to stall, her pelvis rocking up frantically. “ _Please._ Fuck me, Lars. Please keep fucking me.”

His heart thuds hard in his chest.

Shit, is she trying to kill him?

He grunts, licking her pulse as he tries to keep his angle perfect so he hits that spot each time he thrusts forward. The wanton sounds spilling out of her as she begins to tremble echo beautifully in his ears.

Something inside him unravels when her walls clench and pulse around him. God, she feels so amazing. Hell, _she is_ amazing! He never wants to give her up. Never wants this moment to end even though he’s already teetering over the edge. God, he just… He...

“...love you. _Shit_ , I fuckin’ love you,” Lars hoarsely rambles almost incoherently into her neck, hips still grinding desperately forward while his dick twitches inside her with each hot spurt of his release. “ _Fuck_ , Sadie. _God_.”

His words ring in her ears, vibrating from her very core and nestling deep in her chest. The aftershocks of her own climax rippling through her become even more intense. Her heart jumps in her chest, and pulsates pure elation. Sadie trembles beneath him, nails hooked into his shoulders like it’s a lifeline. She’s gasping for air. Tears water her eyes, and her pleasured moans come out as broken sobs. She falls apart in an entirely different way.

_He loves her!_

“A-are you okay?” she hears Lars tentatively ask her when he’s knocked out of his post-coital high by her crying. Her quivering lips can form no words. All she’s capable of is sniffling and shaky breaths. Lars thumbs away the wet tracks on the side of her face. Even through the blur of her tears, Sadie can see the concern shining in his eyes. “S-Sadie, did I hurt you? Shit. What’s wrong?”

She just shakes her head, and pulls him down so she can wrap her arms around his neck. He stiffens in confusion, but quickly returns the embrace. His weight and warmth is comforting on her. He drops tender kisses on her temple, his arms hugging her tight.

Eventually her breathing evens out. The tears cease, leaving her eyes and cheeks red and damp. Lars, sensing she’s calmed down, lifts up. A worried expression sullens his face as he gazes down at her. He kisses the tip of her nose before rolling off her, his hands quick to pull her to him so they could cuddle. Sadie blinks slowly, suddenly exhausted as she stares at his poster covered walls.

They had never spooned before. After a tryst, they were usually shifting on their clothes as fast as possible before going back to whatever they were doing before. She sniffles, and sighs at the peaceful feeling of his bare chest on her back. His arm snug around her middle, with his hand cupping her breast to feel her heartbeat. His leg is hooked over the swell of her hip. His face is buried in her hair, lips occasionally pressing sweetly on her crown. A serene warmth surrounds her.

“I’m so sorry, Sades,” he murmurs regretfully. “I’ll be gentler next time, I promise.”

He plants a sorrowful kiss on her head before he nuzzles as close as he can to her. Sadie opens her mouth to correct him, soothe him, but her throat is raw. Nothing comes out but a wispy creak. So she shakes her head in hopes Lars would understand. Taking hold of the hand attached to the arm acting as her pillow, she bends it to her so she can press damp little kisses on each knuckle. His fingers twitch with each affectionate caress of her lips. Her eyes shut, and she dozes off holding his hand.

She awakes just a few hours later.

They had drifted apart in their slumber, but barely so. He’s still right next to her, just no longer wrapped around her. She takes in his relaxed face, the steady rise and fall of his chest, and the frizzy tuft of hair atop his head. His tan skin is blemish free, and his dark lashes look long and boyish on his cheeks. Lars almost looks angelic.

The thought makes her softly snort, and she rolls her eyes at herself. But looking at his face again, something warm flitters in her chest. It floods through her, tingling her fingertips and her toes. And she suddenly remembers Lars crying out his love for her.

Her lips grace his in a soft, chaste kiss. She pulls back to see the corners of his mouth pull into a dopey smile. Sadie grins, heart all a flutter as she awaits his eyelids to lift so he could look at her again. Then she can tell him she feels the same as him.

However, his eyes remain closed. A quiet, nasally snore erupts from him, and Lars rolls over in his sleep until his back is to her.

Sadie sighs softly.

It’s late. Though she’s technically an adult and her mother wouldn’t make a big deal out of Sadie coming home the next day instead, Sadie decides she doesn’t want to fret her mom. Besides, running into Lars’s parents as they come home from their night shifts doesn’t sound appealing at all.

So she eases out of Lars’s bed. Tiptoeing around the room, Sadie slips on her clothes as she finds them. She pauses when she finds her shorts, but not her underwear. She scours the room for a long minute, but her powder blue panties are nowhere in sight. She steps into the black denim without them, mentally grumbling that Lars needs to straighten up his cluttered room. With her shoes on and his windbreaker she’s commandeering for the walk home zipped up, Sadie glances at her sleeping friend.

Should she leave a note?

Sadie didn’t feel like searching for a pen and paper in his pigsty, so she fishes out her phone and types up a text for him on her way out the door.

 

\---

 

The next day, Lars wakes to the sound of his phone’s alarm loudly buzzing and chirping a tune. He grumbles a few swears as he reaches blindly for it, knocking a few things off his bedside table. Tapping the snooze button, he rolls over to sling his arm around Sadie only for it to hit the bed.

Lars frowns, finally opening his eyes to find himself alone.

Had he dreamed them falling asleep together? He blinks sluggishly a few times, letting the events of yesterday play out in his head. Yeah, she was definitely here when he went to sleep.

Stretching, he sits up with a keening yawn that arches his back. He twists and turns, popping his bones. Glancing around he sees no trace of her belongings, with the exception of the pink lock that his toes knock against after Lars crawls out the bed to start getting ready for work. The little pig face painted on the lock stares up at him, and Lars sucks his teeth before he picks it up. He fiddles with the pig’s nose, the dial softly clicking as he turns it. He smiles at it, suddenly remembering Sadie saying she had used it in high school.

They went to the same school, but he’s younger and had almost been held back a grade. They didn’t have classes together, and he didn’t really know her until he started working at the Big Donut. He kind of wishes they had met sooner though. Maybe high school would’ve sucked less.

Then again, it could’ve sucked more.

At the tail end of sixteen years of age, Lars had started the search for a part time job and walked into the Big Donut to find a set of soft brown eyes that greeted him with genuine friendliness and a tiny smile that made his stomach flip. The short blonde was kind and pretty, and only became more nice and more attractive to him as time went on. Lars didn’t know how to handle that. He remembers scowling at her, acting like an ass when his confusing feelings got the best of him. And she could honestly be a little overbearing at times back then, and his frustration between his stupid crush and her overstepping her boundaries to do what she thinks is best for him… Well, it didn’t always end prettily and they’ve had their squabbles.

Which probably would’ve been a lot worse if it had been his even more insecure, unsure self at fourteen in those situations.

Luckily things seem to have worked themselves out. Countless memories of them --having heart to heart conversations well into the night as she lies with him on his bedroom floor, cheering at the top of their lungs at wrestling matches, texting each other about hardships until the crack of dawn because neither could sleep, snidely adding their dumb commentary to low tier horror films in her dark room, and laughing together through snot and tears when stiff apologies somehow turn into a silly joke contest to expel the awkwardness-- all blur together in his mind. He’s grown a lot since first meeting Sadie, and so has she. Even if he does feel like relationships and the like are a bit over his pay grade, he’s still currently happy with how things are with Sadie.  

So he opens the drawer of his bedside table, tucking the lock inside with his loose change, condoms, and _NOICE_ magazines; before he plucks his work shirt and a pair of ripped jeans out of a pile of clean clothes.

His alarm is going off again when he comes back up from the bathroom, and he makes a beeline towards the phone to turn it off. It’s then he sees Sadie’s text from last night. He smiles at the little goodnight message she had sent him, and pockets the phone.

Lars hops down the staircase, greeting his tired parents with a brief wave as he darts into the kitchen to grab an energy drink. Then he heads out, taking his new scooter out of the garage only to see it’s pretty low in juice. But it should be enough to get him to work and back, so he hops on.

When Lars slinks his way into the Big Donut, Sadie’s already there. She greets him with a big smile.

“Morning, Lars!” she practically yells out, a bit too chipper. The complete opposite of the teary mess she had been when they fell asleep yesterday. Tension he hadn’t even been aware of leaves his shoulders at the sight of her, even as she cringes at the volume of her voice.

“Mornin’,” Lars chirps back. He feels her eyes on him as he goes to clock in, but when he joins her at the counter her gaze darts away from him. His brow quirks up. “What’s up?”

“I...uh. Nothing,” Sadie mutters, wringing her fingers. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes look in every direction but at him for a long moment. But when they do, she smiles so brightly it warms his face. She opens her mouth like she’s about to say something, but nothing comes out except for a nervous squeak. Lars stares at her weirdly, and she shakes her head in response, her blonde curls fanning out. She’s still wringing her hands, the tips of her fingers turning pink. “I just… Heh. Um, later.”

“Okay?” Lars responds warily, his eyebrow still arched up as he cocks his head to the side.

Sadie turns away somewhat sheepishly then, bending down to get to the box filled with bags of coffee grounds. She goes about making a fresh pot just as the first customer of the day comes in the chiming door. They both greet the man, Sadie sneaking little glances in Lars’s direction while he bags up the order. But she sharply looks away when the transaction is done, and Lars frowns at the back of her head.

The morning goes on like that, her not looking him in the eye and nervously jittering about. He raises his brow at her for the millionth time as they walk into the back room, sitting at the tiny break table for lunch.

“What’s up with you?” he asks, helping himself to her bagged lunch since she always offers him half anyway. Lars opens the plastic baggie of apple slices, plopping one into his mouth as his eyes scans over her. He smacks his lips as he chews and swallows. “You’ve been acting weird all day, Sades.”

She nods slightly in agreement before scooting her chair an inch closer to him. She takes a deep breath, and looks at him through her lashes. Lars stares back, his hand delving for another apple slice.

“I… I think we should talk,” she tells him.

Lars’s hand stops dead in it’s tracks at those words. The apple slice pinched in his fingers falls to the table. His back stiffens. He can almost hear a wailing siren go off in his head.

Has a good conversation ever started with those five words? Ice cold pricks his skin, and his eyes squint at her. She antsily bounces from side to side in her seat, chewing on her bottom lip like she’s thinking over her next words carefully. Dread drops like cold lead in his stomach.

“About what?” he asks, hands dropping to his knees beneath the table so she wouldn’t see them twitch and flex anxiously.

“Last night,” she starts off quietly. “You uh… You said you loved me.”

He did?

Lars blinks at her, and then his eyes widen to the size of saucers because… _Shit! He did!_

Oh, God. Had he really spilled his guts out like that?

He tries to laugh it off, but the sound is shaky at best. Shit! Suddenly all her weird behavior today makes sense. He had told her he loved her, and she… She...

Lars bites his lip, his heart rate and breathing picking up speed as anxiety hits him in the gut.

She wants to call it quits now, doesn’t she? Shit! He fucked up. Why couldn’t he just babble nonsense like a normal person when he cums? No, he had to go and blubber about his feelings like an idiot.

He’s not good enough to be her man. She doesn’t want that with him. That’s not what they agreed to. He’s not capable of such things. They both know it. And so she’s here to cut it off. _Fuck!_ How did he mess this up?

“You must have laid it on me good, huh?” he says weakly, trying to salvage the situation with a light joke. She gives him a weird look. Panic floods him. “Look, sometimes guys just… I dunno, say stuff, in the heat of the moment and all that. Sweet nothings. I didn’t… I don’t… It didn’t mean anything, okay?”

“It didn’t?” Sadie asks softly, almost in disbelief.

“No, of course not,” he spits out fast, praying to every deity that will listen for him to be able to convince her. Lars takes a quick, yet deep breath and tries desperately to cool his features. “We’re just… We’re just friends.”

“Right.” Sadie nods, lips pinching together, eyes pointed to the floor. “Obviously.”

A moment of silence descends upon them. The ice maker in the storage freezer noisily clunkers about in the background, and Lars thinks he just might die with each millisecond of Sadie just sitting there with her gaze averted.

“So, um, we good?” he dares to ask when he can no longer take the quiet.

“Yeah,” she says weakly, still not looking at him. Relief floods him a second later though when she finally glances at him through her lashes. The tiny smile on her face doesn’t reach her eyes, but it’s better than the unreadable expression she was wearing earlier. “We’re good.”


	5. Summer IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last day of summer...

Lars digs his toes into the sand. It’s cool and soft with moisture, much like everything else in the early dawn of a September morning. The beach is quiet, deserted of even seagulls at this hour. The fading stars reflect on the ocean, sparkling like diamonds on a dark blue blanket, making the sky look endless. The droplets shimmer around Sadie as she kicks at the waves lapping at the shore. She shrieks and giggles at the cold water each time it hits her bare feet. The sound of her laughter mix well with the gentle hiss of the ocean. He closes his eyes, canting his head back as a light breeze flows over him. He feels weightless.

Lars smiles.

When his eyes open, Sadie’s in front of him wearing a large grin. He feels so light he thinks he might just float away. His toes curl as his feet dig further into the sand in a silly attempt to anchor himself.

Bending down, he drops a quick kiss on her nose. Sadie’s eyelids flutter in surprise, and he’s barely able to make out her cheeks tinting pink in the dim light. His smile widens.

“So now what?” he asks.

Since clocking out of work last night, they’ve been roaming about Beach City, taking turns on deciding where to go and what to do. Lars had wanted to hit up the arcade, so they played every two player game Fun Land had to offer. He made a few crude jokes about her voicing a desire to play Meat Beat Mania, but they used their second to last token on it anyway and he got a good chuckle out of watching her struggle to keep the beat after level three. The last token was used to prove he could do better. Sadie had worn a smug grin when he messed up on level one, resulting in him cursing and kicking the machine.

After about an hour of excited yelling and playfully shoving each other at consoles, they pooled their ticket winnings. Sadie was in charge of deciding what little trinkets to spend them on at the prize booth. She ended up picking out matching glow in the dark skull bracelets for them before giving the rest of their tickets to a small child that happened to wander by.

Lars then chose to get dinner at Fish Stew Pizza, Sadie got to pick all the toppings, and Lars decided where they sat, which was in a booth near the back. Afterwards, Sadie had wanted to stroll down the boardwalk. So they sauntered about aimlessly for hours, playing silly word games and talking about plans for the future that sounded more like fantasies. But, it was rather pleasant to envision that one day they’ll be out of their respective parents’ houses, rich and living it up in a cool loft apartment with giant windows and a golden view of Empire City.

At some point his hand had found hers, and Lars lead them to the beach. Sandcastles made and stomped on, broken seashells found and chucked back into the ocean, their names and curse words scribbled into the sand and washed away by the tide, water too cold to swim in, the sky beginning to lighten… It seemed time to move on to the next adventure.

“I dunno,” Sadie answers around a yawn. “Maybe call it night?”

Lars frowns, but his eyelids do feel heavy and he finds himself yawning along with her. So he nods in agreement.

“Your place or mine?” Lars asks, his toothy grin all kinds of suggestive.

Sadie snorts. “I’m going to my house to _sleep_. You can do whatever you want.”

He sticks his tongue out at her, playfully mumbling that she’s a party pooper. Sadie rolls her eyes and walks off with a laugh, picking her red flats off the ground as she heads in the direction of home. Lars easily catches up to her, scooping up his sneakers and the black sweater he had taken off.

The sun starts to really make itself known now, casting a dull yellow light over them as they reach the wooden bridge that’ll take them off the sandy beach.

They silently knock their shoes against the tiny bridge’s post, dusting away any leftover sand before slipping them back on. Lars shakes off his sweater, but the tiny bits of sand stick to the knitted fibers like magnets. He hisses a curse. Sadie picks a few specks off, but it does little to help.

“It’ll be fine after a wash,” Sadie cajolingly promises, dainty fingers still pinching sand off the sweater before she defeatedly drops her hand back to her side. “And you can always get a new one if not.”

Lars shakes his head, bringing the sweater down to knot the sleeves around his waist.

“No. My lola made this for me,” he grumbles, thumbing the soft threads near the hem. He really hopes he hasn’t ruined it. It’s his coziest sweater. Even if he does look a little dorky in it, there’s something ironically cool about it. Or at least that’s what he tells himself when he dares to wear it out the house.

“Your Lola?” Sadie questions stiffly. He smirks, brow lifting at her tone.

“Yeah, my lola,” Lars chuckles into her hair, slouching down to walk awkwardly in wide, bow-legged strides behind her with his arms snaked around her middle. “As in, my _grandma_.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, _oh_. Geez, Sadie,” he snickers, chin propped up on her crown. “Learn to have some chill.”

“Well, pardon me,” Sadie pretends to huff. “Just thought I’d make sure I didn’t just spend the night gallivanting around with some poor girl’s jerk-faced highschool sweetheart.”

“Not in high school anymore, Sades,” he proudly reminds her, not that he really has to. She attended his graduation, after all. She had cheered when his name was called and everything. His mother even has a photo of them standing outside the high school --him still in his red graduation robes, though his black slacks, red tie, and white button down are visible; beaming wickedly with his tongue out and making devil horns with both hands, while Sadie wears his cap, gold tassle falling into her face as she proudly holds up his diploma like it’s a first place trophy-- framed and displayed on the living room mantle.

“Besides,” he adds on with a teasing grin she could not see, “you’d probably be the first to know when I actually do get a girlfriend.”

Her body goes rigid for a second.

“Right,” she darkly mumbles.

Her shoulders shake him off, forcing Lars to stand up straight. Which is fine, really, since they’ll be passing the shops and restaurants soon and he’d rather not chance the possibility of someone seeing him look like a goofball globbed onto Sadie’s back. But he still frowns at the sudden loss of contact. Gingerly tucking his hands into his pockets, Lars sends her a sidelong glance.

How did the mood shift so fast?

Lars frowns down at his feet for a moment. Things have felt a little off since he had accidentally revealed his hand. It wasn’t anything too noticeably different, or rather not so much that he felt that he could call her on it. Her kisses were still sweet, her touch still soft, her eyes still kind, her words still friendly when they engage in easy interactions. However, there were times, like just now, where her expression becomes unreadable to him.

His frown hardens when a dull ache hits his chest. With a deep breath to help soothe it away, he reminds himself that it only happened a few times. He could literally count those moments where she would pull back or push him away on one hand, and still have a finger or two left over. But an undercurrent of discontent still flows through him.

He’s probably reading too much into it. They’re good. They’re frickin’ _good_.  So Lars shakes off the unease as best he can, and flashes her a small smile.

“But seriously though, who’s place are we going to? ‘Cause I got some new vape flavors we can try.”

Sadie would usually scoff when he mentioned anything to do with the e-cigarette he bought on the off chance of it making him look cool. _“I can’t believe you wasted your money on that,”_ she had said the first time he took it to work, and had proceeded to lecture him on the dangers of smoking, which lead to a debate and eventually a google search on if vaping was healthier or not. Regardless, she had tried it during their lunch break, and hadn’t hated the vanilla flavor tickling her tastebuds before letting a steady flow of smoke billow out her mouth.

When Sadie doesn’t react, he frowns again.

Lars hasn’t used the e-cigarette in months. He’s not even sure if vaping is still hip or not, but the memory of her giggling as they took turns attempting to blow smoke rings had popped into his head the other day and Lars had suddenly found himself purchasing the liquids to fill it.

“Got chocolate and marshmallow flavors. Figured if I mixed it it’ll taste like s’mores,” he continues with a shrug, trying to entice while still appearing causal. He knows she’s never gone a summer without having a s'more. Something to do with nostalgia and camping trips with her mom. And if his little experiment failed, he could always whip some real ones up for her in his kitchen. “C’mon. We can smoke it on my roof.”

There’s something pretty cinematic about the visual of Lars and her sitting on a roof together under the early morning light, scented smoke shrouding them as they share an electric cigar. But Sadie knows a lot of hassle goes into climbing in and out his window. Plus, they both kind of struggle a bit from vertigo. Besides… Sadie yawns and shakes her head.

“I just want to go home and crash, Lars.”

He nods subduedly in acceptance. Chewing his bottom lip, Lars walks with her in silence until there’s a sudden shout stopping them in their tracks.

“Oi. Blondie!”

Both Lars and Sadie turn towards the deep voice. Four college aged dude-bros, one of which is passed out over a keg, sit on the stoop of one of the little houses that tourists rented throughout the summer season. The shirtless group of men wearing backwards caps, and garishly colored swim shorts and sneakers must be on the tail end of their summer vacation. They’re also probably drunk or high from a night of partying, if their hazy eyes and the pile of empty cans and beer bottles littering the usually pristine lawn is any indication. The one that called out to Sadie, the only one that has a healthy amount of hair matting his broad chest, grins when he sees he got her attention.

“Yeah, you. Why don’t ya ditch the twink, and come hang with us?” the stranger shouts brazenly to them, one of his friends making lewd hand gestures while the other made kissy noises at her. Lars bristles, but only glares at the ground in response. “Show ya what a real man can do with all that arse of yours.”

Sadie makes a face, rolls her eyes, and starts walking again with Lars at her heel. The other two dude-bros begin to whoop and laugh loudly at their friend’s rejection.

“Eh. Whatever, bitch!”

Sadie doesn’t look back. She lifts her hand in the air to flip them the bird, but quickens her hard footsteps when their laughter booms. Lars hands clench into fists inside his pockets. His face is pinched in a hard scowl. His insides are burning. He should say something. _Do_ something. But… There’s three of them -- _four_ , if the unconscious one wakes up-- and they’re all bigger with muscles.

That asshole didn’t slur his words nearly enough to be _sloppy_ drunk, and is probably just drunk enough to not care about beating the shit out of someone smaller than him. Someone like Lars…

“It’s your loss, uggo!” the asshole hollers after them.

“Yeah! No one wanted your fat ass for real, anyway!” one of the asshole’s friends laughingly tacks on.

“Ugh! Fuck off already!” Lars shouts back despite himself, spinning on his heel to walk backwards. Hands flinging up in exasperation, Lars glares daggers at them. The men look stunned for a second, but then they’re laughing again. Lars turns back around to glower at his feet. Shoulders hunched, he tucks his hands back into his pockets, muttering to himself. “Bastards.”

“So glad tourist season is almost over,” Sadie grumbles beside him as they walk farther and farther away from the drunken cackles. “It’s too early for this nonsense. Like _wow_ , the nerve of those guys.”

“I should’ve slugged them,” Lars gripes, more to himself than to Sadie. He hates that he hesitated to say something. Hates that he didn’t jump into action to do more. _Such a frickin’ coward..._

“I’m too sleepy for street fights,” Sadie snorts, yawning into her hand a second later to punctuate her point. “Maybe after a nap we can come back and kick their catcalling butts.”

The corners of his mouth twitch up in a tiny, short lived smile. Sadie probably could take those idiots in a fight, if she really wanted to. Lars sighs. He’s so fucking useless. He wouldn’t be of any help to her if they were to act on her joke plan.  

Sadie blinks up at him, her brows coming together when she takes note of his dour face. All the fingers of her hand wrap around his pinkie then, her thumb caressing his palm in wide comforting sweeps. Lars glances down at their hands before her voice causes his gaze to snap to her worried eyes.

“Hey? You okay?”

Lars shrugs. “Yeah. It’s whatever.”

“Is it because of those idiots?” she asks, inclining her head. “Because they’re really not even worth thinking about.”

Lars sighs and nods in agreement. His hand wiggles free of her grasp, only for his fingers to lace up properly with hers. She smiles sweetly at him, and he smiles back.

The rest of the trek back to her house is silent and uneventful. Their fingers stay intertwined.

“You want some breakfast before you head home?” she asks him when she opens the front door. He snorts, squeezing her hand as they walk inside. _Always trying to take care of him._

“You do realize that I’m more than capable of feeding myself, right?” he playfully scoffs. “I literally taught you how to cook.”

“Barely.” Sadie rolls her eyes, but shrugs in acquiescence. “Do you want some food or not?”

“I dunno.” He hums a contemplative sound, glancing up at the ceiling as he pretends to debate it. “Last time you made me something to eat, I got the bubble guts.”

“That was one time, and it wasn’t even my fault!”

“Pfft, how was it not your fault that you used soured milk? If you had been a chef at a restaurant, I could be sitting on a huge pile settlement cash right now.”

“You’re the one that brought that milk over for me to use!” Sadie mock yells, shaking her head at him. She then she grumbles something under her breath. “Worst cooking lesson ever,” is all he’s able to make out. It’s enough to make him chuckle.

“Whatever, Sades.”

Sadie glares up at him, but the amusement quirking up the corners of her mouth softens it. He grins down at her, and her hint of a smile widens into a real one. But then she blinks and looks dejectedly at the floor with a silent sigh. Lars’s smile wanes at that, and disappears completely when she takes a small step back.

“So, breakfast?” she asks again.

Breakfast does sound good. Seeing as he didn’t have any energy reserved to cook anything when he got home, and his parents-- nanay laid up with stomach pains while his dad is probably just arriving home himself from a late night shift-- are most likely skipping the morning meal for sleep.

Lars opens his mouth to respond but a thump from somewhere inside the house catches his attention. He instantly knows it’s her mother, most likely getting ready for work. He frowns slightly, not looking forward to Barb making well meaning comments about improving his hair or posture or career goals or whatever the fuck else. She’s definitely going to be the type of mother-in-law that’ll buy him fertility vitamins and loose fitting jeans for Christmas to help in the effort of gifting her with grandchildren whenever Sadie’s old enough to get hit with baby fever. It’s so uncomfortably embarrassing.

Not that he thinks that far ahead into the future, or anything. And, despite Steven’s annoyingly insistent stance on the subject, Lars certainly does _not_ think about him and Sadie ever getting marri…

Lars can feel his face heats up, the butterflies that have taken residence in his stomach making themselves known as he unthinkingly rubs the pad of his finger over the knuckle of her bare ring finger. He swiftly drops Sadie’s hand. His hand twitches. Lars’s palm instantly misses the warmth of hers. He frowns at himself. _Stop being so frickin’ pathetic._

Sadie follows his gaze to the noises her mother’s making from the master bedroom, and snorts softly in understanding.

“You can hide in my room while I fix you something to-go, if ya want,” she offers and Lars immediately nods to take her up on it. Sadie snorts again, shaking her head as he tiptoes as fast as possible towards the staircase leading to the basement.

Properly hidden away, Lars leans on Sadie’s door instead of going in.

He pulls out his phone to idly scroll through social media as he waits. Lars taps the heart button as he likes a picture that was posted sometime yesterday of Buck wearing a red helmet with a wooden baseball bat slung over his shoulder. Lars likes another picture of Jenny posing like a badass with the same bat, a pink bubble blowing out her mouth, and a crisp jersey buttoned down her curvy frame. There’s also a video of Sour Cream pitching to Buck with Jenny laughing and commenting in the background about how bad they were at the sport ( _“...but ya’ll look cute though.”_ ).

There’s another short video of them dropping light brown pellets into the sea, Jenny making little squeamish noises while Sour Cream laughingly says something that the phone’s mic didn’t quite pick up because of a sudden gust of wind. Shimmering scales then flash beneath the water’s surface as fish come up to eat. Lars can barely make out Buck saying _‘beautiful’_ before Jenny laughs, and the camera spins to focus on the girl who’s smiling face is squished between the two boys kissing her cheeks. There’s a lot of comments under this particular post, one being left by a username Lars didn’t recognized that said: _gorgeous._ _can’t wait to see it person_. Lars squints at that, but keeps scrolling.

Apparently the Cool Kids had spent yesterday at the batting cages before going to visit Sour Cream’s step-dad on the dock. Or possibly the other way around, as the timeline on his feed wasn’t always in chronological for some dumb ass reason.

It looked like they had a fun time. Lars sucks his teeth. Buck had sent him a text inviting him along yesterday, but Lars had to work. As tempting as it was to fall back into old habits by ditching his job for a bit of fun, Lars settled on making plans to hang with the trio on his next off day.

Lars glances at Sadie as she descends the steps with a bottle of water in hand.

He didn’t stop at any point last night to take videos or snap selfies with Sadie. He kind of wish they had. Not to post online and prove that his day wasn’t completely boring, because even though it had been fun, last night is something he’d rather keep to himself. Most of the time he spends with Sadie are filled with little moments he wouldn’t want to share with anyone else.

However, it would be nice to have a photo of when Sadie sat next to him on the beach last night, looking cute with his sweater draped around her shoulders because the salt water air felt a bit too chilly as they counted stars. It would be even nicer to have a video of them walking down the boardwalk, especially one of that moment when he had managed to say something witty enough to make her laugh so loud and hideously that dogs started barking in the distance. To be able to watch her face light up, hear her squawk and get that tingly sensation in his chest whenever he wanted would be better than nice. He wants to replay these memories and more, and have them loop seamlessly whenever he felt overwhelmed or disconnected from himself or the world…

He wants to make more memories too. An endless stream of Sadie laughing, Sadie wrinkling her nose in annoyance, Sadie shyly blushing, Sadie yelling at him, Sadie kissing him, Sadie, Sadie, Sadie...

Lars shakes his head clear of the soft fuzzies overloading his mind, while his hand shuts off and pockets his phone.

“Okay,” Sadie whispers a bit apologetically when she reaches the bottom step. “So it turns out the only thing we have that would travel well is toaster pastries and energy bars.”

“What a grand feast,” he remarks sarcastically, barely catching the plastic bottle she tosses at him before it collides into his chest.

“Well, if you bothered to charge your scooter, you’d have better options,” Sadie scolds him, only somewhat jokingly. “No point in making anything hot if it’ll be cold before you can even eat it.”

Lars shrugs, twisting off the cap of the bottle and taking a large swig of water. He hands it back to her, and Sadie takes a few sips before putting the cap back on.

“Guess I’ll have to stay then,” he reasons with a smirk. “And eat whenever we wake up.”

“What?” Sadie questions in mild confusion.

Instead of elaborating, Lars just plants a kiss on the side of her mouth and finally walks into the room. Sadie blinks. She resists the urge to touch the lingering warmth his light peck left on her skin. Her feet do follow him inside, however. Her lips pucker, rather from longing for another kiss or in distaste that he just invited himself over, she’s not too certain. Sadie shakes her head.

“I’m too tired to fool around,” she reminds him in hopes of deterring him.

But Lars just shrugs, kicking off his shoes and flopping on her bed like it’s the most natural thing in the world. She sighs. Placing the half empty water bottle on her dresser, Sadie takes off her red flats. She ignores Lars making grabby hands at her while she strips and puts on baggier, comfier clothes.

“Finally,” he mutters softly when she crawls into bed.

His slender arms instantly envelope her, and Lars tugs her into his chest. His warmth washes over her, covering her like a light blanket. Sadie hears a soft contented sigh, and realizes it came from her. She had folded herself into him without even noticing, snug in his embrace. It just felt so right to be here with him. Cozied up in her bed, drifting off to sleep together, unbothered by the morning sun filtering in through her blinds. And yet…

Her mind drifts back to a few weeks ago, when she had been seconds away from making a fool of herself by saying that she loved him. His squeaky laugh before he had explained all her silly little hopes away replays in her head.

What’s wrong with her?

No matter how much growth and change has occurred, why would she even allow herself to fathom that _Lars_ , the guy that use to quicken his steps so he was always a good foot ahead of her so people wouldn’t think he was walking with her as they head to work together, would _ever_ want to be in a romantic relationship with her?

Lars snores, muttering her name in his sleep. He nuzzles his face deeper in her hair. His grip on her tightens for a moment before his body relaxes. She thinks she feels him kiss her head, and Sadie melts into him all the more.

Right. _That’s_ why.

With every sweet caress of his large hands, every tender kiss pressed on her nose or temple by his pliant lips, every hushed whisper of her name rolling adoringly off his usually sharp tongue, a trickle of hope that maybe this is evolving into something _more_ rushes over her.

But it’s not.

He pretty much said so, didn’t he? That it was just sex. That they were still just friends.

Yet here he is, snuggling close to her like she’s that teddy bear of his that he doesn’t think she knows about. And she’s allowing it, because, despite any efforts into easing into some type of emotional distance, she wants this. Him.

Sadie inhales deep, getting a large whiff of his scent, and exhales sorrowfully.

Honestly, it’s all as confusing as it is frustrating. It’s not as if she doesn’t value his companionship in the platonic way, but… Her feelings have been yo-yoing about since the beginning, and Sadie is growing weary of this.

Maybe she needs some actual _physical_ distance?

They’re together almost on a daily basis. A little time away to get her feelings in check could do the trick. She does have some vacation days saved up. Maybe she’ll go on a trip or something. Would be nice to get away.

For now though, Sadie snuggles deeper into the embrace and soaks up the bittersweet bliss of lying in his arms.


	6. Autumn I

Sadie prances about in Lars’s dreams.

Currently, his dreamself follows her through various rooms that vaguely resemble his home. He chases the chiming sound of her shrieking giggles. Bright pastel colors sparkle around them each time his hand brushes her summer skin, fading into a more muted shade when she slips out his grip. When his arms finally manage to lock around her, they fumble to the ground together. Their naked bodies intertwine. Their happy laughter blend together in a merry melody that echo brilliantly around them. It makes him feel light in the chest as his dreamself tickles her sides and kisses her neck.

Her laughter becomes breathy. She squirms beneath him, and her caressing hands on his back ignite bursts of heat that tingle his skin. He pulls back to look down at her smiling face, and the sight leaves him hard and aching for her when he starts to wake.

In the seconds where Lars lies between rousing from his slumber and opening his eyes to full consciousness, dream and memory had blended together. His hand had reached for her to squeeze her thigh, or palm her soft belly, or caress _anything_ really as long as he was touching Sadie’s silky skin. Lars gets a handful of cool sheets instead.

The skinny teen groggily sits up. The afternoon sun hits him square in the face. Lars grumbles irritably. Lying back down, Lars turns away from the window. One hand idly adjusting the tent in his blankets, the other rubs the crust out his eyes and wipes the drool off chin. He yawns a loud keening sound as he stretches, back bones popping, as reality settles back into his brain.

Right. Sadie’s visiting her dad’s side of the family in the awful armpit that is Jersey. She’s been gone for ten days, and won’t be returning for another four.

_“So you’re just leaving?” he had grumbled, arms crossed as he sat at the foot of her bed while she stuffed clothes into a tiny travel bag. Just moments before, he had been ecstatic when he crawled through her tiny window, eager to tell her about the weekend plans he had just made… Plans that were no longer viable. “Were you even going to fucking tell me?”_

_“It wasn’t like I was keeping it a secret.” Sadie had sighed a bit apologetically, and turned away from her dresser to face him. Hand on her hip, she took in the deep scowl pouting his lips and rolled her eyes. “And I’m telling you right now.”_

_“Yeah, like a day before you leave,” he had muttered. His lanky body slumped off the mattress and flopped down to lie fully on the floor._

_“Well, it’s not like I’ll be gone that long,” she added, and her shoulders shrugged while she sheepishly wrung her hands. “And you can text me whenever...if you want.”_

_Lars just made a disgruntled noise at that._

_This impending departure had felt too sudden. The news had left a bitter taste in his mouth, and made his chest feel hollow though he couldn’t exactly pinpoint why. Lars sighed heavily before he grumbled. “This sucks.”_

_She stared down at him for a few seconds, and her expression seemed to bounce between guilt and exasperation towards the situation. But she settled on letting out a short, incredulous laugh, and turned her back to him to start packing again._

_“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re going to miss me.”_

_“Yeah, right,” he tsked. His long legs flailed about when he rolled on his side so she couldn’t see his flushed cheeks. His eyes glared at her massive pile of stuffed animals. He hated the way his insides flipped. “It's just annoying, Sadie. I had already told Buck that we were gonna go to the premiere of that cheesy cartoon movie with him and the other Cool Kids this weekend. Now, when I show up alone, they’re gonna think I’m a loser.”_

_“Whatever, Lars,” she softly scoffed. “You don’t even want to see that movie. You said the trailer for it looked like a wet pile of garbage had a baby with some bad CGI. Why waste your money on that?”_

_“Ugh. Because we’re watching it_ **_ironically_** _, Sadie. There’s a difference,” he grumpily explained. He watched as she pulled out her white lace crop top, and for some reason he had felt relieved when she placed it back in her dresser drawer. “Besides, you were gonna buy my movie ticket.”_

_“Why would I ever do that?” Sadie asked, whipping her blonde head back around to peer at him in disbelief._

_“Oh, I think I could’ve persuaded ya,” Lars had said with a smug, suggestive smirk._

_Sadie blinked and weakly laughed him off. Shaking her head, she muttered, “I’m pretty sure you’re overestimating your prowess.” However, the pink in her cheeks told him she wouldn’t be against him trying to prove her wrong. So he had sat up with his arm outstretched towards her._

_Sadie paused in her actions to stare at him questioningly. His hand curled and uncurled in a grabbing motion, though his gaze dropped shyly to the carpet. So he didn’t see the uncertain look that crossed her face, nor the stiff, reluctant way she took a half step forward. He didn’t see the small smile that curved her lips either, at least not until she’s directly in front of him. Sadie sat between his opened legs. He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a good squeeze before he rested his head atop hers, and inhaled her sweet scent. Foggy, yet fond memories, invoked by whatever perfume or shampoo she always used, swirled in his head. They had sat like that for a solid five minutes._

_His heart hammered in his chest the whole time._

Lars now sighs and stares blankly up at his ceiling. He counts the dust particles floating in air as they catch the light, and listens to the chirp of birds and the happy shouts of children playing outside since there’s nothing but silence in his home. Lars glances out of one his windows, getting a glimpse of red and browning leaves shifting in the wind. He then picks up his phone with a frown, and types in a text: _It's hella boring w/o u_

Lars pauses for a moment. Chewing on his bottom lip, he looks the message over a few times before he deletes _‘without you_ ’. Only then does his thumb taps the send button.

His phone buzzes a minute later with Sadie’s response: _lol how many times are you going to tell me that?_

 _‘I dunno’_ , he replies, thumbs moving at lightning speed. ‘ _Probs not til u get home >:p ’ _

_‘i miss you too, Lars’_

He blushes down at his phone, suddenly glad she isn’t here to see the stupid grin that breaks across his face.

 _‘I’m not coming back early tho’_ , she adds, cutting off the usual line the conversation went when he texted her since her departure. ‘ _You’re probably only bored because you’re just sitting in bed playing video games. Go outside, or clean your room or something.’_  

Lars sucks his teeth, rolling his eyes. Before he can think up a good retort, she sends him another text; _I gtg. We’re going to a game, and then dinner. I’ll ttyl_

Lars sighs. His phone is flung carelessly onto his nightstand, and he rolls over to lie on his stomach. He sighs heavily once again into his pillow.

He’s being so pathetic.

It’s not like he’s never had a crush before. There was that week in kindergarten he noticed Kiki Pizza had a cute smile. There was also that cashier with purple hair that just happened to be the one to always ring up his random purchases during that one summer in middle school. There was that college girl that came to Beach City for spring break who swam around him in the ocean for hours, and Lars thought about her nonstop for all of a day. And of course there was Jenny, who’s so intimidatingly cool that he’s still not sure if he simply misinterpreted his ongoing admiration for her during those days he called himself liking her. But yeah. Crushes he could deal with, because, if he waits long enough, the feelings that make him all sweaty and jumbled up his thoughts would naturally fade. At least, that was the case before Sadie.

But Sadie’s not a simple crush for him anymore. It’s blown past that a long while ago. And he’s not really certain if he can handle that. Their current situation is ...good. Better than good. More than he has any right to hope for considering she’s so… Smart. Kind. Strong. Funny. Pretty. A little ball of sunshine that can most definitely kick his ass.

His heart skips a beat.

Things with Sadie are only temporary, however. Lars tries to stop the line of thought there, but his stomach drops and trepidation trembles in his chest because eventually she’ll find someone else -- _someone better_ \-- and that’ll be that.

His stomach rolls unpleasantly at the thought. But then it growls, and Lars remembers that he hasn’t eaten anything today and it’s almost one o’clock. So he grumbles, and slides out of bed.

He stomps around to his dresser to tug on a shirt and some boxers before leaving his room. His feet tread heavily down the staircase. The carpeted floor of the living room dulls the thump of his stomping feet, so he purposefully bumps his shoulder into the wall just to make the picture frames hanging there shake and clatter to help vent the frustration building in him.

He pauses in the kitchen doorway when he sees his mother asleep at the table.

His footfalls soften as he goes to stand by to her. There’s a cold cup of tea next to her. Lars frowns. She must have crashed here after coming in from work this morning.

He gently nudges her. Nothing. He bites his lip, unsure if he should just let her be. His parents have been working the late shift for some months now, and him coming down from his room to find one of them like this during his off day isn’t uncommon.

But then Lars glances at the family calendar tacked next to the fridge by the collage of family portraits and his childhood drawings. Seeing his mom’s upcoming doctor’s appointment marked on it in bold letters, he remembers how she’s been complaining about body pains lately. Sleeping at the table probably wouldn’t help with that. So he shakes her shoulder a little harder.

“Nanay,” Lars calls when she starts to stir. “Wake up, nanay.”  

“Hm?” His mom slowly lifts her head with a small yawn. Her tired eyes open, dark circles outlining them. Lars frowns at how the whites of her eyes are moreover yellow. She’s so frail looking that her large mass of orangey-brown hair seems likely to cause her neck to snap as she lulls her head back to look up at him. “Oh. Morning, Laramie.”

“It’s past noon, nanay,” he gently informs her through gritted teeth, internally cringing at the use of his lame name. His jaw relaxes, however, when she sweetly cups his cheek and he has to fight the tiniest of smiles from twitching at the corners of his mouth. “Why don’t you get to bed?”

“Oh!” his mother chuckles weakly at herself. He helps her stand up, and sees that a small pile of overdue bills had been acting as her pillow. “Thanks, dear.”

Watching her stumble sleepily toward his parents’ bedroom, Lars frowns at himself. All those days he clocked out early from work, or bailed completely, suddenly come back to haunt him. His parents are working so hard, and he’s just fucking around like an idiot. Being useless as always.

Lars opens and slams cabinets before doing the same to the refrigerator door. Carrying a blue and white ceramic bowl his father had made some odd years ago, a carton of lactose milk, and an almost empty box of off brand chocolate cereal to the table, Lars takes the seat his mother just vacated.

Lars makes quick work of fixing his meal. Using the small, color changing spoon he once got as a prize in a box from his childhood, he stirs the chocolatey o’s to turn the milk completely brown. He eats slowly while he flips through the opened envelopes to see how close they’re toeing the line with financial ruin.

Glancing over it all, they really aren’t that bad off. It’s not even be worth stressing about, especially since he’ll get his paycheck soon enough to contribute.

So Lars finishes his breakfast/lunch in relative silence, occasionally catching himself humming a bouncy tune that he can’t quite place how he knows. Depositing the dishes in the sink, Lars makes his way back to the living room.

There’s a sudden loud clap of thunder, followed closely by the screams of the children that had been playing outdoors. The sound vibrates through the house, and lightly jostles Lars’s insides.

“Fuck,” Lars yells out, legs wobbling as he jolts back in shock. He falls flat on his butt, hissing another curse at the floor before he clambers over to the window. Peering out in curiosity, his brows knit together when confronted with blue skies and sunshine. Confused, Lars unlatches the lock and opens the window to poke his head out. A second later, he spots where the noise came from.

Some weird, hulking creature is bumbling around down the street. There’s another boom, a blast from the monster that causes the house to shake and sends something flying into Lars’s frontyard. Chunks of grass and dirt flings up from where it landed, and Lars blinks when the cloud of dust dissipates around the figure occupying the fresh hole on his lawn.

Steven.

The young boy pops back onto his feet like getting slapped nearly ten feet was nothing. Steven cups his hands around his mouth to amplify his voice, screaming towards the action that he was okay. Lars barely makes out a feminine voice replying to the boy when Steven turns his head. Their eyes meet, and Steven beams at Lars, excitedly waving his hand.

“Hi, Lars!”

“Hey, Steven,” Lars replies a bit dryly, weakly lifting his hand to waggle his fingers in greeting. “Make sure that thing doesn’t knock down my house, will ya?”

“Sure thing, Lars!” Steven proclaims, clenching his fist in determination as he nods his woolly head in promise.

“And keep it down!” Lars hollers after him when Steven runs off to rejoin the fight. “Some of us are trying to sleep!”

With a light scoff and a roll of his eyes, Lars closes the window. This dumb city is so weird.

Lars makes his way back to his room, frowning when he sees the boxes holding the Christmas decorations have toppled over. He sluggishly moves to fix the boxes, barely restacking them into their proper place when another, though more distant, thunder-like clap boomed. Another light quake hits the house. The boxes wobble and topple over.

“Ugh!” Lars groans, flinging his head back in aggravation. “Stupid little...”

He continues to mutter heatedly under his breath as he rights the boxes again, this time securing them with the other boxes that got stored up here. But now the wall of space looks neater than the rest of his room.

Glancing around, his really notes just how messy his room is. Not dirty exactly, just moreover disorganized and cluttered. He could attempt to straighten up a little.

So Lars rolls up his sleeves, and starts kicking things into piles. The trash pile is quickly disposed of, the dirty clothes pile gets dumped in the hamper after he puts away the clean clothes that’s been sitting in the bin since he last did laundry, and the random stuff pile eventually gets distributed around the room.

He turns to his bed, trying to remember the last time he washed his sheets. Lars sucks his teeth. Does he even care? Not really. In fact, he can feel his will to spruce up his surroundings drain into a familiar indifference.

So instead of stripping his mattress, Lars goes over to the green chair next to it. Crouching down, Lars blindly reaches beneath it. He’s pretty certain he had stashed some candy under it, and munching on some gummy worms while playing a few rounds of his favorite online game sounds like a good way to waste away the rest of the day.

Something soft brushes his hand. Lars frowns, and pulls it out. He then blinks at the item pinched between his thumb and forefinger.

Panties. Plain, blue, cotton panties with a white elastic band. Sadie’s.

How long has it been here, hidden beneath his armchair?

The fabric is still soft. His fingers idly fiddle with it until it’s inside out. It looks relatively clean too. Brows knitting with inner debate, Lars hesitantly lifts and lowers it a few times before finally just bringing it up to his nose. The scent is a bit dull, and it’s mixed in with a light musk that naturally comes from being on the attic’s wooden floor for who knows how long. But it’s there. Pungent, tangy, and making his head swim as he inhales deep for the second whiff. _Sadie_.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he groans hoarsely into the cotton blend as something in his stomach drops, and his dick hardens almost instantly. He blinks a bit hazily then, lowering the underwear to frown at himself as his actions truly catch up to him. “Okay, this is just weird.”

He stands back up. Clutching her panties in a tight fist, Lars glances around, unsure of what the hell he is suppose to do with them.

The thought of her slightly horrified face upon him presenting them to her the moment she got back makes him snicker a bit, easily picturing her trying to snatch them out his grasp. Her cheeks would be so red! He bet she’ll look downright adorable.

She might accuse him of stealing them, though. And then he’ll have to defend himself, because, despite what he had just done mere seconds ago, he isn’t exactly in the business of collecting girl’s underwear. He has enough stuff cluttering his room as it is, let alone something that’ll end in a awkward talk with his parents if it ever got mixed in with the laundry. And even if he were the type of guy to steal his lover’s...his _friend-with-benefits’_ underwear, he would certainly choose a better pair than these. He probably would’ve taken the grey boyshorts. Though it's even less sexy than the one in his hands, she seems to be rather comfy in the pair. It’s the only piece of underwear she’d freely walk around in when he’s in the room with her. And the way the fabric stretches across her perfect behind…

“Ugh, why am I even thinking about this? This is stupid. I should just throw them away. It’s probably been here for like ever, and she obviously doesn’t care about them for her to just up and leave them behind like this!”

A hollow pang suddenly hits his chest, and Lars kicks at his bedframe in annoyance. He immediately spews out a curse as pain shoots up his toes. He hops around in a circle, almost toppling over, until the pain stops. Lars glares indignantly at his bed, resisting the urge to kick it again out of spite.

He then lets out a heavy sigh, shoulders sagging. Soft cotton still held firm in his palm, Lars wonders if all this had been a mistake. Recently it felt as if they're in some kind of relationship purgatory. Or had it always felt like that, and he was just too happy to be touching her to notice?

Lars sucks his teeth at that thought.

He shouldn’t have opened himself up like this. He should of...He should have never kissed her back in spring. Or, at least, never offered to make it a reoccurring thing. Not when he knows he’s so undeserving, and it’ll be his heart that’s on the line. Fuck, what kind a stupid idea was that? Did he really think he was capable of not getting more attached to her? He wished he had kept his stupid mouth shut.

However...

His eyes drops to the crumbled blue fabric. His heart flutters with the memory of every tiny smile, every snort-filled laugh, every gentle sweep of her thumb across his knuckles, and every strawberry flavored kiss she'd given him since that fateful night, and his dick twitches in his underwear.

He’s never wanted something more than to be with Sadie. _Really_ be with her. It’s scary as all get out, but damn it all if he doesn’t ache for it. And maybe if he could just not be such a fucking coward all the damn time, maybe he could...they could…

“Oh, fuck me,” Lars huffs to himself.

Lars shakes his head. He doesn’t want to think anymore. His long legs move swiftly as he storms out his room in a direct route to the bathroom. He slams the door behind him, and takes a deep breath. His cheeks heat up when he looks at the panties still in his fist.

He feels a little perverse for what he’s about to do.

The tingle of self disgust crawling over his skin doesn’t stop him from turning on the faucet however. He waits for the water to heat up before he twists the knob so only a tiny stream is flowing into the sink. Careful not to over do it, fearful of washing away her scent, he lightly dampens the crotch of the underwear.

Turning the water off, Lars pokes his head out the bathroom door. House still and silent, Lars dashes back up to the attic to flop onto his bed. He kicks off his boxers. The hem of his shirt is hurriedly lifted up, so the cloth bunches up above his small, stiffened nipples. He swiftly brings the panties to his face. Covers his mouth and nose with it, moaning as his eyes flutter shut, and his fingers try to smother him with it.

Wet, warm, and reeking of her arousal.

_Fuck yeah!_

His hips buck into the air. His free hand fists his hardening cock, pumping the length in steady, leisurely strokes. Wrist twisting, hand squeezing harder around the weeping head and smearing the precum down his shaft to use as lube, Lars grunts and whimpers.

He can picture her so easily, cheeks all rosy as thick thighs shyly come up to straddle his head…

Lars thrusts up into his hand.

 _“Oh, Lars,”_ she would gasp airly in pleasure, making something in his belly tighten as she rides his tongue with growing abandon. Fuck, he loved it when she lost herself in him, when she got loud without realizing and she grinded almost frantically on him. And is there anything better than having her cum against his mouth? Her distinct flavor flowing over his tastebuds like warm honey. Feeling her legs quake and turn to jelly. Those tiny gasps and keening noises of hers that transforms into breathless laughter when he keeps going. The blissfully satisfied look in her eyes right after. Knowing he’s made her experience at least a fraction of how good she makes him feel. His cock quivers at the memory. _God, he wants that._

Biting into the cotton, he whines pitifully when he sucks it and her taste doesn’t wash over his tongue.

Longing hits him square in the gut.

_Shit shit shit!_

Lars’s face twists in a grimace, his eyes squeezing more firmly shut. His hand moves faster, chasing the niggling sadness away with selfish pleasure. His breath quicken, harsh and hot, cotton clinging to his mouth as his jaw slacken. The warmth on the thin fabric is starting to cool. The moisture no longer feels pleasant. But she’s still filling his nostrils, and it’s enough.

He thrusts desperately into his hand. The heels of his feet grind and slide down the sheets of his mattress. He chokes out her name. And his seed splatters onto his belly, and dribble down his fingers.

_Fuck._

After a few gasping breaths, Lars groans and peels the garment off his face. He lazily runs it over his sticky fingers before mopping up his stomach. He flops his head back when he’s done. Lars stares up at the ceiling, his eyelids drooping. The balled up underwear stays clenched in his fist as he dozes off.

Sadly, seeing as he slept in past noon, the nap is much more brief than Lars would’ve liked.

It’s been long enough, however, for the underwear loosely held between his fingers to become stiff and lightly crusted with white. Lars’s lips curl in disgust. He’s definitely throwing these away.

In the meantime, he tucks it between the mattress and the bed frame. He rolls out of bed with a soft grunt, dragging the red duvet with him so it can act as a cushion when he squats down in front of the television to boot up his gaming console.

He spends the rest of the day button mashing, alternative and indie rock songs blasting in the background, and only stops when his father comes up with a plate of food. Lars instantly starts to devour it full heartedly, shrugging at his dad as he gapes at the cleared floorway.

“It’s so nice to see you taking some initiative,” Lars’s dad gently comments with a little smile. Lars rolls his eyes, unsure how to take the...compliment? Simple observation? But Lars smiles weakly back at his dad, who is still nodding at the room’s newfound organization. “Even the smallest step forward can make a big difference.”

“Because action is better than inaction, and nothing changes otherwise,” Lars recites a bit blandly. “I _know_ , tatay. I saw the motivational phrase of the week you taped on the fridge.”

His father beams. “I didn’t realized you were still reading them.”

Lars shrugs, silently snorting a laugh before consuming another forkful of food. Lars can see the spark in his dad’s eyes, and knows the man will be spending his break time tonight searching the internet with renewed vigor for inspirational quotes and images to print.

They then have a brief chat about his mom staying home while his dad will be heading off to work soon. Lars nods, waving his dad goodbye and promising to check in on his mom.

Finishing up his meal, Lars gets up to set the plate atop his bedside table and flings back onto the mattress. It bounces him for a moment, the springs lightly squeaking. He picks up his cell phone, frowning when he sees he doesn’t have any new messages.

With a few taps to the smooth screen, Sadie’s contact is pulled up. Lars stares at the picture saved with her info, a snapshot he’d taken of her when she first woke up. Her eyes are droopy and she has a serious case of bedhead, but the tiny smile she wore upon seeing him next to her in her bed made his insides flutter. So of course he ignored her pleas to delete the supposedly unflattering photo, but agreed to her demand that he wouldn’t show it to anyone.

That hollow feeling needles its way into his chest again, the dull ache growing stronger the longer he looks at her picture. God, he’s sick of feeling like this. And it’s probably just because he was just talking about it with his dad that makes the corny inspirational phrase pop into his head. If things with Sadie are gonna change, he has to _actively do something_. So maybe he should just…

Lars gnaws on his bottom lip, uncertain.

Fuck it.

His thumb taps the phone icon.

It rings once, and his heart rate increases. It rings twice, and he forgets to breathe. It rings a third time, Lars barely able to resist the panic induced urge to end the call. And then...

“Hello?” Sadie’s voice is pure confusion in his ear, and he laughs nervously into the receiver. Why had he called her like a weirdo? No one called anymore, except grandmas or when there’s an emergency.

“H-hi! Hey! Uh...My finger slipped while I was texting, and I accidentally called ya,” Lars lies through his teeth.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. I’ll just...um. I’ll just hang up now.”

Sadie snorts, and he can almost see her shaking her head. “No, it’s fine. We can talk… I mean, if you want?”

“Sure,” he replies a little too fast, and he cringes at how desperate he sounded. Lars takes a deep breath, and reminds himself to act smooth. “Cool. Cool cool cool. What’s up?”

“Uh, nothing much at the moment. Getting ready for bed. What were you trying to text me?”

“Huh?”

“You said you called by mistake when you were trying to text me,” she reiterates. “What was the text?”

“Oh. Uhh, I was just...Um.” His eyes dart desperately around his room, landing on the smiling bat decals he was suppose to put on the Big Donut’s glass windows a few days ago. “Halloween!”

“Yeah?” she questions, a touch of laughter in her tone. “What about it?”

“It’ll be here before ya know it,” he responds with a light shrug though he knew she couldn’t see it. “Just wanted to get your opinion on what we should do.”

“Oh. Well, we could have a horror movie marathon.”

“Sades,” Lars tsks. “That’s no different than any other day we hang. Expand your horizons, babe.”

“Ugh, don’t call me babe. Especially with all that condescension in your voice,” Sadie chides but she giggles as she does it, despite herself. Lars smiles, pressing the phone closer to his ear to hear her tiny snort. “And if my idea stinks so bad, then what would be your suggestion?”

“Eh. I think Sour Cream is throwing a rave in the abandoned shipyard,” Lars mentions causally. The aspiring DJ had pinned a flyer on the Big Donut’s bulletin board, and told Lars he was free to come before darting back out to post more flyers. “That should be cool.”

“Yeah, I guess. Is it a costume party?”

“It’s Halloween, Sades. Of course, it is.”

“Well, I don’t know! Maybe you guys are too cool for costumes nowadays.”

“Whatever, Sades. You sound like such an ol’ lady.”

“Don’t make me whip out my cane, whippersnapper.”

Lars chuckles, and rolls over in his bed.

“So will we be doing matching costumes, or…?” Sadie asks, and Lars blushes at the thought of walking into a party together in a couple’s costume. But he nods, only to cough and confirm her question with a soft _‘yeah, maybe’_ when he remembers she can’t see him. “What should we go as?”

“I dunno,” he answers with a smirk. “But I bet you’d look good in one of those sexy bunny girl outfits.”

“Not happening,” she swiftly cuts in, and Lars’s smirk widens. “So get any ideas of you walking around in a velvet robe with a fake cigar in hand out of your head now, because I’d rather get mauled by Evil Bear.”

“Fine,” he pretends to whine, shoulders shaking with barely held in chuckles. “No need to die at the hands of fake looking movie monsters. Hm. We could always go as the number ten, if all else fails.”

“‘Cause you’re so long and skinny, and I’m so round. Ha. Ha,” Sadie responds dryly, but there’s a hint of genuine mirth there too. “You’re lucky I can’t smack you through the phone, Lars.”

“Yeah, well if you could, I’d have ya touch a few others things too.”

“Don’t be gross.”

“Me?” Lars gasps innocently. “I was talking about hand holding, and such. What were _you_ thinking about?”

“The gutter, obviously.”

He snickers. “Well, if it makes ya feel better, you’re more of an eight than a zero.”

“...I can’t tell if you’re comparing my body to those numbers, or if that’s the rating you’re giving it,” Sadie mutters. “Either way, not a fan.”

“What? Eight’s good,” Lars chimes in defense. “ _Curvy_.”

“Hmph.”

“And besides, you’re def a ten, Sades. Total dime piece.”

“Whatever, Lars. Stop teasing me.”

“I’m not!”

“Yeah, well...you’re a ten too,” she says softly, and he grins freely. “When you’re not suffering from a case of jerkface, anyway.”

Lars scoffs in mock objection. “I’m an _eleven_. All day, every day. Thank you very much.”

“Whatever you say, Lars.”

He snickers, getting up off the bed to pace around the room. “So how’s your dumb vacation going?”

“Good, actually. Today was nice. My cousins did drag me on a shopping adventure, though.”

“How dare,” he huffs in fake indignance, stopping in front of his dresser mirror. His reflection is beaming back at him. He doesn’t bother trying to subdue it. Lars spins on his heels, walking to the opposite side of the room just the step in a circle as the conversation continues.

“Heh, yeah,” Sadie giggles. “They practically bullied me into trying on some...um. Intimates.”

“Intimates?” Lars parrots, brow arching. Memories of this afternoon floods his brain, and his cheeks flame. He coughs into his hand, clearing his throat so his voice wouldn’t come out weird. It still sounds a bit squeaky when he speaks though. “Like _lingerie_? Why would they pressure you into buying that, unless...you told them about me?”

A pleased grin splits his face when she starts sputtering.

“N-no! I didn’t even buy any. My cousins just think wearing sexy underwear is empowering or whatever.”

“Mhm, a likely story.”

“My point was I spent way more time in a dressing room than I ever wanted,” Sadie adds, laughing softly at him. “You do realize not everything I do has to do with you? I’m allowed to do non-Lars related things.”

“Yeah, I know,” he whispers into the receiver, shrugging to himself. He thinks about how bitter he’s been about her leaving, suddenly realizing how childish he had been acting. He does stuff without her all the time, so there’s a part of him that wants to apologize, even though she wasn’t even around to witness his temper tantrum. Instead he forces out a light chuckle. “But Lars related things are so great. Why go without it?”

“Why go without Sadie related things?” she fires back, and he snorts.

“Well, this time it’s not my fault.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” she answers after a beat with a voice that’s much too small and soft for Lars’s liking. “Sorry.”

“What? No, don't…” Lars grimaces, cringing a bit at the tinge of sadness in her tone. “I didn’t mean it like that. Have fun with your cousins or whatever. It’s fine. I’m not trying to make you feel bad.”

“I know, but… I was thinking about it on the bus ride to Jersey, and I… I should have handled our goodbye better? Telling you at the last minute that I’ll be gone for half the month was kind of crappy of me.”

“Yeah, it kinda was,” he softly agrees, but he scoffs out a little laugh to let her know it wasn’t a big deal. “Sounds like some shit I would’ve pulled.”

“Heh. Yeah. You’re rubbing off on me.”

“That’s me. Making good girls go bad since twenty-whatever.”

“More like driving girls up a wall,” she jokingly sneers.

“You’re such a hater, Sadie. Dang.”

Her responding laughter -- light and free-- rings pleasantly in his ear, and he’s smiling like crazy. Honestly, why did he use to force himself to go without her?

“So when ya get back,” he finds himself saying, “you wanna meet up or something?”

“What? You want me to come over?”

“Nah. Well, I mean, _yeah_. I do. But like, maybe we could go out first? We could meet up at Fish Stew Pizza the day you get back, and uh catch up. You can show me all your lame vacation photos, and maybe we could hit up the arcade or something? See a movie? Um, ya know.”

Lars chews on his bottom lip, mentally cursing himself. Nothing about what he said exactly spelled out _date_ , as these were all activities they've done together as friends, but it certainly felt like he was asking her out. The line falls silent for a moment, and Lars is two seconds away from saying _nevermind_ when Sadie finally answers.

“Yeah, that sounds nice actually.”

“It’ll be better than _nice_ ,” Lars somewhat snarkily remarked, grinning from ear to ear.

“We’ll see,” Sadie teases.

“Yeah, we will,” Lars confidently says with a nod. He’ll show her a good time, get her to laugh and blush and scrunch up her nose at him. And he’ll hold her hand, and kiss her lips, and embrace her as much as he like because he misses her, damn it! And even if it isn’t a _date_ date, he’ll be sure to end their day together with her screaming his name. And in the sweet afterglow, they’ll languidly lounge about in bed together with their limbs intertwined. He’ll play with her hair, and her breath will tickle his neck. And perhaps he’ll get brave enough to whisper in her ear that he truly does love her, and maybe she’ll look at him with those dark brown eyes and smile sweetly before reciprocating. Okay, so maybe that last part is just a pipedream, but whatever! “You’ll be head over heels for me by the end of the day, baby.”

He had said it as a joke, even if that sort of is his plan. Lars waits for her to laugh, scoff, maybe poke fun at him or even scold him for calling her _baby_. But the line falls silent.

He has no way of knowing that miles away Sadie is blushing like mad, curled up in the bed of her uncle’s guest room, struggling to find her voice in the dark. So Lars frowns at himself, a wave of nerves washing over him as panic punches his gut. _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

“Heh. Well, good luck getting me to even wear heels,” she finally responds a second later, softly with a weak laugh. Relief crashes over Lars, and he soundlessly sighs a prayer of thanks that he hadn’t ruined the mood.

“Nah, won’t even bother with that,” Lars chuckles quietly. His teeth sink into his bottom lip when a thought pops into his head. “But maybe you can wear that little blue dress of yours?”

“Maybe,” she chirps back. “Not sure you deserve to see me in that dress.”

“Please?” he begs sweetly, and she’s giggling for real again. He can easily picture her rolling her eyes as she repeats her answer of maybe. “Well, if I walk into Fish Stew, and you’re wearing it, then I’ll know it’s a date.”

“A date?”

“Uh y-yeah,” Lars laughs shakily, his cheeks practically burning his palm as he drags his hand over his face. How did his mouth keep digging him into these holes? “You’ll have the pleasure of buying me pizza.”

“Oh, lucky me. And if I’m not wearing a dress?”

“Sadie, as much as I’d like it, you can’t go walking around naked.”

“You know what I mean!” she huffs, and he snickers.

“You’ll still have to buy me pizza. But you won’t be getting any of my sweet affection, so ya know. Your loss.”

She snorts. “Okay.”

“Okay, you’re wearing the dress; or okay, you’re fine with missing out on my high quality kisses?”  

“Okay, as in, you’ll just have to wait and see.”

Lars chuckles out a scoff, smiling smugly to himself. “It’s a date then.”


	7. Autumn II

Sadie walks into Fish Stew Pizza with a sparkling bright grin on her face. She got in from Jersey early last night, and though excitement kept her from getting much rest, Sadie is buzzing with hopeful energy.

Today’s her first real date with Lars!

Well, she’s not really certain if he had been joking or not, but that doesn’t take the pep out of her step. She blushes happily, excited to see him after two weeks. Glancing around, however, she doesn’t see the lanky teen. Her eyes sweeps over the restaurant once more to be sure. Certain he’s not here yet, Sadie goes to sit at a table near the back.

“Can I get you anything?” Kiki says in way of greeting the moment Sadie gets settled in her seat. She flashes Sadie a friendly smile.

“Um, just water, please. I’m uh waiting for someone.”

Kiki nods, the pink bow in her hair swaying to the side. She leaves and comes back in less than a minute, placing a tinted red glass cup of ice water onto the little table. Sadie nods and hums a small noise in thanks, and Kiki nods back before moving on to other customers.

Sadie takes a few sips of the cool liquid as seconds tick by as a glacial pace. Her foot bounces anxiously. The empty seat in front of her stares back almost mockingly.

Sadie whips out her phone, double checking that this is the time they said they’ll meet up. The texts where they laid out the plan for the day are at least two days old. Maybe she remembered wrong? But no, the messages on her screen says it plain as day. This is the time they set. So Sadie sends him a text to tell him she’s here and waiting.

Five minutes go by, and there’s still no reply.

Sadie frowns, her merry mood dampening a little. She reminds herself that this is _Lars_. Of course he’s going to be late. So she wiggles in her seat, trying her best not to jump each time someone comes into the restaurant. However, she has no control over the pinch of disappointment that stabs at her each time it’s not Lars walking through the chiming door. Sadie sighs and slumps a bit in her chair.

She impatiently drinks more water. Her eyes dart around the room, trying to find something to occupy herself with when Jenny Pizza’s ecstatic giggles catches Sadie’s attention.

“Wait, so you two are friends now?” Sadie overhears Sour Cream at the booth next to her.

“Yeah, we’ve been chatting for awhile,” Jenny gushes excitedly as she needlessly wipes down the table her friends are seated at to appear busy.  “She’s coming to visit early next month and everything.”

“Cool,” Buck nods the same time Sour Cream says, “sweet.”

Sadie shifts in her seat, and tries her best not to eavesdrop any further. Kiki stops by her table again a moment later, refilling her glass of water.

“You sure you don’t want to order something?” Kiki asks gently, her eyes becoming sympathetic.

Sadie blushes and shakes her head. “No. I’d rather wait until my friend arrives.”

Kiki nods, though her face seems uncertain as she fiddles with her apron. And when another five minutes pass, Kiki silently places a complimentary basket of breadsticks in front of Sadie.

“He’s… He’s coming,” Sadie finds herself timidly telling the waitress.

Kiki just nods again, kindly giving Sadie a reassuring smile before going to a table on the opposite side of the room to collect dishes.

Sadie’s insides twist.

He’s going to come. This whole thing was his idea. Of course, he’s going to come. Any minute now, the bell above the entryway door will ring, and Lars will be slinking his way over to her with that crooked grin on his face. And he’ll tell her that he overslept or something, and she’ll order something gross like anchovies and onions on her pizza just so the smell will annoy him. That seems like a good punishment for making her wait like this. Though she probably won’t go through with it. The way he gags at the scent of anchovies will just make her feel bad.

She debates this for a moment longer, but it ultimately doesn’t matter.

He doesn’t show. Sadie waits and waits for almost two hours, but Lars never shows up.

With a heavy sigh, she scoots her chair back. It scrapes loudly on the tile floor. She can feel eyes on her as she walks out the restaurant alone. Her heart wobbles painfully in her chest. She bites down on her lip to stop it from quivering. Hands clenched tight in fists, Sadie glares up at the sky, fighting the sting of tears.

Wasn’t the whole point of her little vacation to help her get over Lars? Or, at least, get enough distance to put her feelings in check. And yet, here she is! Not even a full day back in Beach City, and she’s on the verge of bawling her eyes out because he stood her up.

_Ugh! Why does she keep doing this to herself?_

He is  _not_ her boyfriend, Sadie stubbornly reminds herself. He’s just some jerk she sleeps with sometimes…

She’s known of Lars for a long time, the town not big enough for her to not notice the bushy haired boy in her youth. But they’re a little over a year apart in age, and were in different grades. So if she, as a little girl, saw him in passing and fleetingly thought he was kind of cute, Sadie never thought anything would come of it. And when Lars walked into the Big Donut during her second summer of working there, quietly asking about the help wanted sign on the door, her only hope was that they could become friends if and when he got the job. Which had been such a long road of struggle to get to, for even if they had similar interests, constantly joked around, and had some of the best conversations when they’re alone, Lars almost always clammed up in public. Acted as if he was embarrassed to be seen with her, ashamed to have a connection with someone that… What? Wasn’t cool? Wasn’t some leggy bimbo? She isn’t sure. But eventually that changed, and he stopped being as huge of a jerk by allowing them to be seen outside of work together.

 _Allowing_ _them to be seen together?_  Had she really been giddy that first time he didn’t flinch away when she sat next to him in public? What a low bar! How did she get so tangled up in him that she didn’t see how shitty he was to her back then.

And, even after his pseudo apologies for his past behavior, he’s _still_ a jerk. A jerk with a laugh that makes her skin all tingly. A jerk with eyes that gaze so tenderly at her in the dead of night, it makes her insides melt. And whose kisses makes her weak in the knees. And he always surprises her with oyster crackers, and somehow manages to make her giggle when she wants to be angry, and rubs her back when she’s feels crappy, and holds her hand while they watch dumb reality shows, and…

“Ugh!” Sadie groans out loud, aggravatedly kicking the air. “I can’t do this anymore!”

The Fryman family stare at her weirdly from their stand, the trio of men averting their gazes and whistling an offbeat tune together when she notices them. Sadie sheepishly turns away, and continues on her walk home.

She just feels so _stupid._

With every step she takes, a burning fury blazes stronger inside her. She doesn’t even notice where she’s headed when she makes a turn that doesn’t lead to her house.

Sadie soon finds herself standing in front of Lars’s home. She stomps up the porch steps. She doesn’t even think about the possibility of being greeted by his mom or dad when her fist pounds aggressively on the door. She doesn’t even care in the moment. She’s so livid, she mentally curses his parents for bringing the boy into the world.

When no one answers, Sadie has to resist the urge to kick it down. Scowling at the white slab of wood, Sadie lets out a frustrated groan through clenched teeth. She then beats on the door with both fists, the rapid fire of thumps matching the hot rush of blood pounding in her ears.

The door finally swings open, and Lars glares right over her head. It only takes him a split second to sense her, however, and Lars looks down. His expression instantly softens, but Lars stares at her like he’s stunned that it’s _her_ standing there. Sadie opens her mouth to yell at him, but she takes in his appearance -- hair wild, bony shoulders sagged, dark lashes dewy, and red tinting the whites of his tired eyes-- and she pinches her lips back together to stop herself from asking him what’s wrong. His gaze darts from her frowning face to her pretty blue dress, then to the fists shaking at her sides before returning to her angry eyes.

“Shit,” he finally says in a hushed whisper, before he glares at his feet and hisses more harshly, “ _Shit!_ ”

Sadie’s eyes go wide when he roughly smacks his forehead into the knuckles of his fist, bitterly muttering to himself that he was an idiot as he steps away from the doorway so she could come inside. Her anger is offset with concern, watching him walk aimlessly in circles as he tugs his hair.

“I totally fucking spaced, Sades,” he says in way of apology, cracked voice sounding beyond frustrated with himself. His eyes are glassy when he stops pacing, his hand hesitantly reaching for her. She’s so blindsided she doesn’t even think when his forefinger timidly grazes over the back of her hand, she just instinctively weaves their fingers together. He lets out a tiny breath of relief, but that distressed look in his eyes doesn’t fade. “Today’s been utterly fucked.”

“Lars, what’s going on?” Sadie asks worriedly, her anger pretty much dissipated. “What happened?”

He shakes his head, hand squeezing her fingers as he silently leads her up to his bedroom in the attic. Once there, he drops her hand. He starts his pacing again, brows knitting together.

His room is tidier than the last time she’s seen it, which makes it easier to notice the destruction created by whatever’s upsetting him. She can see where he had kicked at the wall, and the fresh dents are right above the shattered remains of a broken game controller. Fret consumes her. When she looks back at him she frowns. Lars is still pacing aimlessly. He looks so distraught, it’s really starting to frighten her.

“Lars?” Sadie calls to him gently, going to stand beside him. She cautiously grabs ahold of his elbow, and his pacing ceased. “Please tell me what’s wrong.”

Seeing that he’s freaking her out, Lars inwardly curses and tries to take a calming breath. It doesn’t work. Still, he straightens his back and spits out what’s had him reeling into despair.

“My mom’s in the hospital.”

“What?” Sadie gasps, petite hand flying to cover her mouth in shock.

“She has jaundice, or something?” Lars tries to explain in a rush to keep from falling apart, but the shaky caliber of his voice proves it’s not quite working. He fists his tuft of hair. “She checked in the hospital the other day. They hadn’t figured out what was causing it yet. But her liver started failing, and...And she’s getting an emergency transplant, so she...She’s going into surgery like _right now._ ”

“Lars,” Sadie tries to break through his panic. He’s starting to hyperventilate. She tenderly cups his elbow again, but he barely acknowledges her touch.

“And I’m _here_ , because I’m too much of a _coward_ togo sit in the waiting room with tatay ...I-I mean, my dad.”

Sadie rubs his arm, unsure what to say. He plummets onto his bed, sitting on the edge with his head hung.

“And it’s bull, I know it. But I can’t handle being in the same building as all that. What if she doesn’t … The new liver could fail too, and she can… I can’t handle it. And there’s absolutely nothing I can do, ya know? Other than sit here and be _useless_. Fuck, why am I such a waste of space?”

“Lars,” Sadie protests sadly, “that’s not true.”

Lars scoffs, glaring at the floor when she takes hold of his chin with her thumb and forefinger. He doesn’t jerk away from the touch, but he doesn’t readily lift his head when she nudges him.

“It’s not,” she urges. “You are not useless. Lars, you’re such a great person when you want to be. You have so much potential, I… I think you could do just about anything.”

His heart skips a beat. She spoke with such earnest, he knows she’s not saying it just to make him feel better. She genuinely believes that. And the way she’s looking at him now is indescribable. If he was even half of what she thought him to be…

But he’s not.

With a sigh, Lars takes her wrist, intent to push her away. But his treacherous fingers link with hers, his thumb drawing zigzags on her knuckle.

“I’m so sorry this is happening to you, your family,” Sadie goes on to say, shoulders sagging slightly as she looks at him with genuine sorrow. “But it’s only natural to be afraid, and no one can fault you for that. And I know there’s nothing I can say to make you feel better, but I’m here to help in any way I can.”

He doesn’t say anything in response. Lars just nods and pulls her to him as he scoots back on the bed, seating her between his long legs while his arms wrap tight around her. He hides his face in her bosom. Every stupid emotion that’s been raging inside him bubbles to the surface.

His shoulders start to shake violently, and the top of her dress becomes moist with tears. Sadie hugs him closer, rubbing his back and resting her cheek on his head. She rocks them gently from side to side, and lets him cry it out on her chest. His muffled sobs and her soothing hums are the only sounds to fill the room for a long while.

“Sorry,” he sniffles when he’s done. Lars slowly raises his head. He looks apologetically at her soaked dress top. Sadie gives him a small, sad smile. His face is red. Damp lashes frame tired, bloodshot eyes. His nose is twitchy as he tries to suck up watery snot. He scrubs his face harshly on his sleeve. His face comes back redder, but less wet. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she whispers. Sadie cups his jaw, forcing Lars to look at her. “I don’t… I don’t mind.”

He tries to give her a smile of gratitude, but it crumbles quickly. Her thumbs brush his flushed cheeks, their gazes hold for a long moment, and then she’s kissing him. Her lips on his are sweet and tender, and the kiss consoles him into a lulled state. His own lips are salty and yielding, and he sighs soundlessly into her mouth.

She’s not certain when she started straddling him, but she’s perched securely on his lap. Her hands are gripping his shirt, her mouth only leaving his long enough to free him of it. Sadie’s hands caress his chest, the skin warm beneath her, feeling his body tremor at her gentle touch. He hugs her middle, so tight that his fingers crumple into the blue of her dress, as if he’s afraid she’ll disappear. She’s barely able to pull the dress off.

Sadie presses Lars back until he’s lying on the bed, kissing him sweetly, messing up his hair even more with her fingers before tenderly massaging his shaved scalp.

The bare flesh of her soft belly teasingly graze his flat stomach. A spark shoots through her, and by the way Lars trembles, she knows he felt it too. So she lays flat for a moment so the round fullness of her bra clad breasts can meet his solid chest. His groan is soft. His hold on her is firm. She keeps kissing him, hunger mixing into the comforting press of her lips on his, her hips rolling as she grinds down on him in a slow circular motion. And any pain or sadness lingering inside him washes away, if only for as long as she’s touching him, kissing him.

“Sadie,” he whispers her name like it’s a holy thing, hushed and hot over her upper lip.

Her mouth travels down his neck. Lars silently gasps when she licks a heart over his pulse point. She slides back on his lap, fingers undoing his fly. He lifts his hips off the bed, and she rids him of his jeans and underwear, peppering the newly revealed skin with more adoring kisses as she does it.

Her bra and panties are flung away before she returns to her spot on his lap. He stares up at her like it’s the first time; like her naked body is the most gorgeous thing in the world. His large hand shakes when it comes up to cradle her neck, fingers curling into the blonde tresses almost reverently, those big brown eyes of his never leaving hers; like she’s the most wonderful being to ever grace the planet earth and he’s unworthy of her touch. It’s all nonsense, but his starry gaze warms her all over.

His mouth opens, perhaps to say what his eyes have already told her, but she steals his voice by taking his length into her hand.

He’s so thick, her little fingers barely wrap around him. The stark difference in their skin tones never looked more beautiful, his sunburst tan and her creamy white clashed together as she strokes him lovingly. He worshipfully sighs her name again. A shiver rakes over her, and she sits up to guide the engorged, blushing head to her entrance.

She doesn’t tease, too eager to please and make him feel good. Love on him.

Sadie immediately envelopes him in her heat, taking him so easily it’s almost as if he was meant to be there. She moans at the pleasant feeling of him stretching her to the hilt. Completing her. Lars’s head tosses back with a deep groan, sinking further into the pillow, neck exposed and vulnerable. She can see his adam's apple bob, and Sadie felt compelled to kiss it, teeth lightly grazing the tender flesh surrounding it. He  _curses_ her name this time, the sound coming out as a small croak. It makes the corners of her mouth quirk up.

Hands now flat on his chest, his heartbeat pounding with life under it, feeling the muscles work as it rise and falls with each heavy breath, she rides him slowly. Each undulation of her hips, every push and pull of their joined bodies, makes them gasp and shudder. Their eyes, lidded and heated, stay locked on one another. She watches his bottom lip quiver with each inhale, watches the red coloring his face creep down to heat his throat and chest, watches the twinkle in his blissed out gaze shimmer brighter the longer he stares at her.

Sadie focuses on his pleasure, never fully lifting off him and purposefully clenching around his arousal when she rotates her hips on the way down. Lars bucks up with each descent, knocking little gasps out of her as he meets her grinding motions, content to match her sensually slow pace.

He squeezes at her hips and thighs, assisting her movements, fingers digging into the skin to the point that she’ll probably have bruises. The sting just adds another layer to the sensations rippling through her.

Long fingers that had once been so clumsy just months ago, now deftly strum her clit in perfect time with their thrusts. Sadie angles her head to the side, an obscene mewl clawing out of her.

“Yeah, baby,” he calls out breathlessly, voice barely audible.

He almost looks delirious, so visibly affected by her obvious pleasure. Lidded, glazed over eyes appear black as he continues to stare reverently up at her, and something about his gaze and the adoring caliber of his voice when he called her _baby_ makes her stomach drop. A fluttering warmth blooms from her lower abdomen. It spreads through her veins, tingling her fingertips as the digits press firmer onto his chest, making her heart hammer even more rapidly, heating her skin to a deep pink, and pooling between thighs. Lars softly moans at the feeling of her walls clenching around him. His attentive fingers move a little faster against the little bundle of nerves, and Sadie finds herself working harder to match him. The mattress starts to creak noisily. The back of the bedframe thumps into the wall.

“Cum for me,” he hushly begs. “Please cum for me, baby.”

She nods diligently at his plea. Fire blazes in her belly. Sweat beads down her bouncing breasts. Her thighs burn from effort. The slick sound of their flesh slapping echos in her ears as she frantically moves atop him. And suddenly all she sees is _light_ , hot and white. It flashes over her in endless waves.

Sadie chokes on the air. She seizes before she collapses on his chest, a trembling mess. Lars takes her happily, arms locking around her. He’s been steadily grinding into her, but the precise movements falter in seconds.

“Ohhh G-god, Sadie,” he moans shakily as he falls apart with her. He’s crying again. She can tell by the wavering hitch in his voice. Her walls keep pulsing around him, milking him for all he’s worth. He hugs her tighter against him, and she can feel every twitch and tremor of his body. “I love you so fucking much.”

“Lars,” she whimpers, but swallows back any other four letter L words that are begging to flow out of her.

Sadie closes her eyes, and tries her best to ignore his mutterings as she hugs him back.

He doesn’t know what he’s saying. His lips are moving without his brain’s knowledge. He doesn’t mean it. _Sweet nothings,_ that’s all it is.

But it all suddenly feels too intimate for her to bear.

Him holding her to his chest like this, her cheek resting between puckered brown nipples, hearing his heartbeat thump, his warm seed leaking down her thigh, feeling him soften inside her as his breathing evens out into that of slumber… His voice still sleepily murmuring her name. It’s all too much. She squeezes her eyes more firmly shut, stopping tears from producing. Her heart aches.

She can’t do this anymore.


	8. Autumn III

Sadie lays with Lars for a long while, both slipping in and out of slumber.

When she’s awake, her mind keeps looping the same thought over and over. _This is the last time they’re going to do this_. _This is the last time she’s going to do this_. Loud and abrasive in the peaceful silence, Sadie keeps pushing the thought aside in favor of dozing off. Tucked beneath his chin, his long limbs encircling her, Sadie listens to his soft snores and the steady beat of his heart until her mind is peacefully blank. However, the thoughts circle around her head when she awakens again. So Sadie now silently watches with lidded eyes as the evening light, pouring in from the windows above, dims into darkness. She frowns.

It’s getting late.

With a heavy sigh and heart, Sadie slowly disentangles herself from Lars. Using the heel of her palm, she rubs the sleep out of her eye while she yawns. Sitting up for a better vantage point, careful not to jostle her bedmate as she does so, Sadie glances around the illy lit room to pinpoint the location of her clothes.

Once she’s spied them, Sadie takes a brief moment to muster the strength to move to the other side of the bed, scooting slowly in hopes of getting out without making the mattress creak. She doesn’t even make it a full two inches forward before an arm hooks around her waist to halt her. Sadie stiffens, turning her head to look down at Lars.

Half his face still buried in his pillow, his non-hidden eye opens and blinks sleepily at her.

“Don’t leave,” he whispers pleadingly.

His tired voice is weak and small, but the slender arm around her is solid. His hold on her is strong, but she could easily break away if she wanted. So Sadie’s hand wraps around his wrist and lifts his arm off her, and she keeps the limb hovering in the air until she’s comfortably lying down again. Lars snuggles closer, nuzzling his face into her hair, when she lowers his arm around her middle, and he falls back to sleep almost instantly.

 _This is the last time she’s going to sleep with him_ , Sadie’s brain reminds her as that terribly familiar ache settles over her heart once more. She closes her eyes, exhales a heavy breath through her nose, and allows herself to relish in Lars’s body heat blanketing her. _This is the last time._

But it’s not.

She awakens to dawn’s gentle sunbeams warming her naked skin, and Lars peppering her neck with tender kisses. She finds herself giggling, the moist kisses tickling her. She can feel his responding smile on her skin, as well as a short husky breath of laughter that makes Sadie’s stomach drop, before his tongue begins to swirl circles over her pulsepoint. Heat spikes her blood.

Lying on his side behind her, his hardened length pressed enticingly against her backside, Lars’s large hand caresses her soft tummy and down her thick thigh. Her skin tingles at the contact.

Squeezing her knee, he takes her leg and hooks it over his hip. His other hand tenderly fondles her breast, and Sadie moans in a heavenly daze when he finally eases inside her. They lazily make love this way well into the later half of the morning.

Afterwards, they held each other close, drowsily staring at the puffy clouds slowly floating past his ceiling high windows until his cell phone starts ringing. Lars frowns at the insistent noise, groaning as he sits up to send a glare towards the rarely used alarm clock on his nightstand. It’s barely a quarter past eleven. The only person that would call him this early -- excluding the occasional _‘you’re late for work, again’_ call from Sadie -- would be... _tatay!_  

And just like that, the happy little bubble they’re in bursts. Uneasy dread churns in Lars’ stomach as his mind flashes with what horrific possibilities await him with this single phone call from his dad.

Regardless of his fears, Lars still presses a quick kiss on Sadie’s nose, however, before he sighs and reluctantly crawls out of bed to scramble over to the other side of the room. Lars digs his phone out of the stack of boxes that line the wall, where he had carelessly tossed it the day before in frustration. The beeping ringtone, one that Sadie only vaguely recognizes as the theme of some fake-deep anthology show, finally falls silent after a beep, followed by a shaky _“hello,”_ from Lars.

Concerned, Sadie watches intently from her spot on the bed as Lars walks around in circles, his head nodding along to whatever his father is saying on the other line. The call ends with a soft _“okay”_ from Lars, and in a matter of seconds he’s back to being curled up next to her. The tip of their noses brush while their eyes contemplatively gaze at each other. He murmurs a recap on the conversation: The surgery had went well. His mother is still unconscious from the anesthetics, but her body appears to be taking the new liver without problem. And his dad is going to stay at the hospital until she wakes up.

“You should go too,” Sadie whispers. “I’m sure your mom will want to see you when she opens her eyes.”

Lars nods a bit hesitantly, his top teeth lightly worrying his bottom lip while his hand slides around until it finds hers under the covers.

“Would you… Would you go with me?” Lars asks so softly it makes Sadie’s heart ache. “It’s just… My mom has always been my champion, as cheesy as that sounds. Like, back in middle school I had a teacher that was always messing with me, and one time I got kicked out of class for refusing to stop wearing nail polish.”

“Nail polish?” Sadie whispers back, lifting her brow as if she wasn’t sure she heard him correctly. Lars nods with a faint blush heating his cheeks. He’d forgotten she probably didn’t know about his awkward emo stage.

“ _Black_ nail polish,” he affirms. “Trust me, it looked cool. But my teacher was such a hardass about the whole thing. So he calls my parents down, and my mom chucked an eraser at the teacher’s head during the conference meeting.” Lars laughs at the memory, but the soft chuckle swiftly turns stiff, and his lower lip starts to quiver. He bites down to stop its trembling, and he takes half a second to attempt to calm himself before continuing. “She even scolded him for making me miss a day of class over something so stupid. It was the coolest thing to me back then, to see her take on that prick who’s twice her size, and I just… The thought of seeing her all weak, tubes in her nose --” He swallows the lump forming in his throat, and sighs. His gaze lowers to their intertwined fingers, and he holds it a little tighter. “It’ll just make me feel better if you were there, okay?”

She nods, the corner of her mouth hitching up slightly at his timid confession. “Of course.”

His own lips curve up into a tentative smile after a silent sigh of relief, his hand squeezing hers once more in thanks before Lars presses chaste kisses onto her nose, cheek, and then her mouth. When he pulls back, he doesn’t rush to look away like he usually does. Though she can easily see his genuine gratitude towards her in his somber expression, there’s something else shining brilliantly in his eyes. Her heart skips a beat at the way he looks at her in that moment, and any remnant of the vow she made herself in the early twilight hours vanishes from her brain as her eyelids droop to a close and her lips find his once more.

When Sadie breaks the kiss, her eyes flutter open to the sight of Lars staring at her with an expression that seems to border on amazement. Sadie lifts an eyebrow at him in silent inquiry. With a blink, Lars seems to realize he’s been gaping at her for almost a full minute. His cheeks burn red, his eyes cast down to the sheets as his lips part to exhale a humorless laugh that is almost inaudible to her ears.  But Lars’s fingers stay firmly entwined with hers as he sits up. He eases out of bed then, silently tugging Sadie along and helping her off the mattress.

Collecting clothes into a bundle in their arms, they walk naked from his attic bedroom to the bathroom. Silently, they shower together. He washes her hair. She scrubs his back. And they hug under the warm spray until their fingers start to prune.

They take turns wiping the other down with a fluffy blue towel. Lars gently smiles when he has to get down on his knees to properly dry off her calves, and Sadie blushes when he kisses her belly while she pats his head dry.

They turn away from each other while they got dressed, which seems silly if either thought about it for more than a second. She puts on yesterday’s dress after stepping into a pair of doughnut themed boxers she stole from his dresser, while he slips on skinny jeans and a black shirt with some 70’s band logo on it.

They walk down the stairs to the kitchen, eating a quick breakfast in comfortable silence. Their fingers link on their own accord as they ate, Lars giving hers a good squeeze every other minute. Each squeeze was accompanied by a shy glance, an appreciative smile, and a wave of bittersweetness. Sadie strengthens her grip on his hand, her thumb drawing comforting circles on his skin. Their hands stay linked as they put their dirty dishes into the sink, and they stay that way until Lars is forced to let go in order to push his scooter out of the garage.

As they zip down the streets to the hospital parking lot, Sadie holds him tighter than necessary, her cheek pressed into his back.

Lars calls his dad when they arrive to get the floor and room number. After going through the front desk, strolling down long white hallways and riding large elevators, they reach their destination. Mr. Barriga greets Sadie with a mild look of surprise before he grins at her and his son, hugging them both.

After a deep breath, Lars goes to stand next to his mother. He idly glances over at the beeping and hissing machines nearby, each displaying numbers and symbols he can’t decipher a meaning for, until he dares to actually look at the frail woman sleeping in the hospital bed. The sight is just as rattling as he had feared it to be, but he also notices that the color in her cheeks and around her eyes seem a lot better than it had been for a while. Still, he has to choke back a sob. A heavy weight hits him in his chest, growing more and more unbearable with each passing millisecond that he stands next to his mother’s prone body. Lars’s eyes burn with the sting of unshed tears, his teeth sink painfully into his quivering bottom lip, and he can feel his heartbeat thumping in his throat as he inhales quick burst of air through his nose. Shit. His heart is racing. His eyes dart towards the exit. He… He can’t deal with this. He can’t...he… He needs to…

A small, soft hand squeezes around his long fingers.

A quick glance at the tiny blonde beside him, and the urge to flee leaves his system. Lars flashes her a tiny smile of thanks after a shaky breath and a sniffle, and Sadie smiles back comfortingly.  

The rest of the day is spent quietly in hospital.

Lars and Sadie share a seat, their fingers woven together once more. They watch the tiny TV in the top corner of the room, flipping between cartoons and cooking shows. Mr. Barriga chats conversationally with Sadie, asking simple questions about the happenings of her life since he last saw her, before somehow segueing into a discussion of DIY crafts he’s seen on the internet.

Dr. Maheswaran and a few nurses pop in and out over the course of the day, checking charts and spewing out encouragements to the room.

Later into the evening, Lars’s dad leaves for about an hour or so to shower and take a power nap. Lars plays games on his phone with his free hand while the other fiddles with Sadie’s fingers like her digits were a stress toy of some kind. She doesn’t mind. Sadie turns her attention to her own cell phone to text her mom, mostly to give an update on her whereabouts.

At some point Sadie leaves to use the restroom, returning to find Lars muttering to his mother with fresh tears streaming down his cheeks. He quickly wipes his face on his sleeve when he notices Sadie’s return, frowning at the floor as Sadie reclaims her spot next to him. Wordlessly, she pulls him into an embrace. Lars snuggles into her side without complaint, burying his face in her hair and inhaling deep until he feels calm enough to resurface. They shuffle in the chair a bit, refocusing their attention back to the tiny television.

Mr. Barriga returns not too long after that and he gives them money for the vending machine, so they have a junk food feast that ties them over until dinner in the cafeteria is sold.  

When sunlight truly fades into an inky night sky, with Lars’s mom haven’t so much as flexed her fingers, dread fills Lars’s gut.

“Why don’t you go on home for the night?” His dad suggests to the pair with a sad little smile. “I’ll call you if anything changes.”

Despondent, Lars’s head barely nods before he hops out the chair. He shoves his hands into his pockets, glancing in his mother’s direction with a sad frown before looking at his dad. Lars and his dad exchange a few quick words in a language Sadie couldn’t discern, though even her untrained ear could hear how clunkily the foreign words fell from Lars’s lips in comparison the fluidity spoken from the lanky man’s father. Lars nods again, glaring at the ground as he spins on his heels to stomp out the door.

Sadie silently follows him, surveying their surroundings with a bit uncertainty as she tries to recall if they’re going the right way or not. But they find the elevator they had taken up from the ground floor soon enough. Sadie frowns as she watches Lars jab anxiously at the down button until the elevator doors slide open for them to enter. Once they’re inside the lift, his fist slams against the G button. Lars slumps against a wall, his glassy eyes rolling up to glare at the flat light fixture acting as the ceiling.

“Hey, it’ll… it’ll be okay,” Sadie whispers comfortingly, unsure what else she could say to help.

“You don’t know that,” he grumbles softly.

To that, Sadie sighs, shoulders deflating as she nods sadly for she truly _didn’t_ know. But she shrugs a second later, her hand finding his for what had to be the millionth time that day to give his fingers a reassuring squeeze.

“Yeah, but it’ll be okay,” she firmly repeats. “No matter what, I got your back. Okay?”

Lars nods in response, his heart swelling because he knows she means it. She’ll be there for him, without fail, no matter what happens. That all too familiar warmth, thick and sweet as sap, floods his veins and he bends down to kiss her forehead without a second thought, his nose brushing along her hairline for a quick whiff of apples and cinnamon before he stands straight again.

“You’re too good to me,” he whispers sincerely. Her responding smile, so small and tender, is all sunshine. Even though he’s staring straight ahead at the silver elevator doors, his periphery is blinded by its radiance. It melts away the cold dread icing over his heart and unsettling his stomach, if only for a moment. Lars finds himself bending down again to pull her into a tight embrace. His best friend. His lover. His Sadie… Even now, when he would like nothing more than to curl up in a ball and die, she makes him feel like life isn’t a complete pile of shit. He presses an open mouth kiss onto her neck, and she holds him tighter. _He loves her so fucking much._ He kisses her neck again, and his heart is pounding painfully in his chest when her arms relax their hold on him. He takes a second to unsuccessfully steady his shaky breath, his forehead now resting on hers as his gaze pierces deep into her eyes.  “Sadie, I… I want to be good to you too.”

The heartfelt words are spoken softly, his quivering voice cracking slightly. The light warmth of his breath tickles her lips before he captures them in a tender kiss.

Sadie hums a blissful note of acceptance into the liplock.

There’s a part of her that wants to tell him that he _is_ good to her. In fact, Lars has been a better friend and person since the aftermath of Steven inhabiting Lars’s body for a day. The bizarre event feels like a lifetime ago, and despite the venomous thoughts she had towards him yesterday evening that said the contrary… Lars isn’t a heartless jerk. He’s just struggling his way through life, and damn it all if she doesn’t want to lighten the heavy load on his shoulders.

However, there’s also another part of her, residing in the back corners of her mind, that tries to remind her of the countless times she’s set herself up for heartbreak by overestimating his feelings.

But Sadie simply continues to kiss him back, clutching at his shirt in ardor as Lars’s tongue glides over the seam of her lips. His fingers weave into her tresses, lightly scratching at her scalp.  Her back is suddenly flat against the wall, and she’s pleasantly sandwiched between it and Lars.

The elevator dings as to comes to a stop.

Reluctantly, Lars and Sadie pull apart just as the doors glide open. A small group of people nod and politely smile at them in greeting as they join them in the lift. Sadie waves back at them, while Lars stares straight ahead, trying his best to discreetly regulate his breathing. Lars keeps an arm draped around Sadie though, uncaring of how the strangers might perceive them as a pair for the rest of the silent elevator ride to the ground floor.

“I can spend the night again, if you want,” Sadie quietly offers once they’re in the parking lot.

Lars nods, thankful he wouldn’t have to spend the drive back to their neighborhood trying to muster the courage to ask her to stay.

The second they’re back in his room, Lars pulls her onto his bed, seating her on his lap and melding his mouth with hers in erratic kisses. He peels his underwear off her body, sighing blissfully when she nibbles on his lower lip while his hands slips back beneath her dress to squeeze the round globes of her rear. Her fingers massage his scalp. His mouth travels down the curve of her neck, and heatedly kisses his way back up to her sweet lips.

The day has left him a ball of emotions, and Lars honestly just wants to shut his brain off for a while. He also wants to thank her for being there today. And, after sitting around helplessly for most of the day, he really just wants to feel _useful_. So Lars rubs up and down the back of her thick thighs, lying flat on his red duvet before patting her bottom in that way Sadie knows all too well.

Sadie blushes, but she nods and shimmies up his torso.

His head now hidden beneath the skirt of her dress, her scent filling his nose, her honeyed juices coating his languidly moving tongue, Lars softly hums in delight as he lets himself drown in her.

And when she cums and becomes too weak to hold herself up, Lars gently maneuvers them so she’s on her back with her dress bunched up under her chest. When Sadie tries to pull him up, intent on reciprocating, Lars shakes his head.

He kisses her inner thighs for a moment, sweetly caressing his warm lips along the creamy skin, before giving her over-sensitive bud his attention again. She moans his name, and it sounds so good to his ears she might as well be singing it. Her back arching and her hips squirming from his devoted worship, Lars’s fingers sink into the cushion of her waist to help keep his mouth sealed on her as Sadie cries out in pleasure. He keeps licking and kissing and delving inside her, the tip of his tongue writing his full name in cursive within her folds, not stopping even when his jaw starts to hurt.

Lars groans. Her legs are tossed over his shoulders, his hands adoringly kneading her rump, lifting her slightly off the bed while he alternates from fluttery flicks around her entrance to laving the flat of his tongue over her clit in a rhythm that makes Sadie thighs clench and tremble until her entire body is thrashing.

Fully resting on the damp mattress again, Lars tentatively licks and suckles the delicate flesh of her pillowy nether lips until she calms down from her climax, only to delve his insatiable tongue back inside her.

After she cums the fourth time, a much more subdued version of the first three that’s all gasps and tiny tremors shaking her thighs by his ears, Sadie tugs on his hair. His head tilts back in her grip, his glistening lips and lidded eyes divulging his desire to continue. Sadie weakly shakes her head. Breathlessly she tells him she can’t take anymore. So he kisses up her belly, wiping her slick off his chin, and lays his head in the valley of her breasts. Sadie envelopes him in her arms with the last bit of her energy.

Lars falls asleep listening to her heart beat, murmuring unintelligible promises to an already snoozing Sadie that he’ll always be there for her. He’ll be good to her, the way he should have always been, because he loves her. Holding her close, consciousness slipping away from him in her warm embrace, he feels so stupid for ever denying it.

He loves her.


	9. Autumn IV

Lars takes off work for the next week.

During that time, Lars spends his days and nights with his dad at the hospital. Sadie texts him throughout day, doing her best to distract him with silly jokes and random anecdotes about that day’s customers or some random thing that Steven has done or said when the boy stopped by the shop.

Near the end of the week, they play a game where one of them writes a phrase using only emojis, and the other has to guess what it says. It was rather amusing. They were able to waste a full afternoon on it, Sadie tittering to herself at the wild misinterpretations Lars sent her when he attempts to decode her messages. The game ends a bit abruptly, however, when Lars sends an eye emoji, a heart, and a smiley faced emoji girl with blonde hair. Sadie is certain he meant _‘I love blondes’_ , but the implication of the blonde girl being _her_ still pops into her head. It makes Sadie feel all warm and fuzzy, like she’s wrapped up in her favorite blanket.

She pretends not to see the text, though, waiting just long enough to text back with a change in subject so it wouldn’t seem weird.

One night, they watch whatever horror movies play on cable networks. From her bundle of blankets and chewy candies in her dark room, Sadie texts him mocking observations about the characters and their dumb actions. Sitting in his mother’s quiet hospital room, Lars doesn’t make as many snarky remarks about the edited for TV film as he normally would, but he grins at each message he receives from Sadie. When midnight creeps up on them, Sadie sends him a goodnight text. He sends one back. Her phone buzzes in her hand before she’s able to put it away when he sends another text. _‘Happy Halloween btw.’_

The day his mom wakes out of her coma, he calls Sadie to ramble excitedly for all of a minute before he says he has to go. He texts her sporadically throughout the day to relay her with the conversation he’s had with his groggy mother, and then with what information he could gather from the chatter between the doctor and his father. All good things.

The night after, Lars is crawling through the basement window of her house. He’s smiling wide when she nearly screams at his sudden appearance in her bedroom, and he narrowly dodges the stuffed animal she tossed at his head instinctively. Lars scoops her up in his arms merrily after snickering out an apology for spooking her, wasting no time in kissing her senseless and yanking off her pajama bottoms.

“I told my parents I was getting dinner,” he chuckles a tad unevenly, thirty minutes later, still a little short of breath as he pulls his shirt back on. Lars almost looks shy when he turns back to see her watching him dress, her bed sheets wrapped around her still nude body. “But I uh...I really wanted to see you.”

“I missed you too, Lars.”

He grins sweetly.

“I gotta go,” Lars tells her as he fastens his belt, leaning down to peck her lips goodbye. “We’ll hang for real in a day or so if things stay good with my mom.”

Sadie nods at his promise, chasing his lips for one more kiss.

“It will,” she encourages him to believe. His little smile widens, his top teeth flashing pearly white before he gives her one more farewell kiss. Sadie watches as he goes to climb out her window. “Oh, and Lars? Don’t forget to actually pick up dinner.”

Lars’ only response is a chuckle, the window slamming shut behind him.

And, true to his word, Lars texts her two days later asking if she wanted to go out. ‘ _And wear the blue dress if ya want’,_ he adds after she agrees to see him in a few minutes _, ‘cuz I owe you a date’._

Sadie stares at her phone, her insides instantly turning into a jittery mess before she shakes her head to snap out of it. Sadie sprints towards her dresser to get ready, mentally cursing at the pile of dirty clothes where her blue dress currently resides. It didn’t really matter what she wore, Sadie reminds herself as she slips on black jeggings and a light sweater.

“I got it!” Sadie yells out to her mother when there’s a knock at the door. Perhaps she rushes to the door a bit too eagerly, but at least she doesn’t swing it off its hinges the way she wants to when she opens it.

Lars smirks down at her, as if her show of restraint by leaving the door intact did nothing to hide her excitement from him. But his eyes dart down almost immediately to her lips. A thrill shoots through her, and Sadie’s arms lock around him the moment Lars leans down for a kiss. It’s sweet. Tender. Lacking the urgent ardor of the last kiss he greeted her with, but no less passionate. It leaves her breathless when their mouths pull apart with a soft _smack_.

Lars stares at her for a second, watching her cheeks warm to a visible pink, before grinning at her.

“Hi,” she titters breathlessly upon such a warm reception, shyly allowing her hand to brush his. He takes it without a second thought, large palm devouring her petite fingers. “Nice to see you remembered where the front door is.”

Lars snorts, rolling his eyes at her teasing. “Like you didn’t love me sneaking through your window like they do in the movies.”

“Yeah, the most romantic of entryways,” Sadie laughs as they walk down her driveway, brown leaves crunching under their feet. “Nothing creepy at all about a dude crawling in my window in the middle of night.”

Lars sucks his teeth at that, but a playful smirk still tugs his lips.

“So how’s your mom?” she asks after a beat, only realizing once their feet hit the cement of the sidewalk that he hadn’t driven his scooter to pick her up.

“Better,” he tells her as they start walking together towards town. His tone hints that he doesn’t want to talk too much about it, but he remains cheery. “They think she’ll be able to come back home soon.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah,” Lars says before he clears his throat. Sadie watches his face pinch, clearly fighting to keep his emotions at bay. He shakes off whatever's clouding his brain. “But whatever, my baby. How was your week?”

“Pretty boring, honestly,” Sadie admits with a shrug. It’s also pretty taxing, doing all the shifts without him. “Glad you’ll be back to work soon.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” he bemoans, sagging down dramatically to lean his weight into her as if the mere mention of their job has drained him of energy. Sadie giggles, shoving him to stand on his own two feet, but he pulls her with him. Their sides collide, and they wobble a bit, causing them both to laugh as they settle back into a steady walking pace, only now Lars has an arm locked around her. “But honestly I’m kinda looking forward to work.”

“Really?” Sadie questions, tilting her head back to look up at him incredulously.

“Well, no. Not really,” he scoffs out laughingly. “But ya know, hocking doughnuts with you makes it feels like things are going back to normal. So it's like, _whatever_ . The _good_ whatever.”

Sadie nods in understanding. They fall into a comfortable silence as they walk. The occasional shuffle of leaves, a chirp of a bird, and the distant sound of the tide hitting the shore acts as their background music on the quiet afternoon. It’s nice. Peaceful even.  But excitement is buzzing a bit too intensely through Sadie.

“So… Uh, this date?” Sadie carefully prompts, unable to stop herself any longer. Lars stiffens a bit beside her. She instantly wonders once again if his phrasing in the their text messages had just been a joke, but that beat of humiliating panic is obliterated when Lars nods and squeezes her shoulder. Sadie smiles, relaxing her gait before even fully realizing that she too had become rigid. “What exactly does it entail?”

“And give away the surprise?” Lars snorts. “Yeah, right.”

“Oh, whatever, Lars.” Sadie rolls her eyes, her smile widening at the playfulness that’s creeping into his features. “You don’t even have anything planned, do you?”

His cheeks grow warm, and he scoffs indignantly.

“Have some faith. _Sheesh_. Of course, I have something planned. First, a lovely walk around town,” Lars states firmly, gesturing wildly around them as they reach the boardwalk.

“Because you forgot to charge your scooter again,” Sadie points out, but Lars ignores this fact.

“And now we’re headed to have lunch at the finest pizzeria in Beach City,” he continues.

“It’s literally the only one!”

“Pfft,” Lars huffs and bends down to scoop up some leaves. Crumpling them in his fist, he tosses it up in the air like confetti, bits of red and brown raining down on them. “It’s romantic as fuck, Sadie.”

“My apologies,” Sadie scoffs out a laugh, dusting the leaves out her hair. “Consider me wooed. ... _Crap_.”

Lars halts in his footsteps the moment she does. Sadie sighs, rubbing at her left eye, and blinking weirdly. Lars’ little smirk slips away.

“What’s up?” he asks.

Sadie sighs, “I think a little leaf got in my eye.”

“Aw, fuck. Sorry,” Lars spews out quickly, his face cringing. “Let me see.”

“I’m okay,” Sadie tries to wave off his concern. But Lars still cups her jaw, tilting her head back. The thumb of his free hand gently sweeps over the lid of her eye before she opens it. He squints intently at her, his brows furrowing in concentration and creating that little crease in his forehead that always makes her want to giggle. He looks so serious, the deep browns of his eyes blending perfectly into the black irises, as he leans in close.

“Don’t move,” he instructs her, gently pinching at her lashes before softly blowing at her eyeball. Sadie blinks a few times, her eye watering just enough for a small tear to leak out. Lars thumbs it away, inspecting her eye for a few seconds more before nodding to himself. “There. All good.”

“Thanks,” Sadie murmurs sweetly. Her stomach is doing backflips at the gentle way his large, warm hands are cradling her face. It makes her feel delicate and treasured, like she’s a fine piece of porcelain art.

Lars shrugs off her gratitude. His lingering hands still cradling her face, and he can feel her cheeks heat up when his thumb indulgently caresses the swell of her bottom lip. He watches, almost in a daze, as her lashes flutter at his touch. Her round eyes lock onto his, ever hopeful.

“Lars?”

His heart flits in his chest, while a shiver shot down his spine. The soft sound of her gasping his name always did something to him. Sadie stares back at him in mild bewilderment, and he can’t help but smile down at her. _I love you. I love you. I love you!_

His lips part as if to vocalize those three little words bouncing around his head. A small clattering sound catches his ear however. With a blink, he turns to see Mr. Fryman hauling two bags of trash toward the dumpster. Remembering their surroundings, and realizing just how _public_ their little display has been, Lars sharply shakes his head. This is so not the place to be all lovey dovey. Face red and breathing out a weak laugh, Lars lets his arms go limp and his hands fall away to be shoved into the pockets of his jacket.

 _Later_ , he mentally promises. Lars smirks at the thought. The moment they’re alone, he’ll love up on his girl. He starts to bend down, as if to seal the private declaration with a kiss, before once again remembering they’re standing openly on the boardwalk.

“S-sorry,” he sputters out, jolting back to stand straighter. His hand fidgets in his pocket for a split second before he fights through his nerves to reclaim her hand, tugging a slightly confused Sadie forward. “C-c’mon, I’m hungry.”

As they enter of Fish Stew Pizza, bell ringing overhead, it’s impossible to miss the chittering Cool Kids fill in the seats of a booth near the doorway. The merry group of teens smile brightly at Lars. The group, including a fourth person that Sadie has never seen before, waves the pair over.

“Lars! Sadie! Hi! This is my friend CC. She’s visiting for the week,” Jenny happily introduces the beautiful stranger.

“Hi,” CC greets, the melodic cadence of her accent making even Sadie blush.

“Hey,” Sadie and Lars both say, although Lars stutters over the simple word and speaks a bit too loud.

It still causes Jenny to coo and aww about how cute they are talking in unison and all. Lars blushes in response. Knowing Lars will want to pull away under the watchful gaze of the Cool Kids, Sadie lightens her hold on his hand in anticipation. Much to her surprise, however, their fingers stay intertwined.

Jenny scoots over and pats the cushion beside her. There’s a brief second where Lars glances at Sadie, and she responds with a small smile and a shrug. Taking this to mean she didn’t mind hanging with the group for a while, he nods for Sadie sit next to Jenny. The crowded booth doesn’t have enough room for both Sadie and Lars, so he slips his fingers free from her grip only so he can grab a chair from an empty table.

“We’re gonna give CC a tour of Beach City,” Buck mentions casually. “You guys should tag along.”

Sour Cream and Jenny nod in agreement.

“I’d love to get to know you better,” CC adds, flashing Lars a kind grin. There’s something familiar to Lars about CC’s pouty brown lips and striking green eyes, but he can’t place it. Regardless, he smiles back. “From what I hear, you’re a bit of an enigma.”

“Enigma?” Lars parrots back. CC nods.

“Mysterious,” she reiterates. Lars beams, relishing at the idea of the Cool Kids viewing him in such a way. “As nice as these guys were at describing you, they couldn’t really go too in depth.”

“Oh,” Lars responds, voice almost inaudible, the wind leaving his sails.

To this, Sour Cream and Jenny shrug a bit sheepishly. Buck makes a small humming noise that reads as him saying _“sad, but true”_. Sadie’s shoulders sag, and she wonders if Lars will ever let his guard down enough to truly befriend Buck, Jenny and Sour Cream. It seems such a shame that he hides himself from them. Sadie discretely reaches in his direction under the table, palming Lars’ knee. He stiffens in his seat when her fingers curl into the hole in his jeans to caress his skin. He shivers at the soft warmth of her touch. His eyes dart frantically around the table, and seeing no one noticed, his hand almost instantly covers hers.

“But that’s okay,” CC continues, her friendly grin turning flirtatious. “I like unlocking mysteries myself, anyway.”

Lars blinks, dumbfounded. His deflating smile stays in place for the girl, unsure how else to respond. CC giggles softly, her dainty hand reaching out to fall on his arm to caress his bicep. CC then feigns a gasp, complimenting him on the bit of muscle tone there. Lars puffs out his chest, smugly accepting the praise as the conversation turns to his workout routine. His spiel is pretty exaggerated, if not an outright lie, and perhaps a tad boastful at parts -- including an entirely unnecessary show of strength where Lars struggles to flex for the table.

Sadie frowns, rolling her eyes at the display. She tugs her hand free, and brings her it back to her lap.  But the rest of the group listened, and made comments of how much effort goes into working out and how they should form a fitness group like the moms on television.

“It’ll be hilarious,” Buck’s cool monotone declared, and Jenny laughs excitedly at the idea of wearing colorful spandex and leg warmers to jog around town.

Kiki swings by their table, conversing easily with her sister as she places a pizza the Cool Kids had apparently ordered onto the table. They all dig in, Sour Cream quick to invite Lars and Sadie to a slice. Causal chatter about their plans for the day fills the air between bites. Lars nods along, but eventually mutters that he and Sadie already have plans for the day.

“Oh, well, be sure to free some time for us,” CC boldly states with a striking smile. “I’m only here for a little while.”

“Huh? Oh. Um. Uh, sure,” Lars sputters out. Sadie’s frown deepens into a scowl, and she can feel her heart wilt as she slumps awkwardly in her seat.

“Ow!” Sour Cream suddenly exclaims, sending Jenny a harsh glare. “Why’d you kick me?”

“S-sorry! I wasn’t aiming for you,” Jenny apologizes, and she tosses CC a stern look. CC looks back in confusion. Sadie sighs through her nose and gets up, wordlessly walking towards the restrooms. Waiting until Sadie’s out of earshot, Jenny exclaims, “cool it it, girl. Sadie is his _girlfriend_!”

“Oh!” CC chimes, apologetically inching away from him. “Sorry.”

Lars just shrugs it off, not wanting to upset anyone or cause a scene. He simply takes another bite of pizza, doing his best to cool his features.

In the one stall bathroom of the restaurant, Sadie turns on the knob of the sink and washes her away the soap coating hands.

Just a bit of flirting. It didn’t mean anything. He didn’t even react to it it, really.  But he also didn’t turn that girl down either. And why should he? That girl is beautiful, and he’s _technically_ single and...

Sighing deeply, Sadie stares at her reflection in the mirror and frowns. She presses her damp finger to the smooth glass.

“This is stupid,” she firmly admits. This whole predicament, this constant back and forth on where their relationship stands, is beyond stupid. She can’t do this anymore, no matter how nice it feels to be in his arms or how much her hearts wants it. She needs to stop putting it off, because… Because… “I deserve better.”

She turns off the water, inhales deep, and storms back into the dining area with her head held high. She knows what she has to do. So Sadie marches over to their table, ready to make a speedy exit with her so-called date in tow, only to be shocked upon finding the table empty of all it’s occupants except Lars.

Before she could ask where everyone went, Lars stands up and explains that the trio plus guest had rushed off when Sour Cream’s phone alerted them that the free concert at the park was starting soon.

“You okay?” Lars lifts his brow at her, taking in her clenched fist. Sadie nods.  He doesn’t seem to be fully convinced, but he still smirks at her. “Okay, so you were kind of right about me not planning anything in particular. So, uh… Wanna hit up Funland? The movies? We could also meet Jenny, Buck, and Sour Cream at the park,” he tosses a few more suggestions her way, swinging his arm around her while they head towards the exit.

“Um, home?”

“Oh?” Surprise colors his tone, but he accepts her response without question. “‘Kay.”

They end up walking to Lars’s house in silence, Sadie too frazzled trying to find a way to breach the subject weighing her heart to correct the misunderstanding. She had wanted to go back to _her_ house.

They settle on the living room sofa, and he pulls up something for them to watch. She needs to say something. They _need_ to talk. But her mouth refuses to form words. Instead she silently watches the television, even when Lars rests his hand on her knee.

His hand creeps higher to her inner thigh as the minutes tick by, however, and Sadie inwardly sighs.

“Lars, I…” She strengthens her resolve, lightly pushing at his wrist. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”

“Yeah,” he agrees way too readily, with a casual shrug. Sadie can’t help but feel a little miffed at that, even if he made this easier than she thought he would. But his hand is still lazily caressing her thigh. “Season two was a lot better.”

Sadie blinks dumbly at his words, watching him pick up his game controller with his free hand. The show they’ve been watching pauses, and is replaced on screen by the browsing section of the streaming site they were using.

“They put up a new horror movie the other day,” he suggests as he shuffles through the titles. “It’s Japanese so there’s a bunch of stupid subtitles, but I figure you wouldn’t care as much.”

“What? Lars, no. I --”

“Okay, okay. There _is_ a dubbed version. But I think it would be too _distracting_ ,” he tells her with a little smirk, hand shooting up to cup her sex, middle finger pressing enticingly against her slit through the thin layers of her leggings and boyshorts, causing her to gasp involuntarily.  

Sadie blushes, and smacks his hand away. His smile disappears, confusion causing his eyes to squint. His head tilts down so they’re more at eye level. But having his full attention, his dark eyes staring intently at her as his large hand hovers above her knee just enough to make him not touching her feel like a crime, is altogether too much. He’s too close. Sadie scoots to the other side of the sofa, and takes a second to breathe.

“I don’t want to do _this_ ,” she forces herself to say again, hand gesturing to the space between them.

Lars stares at her, a million emotions flashing in his eyes before he settles into a weak laugh.

“Oh, shit. Sorry. I didn’t mean to just… I thought you were into it?” He cringes a bit, suddenly feeling kind of smarmy as his eyes dart to his offending hand before he shakes his head. “Sorry. We can just watch the movie. If you don’t wanna do stuff now, that’s cool.”

“No, Lars. I mean, I don’t want to do it _at all_ ,” Sadie reiterates, her voice growing softer when she tacks on, “Not anymore.”

_The hell just happened?_

It’s now Lars’s turn to blink dumbly. He chews on his bottom lip, his brows knitting together until her nightmarish words fully register. He takes in a sharp inhale through his nose, his eyes closing as a wave of anger and festering insecurities crashes over him. Sadie braces herself for a scream that doesn’t come, but she knows the question that comes hurtling tersely out of him before his mouth can even form the first syllable.

“ _Why not?_ ”

Sadie glances away in response, her shoulders sagging with a light sigh.

When it started, Sadie really thought she could handle this type of relationship. It just made everything more painful, however. When she was secretly pining away for him for the better part of last year, at least she could put herself in check by separating what’s real and what’s just fantasy. The handful of times they had kissed beforehand were just isolated incidents, and easily explained away. But since their little arrangement, that line between feelings and reality became very blurred.

The emotional pingpong she’s been through --from the very start of their friendship-- has been such a strain on her. But there had been progression, tearful and heartfelt talks, and she also recalls the few times he whispered about feeling unworthy of her companionship.

She thought that maybe he had matured enough...That _they both_ had matured enough that maybe this could develop into something worthwhile. However, maybe she’s been deluding herself. Seeing other girls flirt with him, only for him to try and feel her up barely an hour later? What a load of bull! Lars could make her feel so treasured and special, and in a span of seconds he could also make her feel like hot garbage. And, frankly, she’s sick of it.

“I deserve better than this,” Sadie tells him. It doesn’t come out as strong and empowered as it had when she declared it in front of the bathroom mirror, but the softly spoken words come out firm enough. “I deserve better than to just be your sex toy.”

Lars’s entire body recoils at that. The earth seems to slip off its atlas. His face gets all red, and he snaps up so his back is ramrod straight.

“Hold on, don’t … Don’t fuckin’ say shit like that,” Lars barely manages to say at a normal volume, through gritted teeth, his voice cracking. A pained expression marrs his features. His hands harshly fists the edge of the couch cushions. “You make it sound like I’m using you, and that’s not fair. You… You… You _agreed_ to this, Sadie. You said you wanted this too.”

“I know. I did,” Sadie sighs. Her anxious fingers nervously weave into her hair, getting caught in the tangle of curls. She has to yank her hand free. The slight sting from the tug on her roots is a welcomed distraction. Though it only lasts a millisecond.

“Then why?” Lars questions her again. “Why the sudden change?”

“It’s not sudden...”

“Sadie, we just fucked like two days ago,” he scoffs bitterly, and crosses his arms. When it's put that way,  it _does_ sound pretty sudden. So Sadie squirms in her seat, and shyly bows her head. Lars’s face gets redder, and his eyes turn glassy. He scoots away until his back bumps into the armrest on the opposite end of the sofa. Lars glares at the wooden floor, refusing to look at her any longer. “So why? Did you… Did you meet someone else?”

The clear jealousy and hurt that wavered his voice causes him to frown at himself. But the absurd notion shocks Sadie into a short lived, manic laugh that has them both going wide eyed.

“Sorry, it's just...” she trails off, unsure how to explain the sudden outburst. Sadie shakes her head. “No, I haven’t met anyone else. When would I have ever?”

“Then what?” he asks again, though relief softens the hard edges of his tone. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No. No, I just… Well… I want... I want _more_.”

“More?” he repeats.

She nods, her gaze dropping to her hands nervously wringing themselves.

The little crease between his furrowed brows deepens as he thinks that over.

He… He kind of thought they had already stepped into the _more_ territory. You don’t snot all over a girl’s top, and not feel a certain way as she holds you to her bosom. He had quickly realized that had been a mistake on his part just seconds ago when she announced that she’s calling it quits. He shouldn’t have assumed they were _together_ just because she stood by him during this whole fiasco with his mom, and they had made love a few times. Hell, she probably didn’t even see it as them _making love_. Fuck, he’s such an idiot!

He briefly wondered if she had picked up on the shift and, with his mom being better now, she no longer felt guilty about telling him what’s what. Fuck! _She didn’t want to be his girlfriend, and now she doesn’t want to be his fuck buddy either_.

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! He knew he wasn’t good enough. He knew this! And yet, here he is, feeling like his chest is going to collapse in on itself because Sadie doesn’t want him.

He’s a miserable, useless waste of space that can’t do anything! Why would she want to be with him? Except… There was something about the way Sadie had just explained it. The sad, longing tone she used… Maybe Sadie hadn’t noticed the shift at all? Maybe she’s actually open to the idea?

He sends her a hopeful look. She blushes, and his heart thumps. _God be merciful._

“I… ” Lars starts, meekly dropping her gaze. He swallows the lump in his throat. “I… _We_ could try more.”

“R-really?” Sadie blinks in surprise, staring at him with owlish eyes.

“Well, _yeah_ ,” Lars exhales, hand pushing back his curly mohawk. “Shit, Sadie. Ya gotta know that I lo... I mean… When I’m with you, I feel so… And you’re so… I just… Um. ”

“Lars?”

“Me being your boyfriend wouldn’t be the worst thing ever,” he blurts loudly, flushed cheeks burning painfully when he adds, “is what I’m trying to say.”

Sadie frowns slightly, even as her insides flutter with joy. Lars dares a glance at her, his eyes gleaming with so much hope and longing that Sadie’s head turns away in disbelief. She snorts, hand fisting back her own hair.

Wow. Had it really been that simple? Did all she really have to do is ask? Sadie finds herself laughing, tears springing to her eyes. This whole time, he’s been willing and wanting it too.

Thinking about it, she kind of feels like an imbecile. It had been so obvious. And yet, here they are!

“God, is me being your boyfriend that stupid of an idea?” Lars softly grumbles as he listens to her shaky laughter. His heart is aching in his chest, his leg is bouncing as he caves in on himself. He wishes they weren’t at his house so he could just leave. It’s then that it seriously hits him that this is it. He’ll have to quit his job, because there’s no way he could deal with seeing her almost everyday after this. His guts twists. Fuck, he’s going to miss her like crazy. He doesn’t know why he even bothers to say it, but the words that just moments ago were stuck in his throat comes flying out of him. “I frickin’ love you, Sadie.”

“I know,” she hiccups. Lars looks back up at her, the sting of her laughing at him is forgotten when he sees the steady flow of tears streaming down her cheeks. He moves towards her without thinking, cupping her jaw and thumbing away the damp streak from her flesh. Her eyes stare up at him in wonder, and her smile is pure joy despite her lips quivering. Another watery giggle bubbles out of her, and Lars suddenly understands it's not him she’s laughing at. “I love you too.”

“Shit, babe,” Lars laughs, though it's more a huff of relieved air. “Don’t scare me like that.”

“D-don’t call me babe.”

They both let out breathy, elated chuckles. His forehead presses to hers, and their noses bump. It’s then her words truly sink in, and his heart soars. A wonder filled smile stretches his lips from ear to ear.

“I love you,” he whispers happily because he means it, and because he really _really_ wants to hear her say it back again.

“And I love you, Lars. I ...I have for a while.”

“Yeah?” he asks softly, almost in awe. It just isn’t possible. _This can’t be real._

“Yeah,” she reaffirms with a soft laugh, her eyelids drooping. He grins wider, tilting his head and causing the tip of their noses to brush in a lazy Eskimo kiss. _It’s real._

“Me too.”

Sadie’s warm smile floods him with joy. Her fingers curl into his shirt, and she pulls him closer. Their lips come together, soft and tender. Lars sighs as if her kiss is the only thing he’s ever wanted, and Sadie takes this moment to ardently slide her tongue against his. His arms lovingly embrace her, pulling her closer until she’s almost on his lap. A rush of euphoria surges through them. She leisurely suckles his lower lip. His fingers thread through her hair. His lips wander down her neck, earning him little pleasured sighs, before returning to her mouth with growing ardor. It’s all familiar, yet somehow new.

They soon lose themselves completely in the sweetest kiss they’ve ever shared.

**Author's Note:**

> Please be kind, and comment. Also, feel free to chat me up on tumblr (I have the same username there). 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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